Boosting Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence
Have you ever thought of raising your child’s Emotional Intelligence? Emotional Intelligence,describes an ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self and of others. A child with a high Emotional Intelligence can cope with his feelings, can soothe himself down from emotional high-wire acts,understands and relates well with others, and can form strong friendships more easily. Emotional intelligence can also help children become confident, responsible and successful adults who steer skillfully through interpersonal relationships.
Listen and understand the child’s feelings.
Pay close attention to your child when he tells you how he feels. Don’t dismiss a child’s emotions as silly they are obviously very important to the child. Firstly, try and listen carefully to what your child has to say, however busy you are. The feeling that you are listening is very comforting for the child.For instance, if he has not won a prize in some contest he participated, you can find out if he is feeling disappointed or dejected. If his response is positive, share a similar experience with him when you were at school. This makes the child aware that everybody has passed through this sometime or the other, and he is not alone.
Lead by being an example and staying calm.
How your react to your child’s display of emotion is important. Voice your emotions clearly but don’t be harsh. Try saying “It upsets me when you do that” rather than “You drive me crazy.” Before training your child emotionally, you should check out your behavior in this regard. Children are learning about emotions by watching you handle yours.
Be sincere regarding your own emotions.
Be honest and try and express what you are actually feeling than making up some story for it. If you are really upset with your child, let him know it from you. By acknowledging how we feel, no matter how unpleasant, we impart a valuable lesson: The child understands that difficult feelings can be managed well by practice.
Teach problem solving skills to your child by using minor issue situations.
In case of some clash or issue at home or school, parents are expected to handle it creatively. For example, you can say “I understand that you are angry since your friend broke your toy, but you should not thrash him for that. You can show him that you are upset without hitting him.” Next, you may list out some alternative methods to express anger.This can include writing down the emotions in a diary so as to get them out or any other way which is.Finally, help your child understand that the problem is how he acted, not who he is.
Right way to feel like a Hero
A young man was one day taking a walk with his professor,As they went along, on the path they saw a pair of old shoes,belonging to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day’s work. The student turned to the professor saying, “Let’s play a trick. We will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes,and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them.”
My young friend,” answered the professor, “we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor just because we are rich. Put a coin into each shoe, and then hide ourselves to watch how the discovery affects him.”
The student did so, and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work,and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. He slipped his foot into one of his shoes.Feeling something hard,he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. He was astonished. Wondering, he turned the coin round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all sides, but no one was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin. His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.
The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears. “Now,” said the professor, “are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?”
The youth replied, “You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. I feel now the truth of those words,which I never understood before: “There are right ways to feel like a hero and wrong ways to feel like to hero. When you choose the right ways to feel like a hero, you also create yourself. When you choose the wrong ways to feel like a hero,you destroy yourself in the process.”Thank you so much,Sir.”
About The Author
Think Inc. is a leading name in the field of corporate trainings and publication of books on self management, how to keep your family happy, selling & customer service skills.