Teaching is the most noble of all professions. It is a profession which shapes lives and mankind itself. Since the beginning of time, and over generations, mankind owes its learning to self-less teachers who have given all their time, effort, conc ern and knowledge to ensure that students achieve success in life. To return or repay the kindness of the teachers is not easy.  We must therefore take the responsibility to teach children to respect teachers. We all do respect our teachers, yet we also do and say things which are in a sense, very contradictory to the respect which we bear in our heart. This article will help you explore those thoughts and actions and give you some ideas to think about as well.

1. Some unintentional mistakes
   Human beings are designed to make mistakes, many of which are harmless and unintentional and many otherwise. We would like you to think of every such incident where you have referred to your child’s teacher. Many times, these conversations are laden with your opinion. Your children are always listening to that opinion. When they hear so, they begin to judge the teachers in their mind. This mental activity surely impairs their ability to respect their teachers. While your opinion may be very legitimate, but voicing it to your spouse or relative and friend does not create a favourable situation for shaping your child’s attitude towards his teacher. Keep such conversations in check. In case you have a disagreement with a teacher, it is best to request time from the teacher and speak in person. Needless to add, that you may also be surprised at a new perspective that conversation would give you.
2. Have empathy and understanding for the teacher
   Teachers are also human beings. We must allow them to exhibit normal behaviour, short-comings and behavioural peculiarities. Since their profession demands such high standards of moral and social behaviour, we tend to become very critical towards their human side. They do have a life apart from their work, and that may cause them to behave or act in a manner which we may not normally expect. We should not exercise our critical judgement on the teachers especially about things which are private and personal to them.  And most important is to not discuss those things. Remember, your attitude to the teacher shapes your child’s attitude to the teacher.
3.  Accept and acknowledge the difficulty of their profession
   In a family which has two children or more, it is easy for the parents to understand that it is not easy for the teacher to manage so many children, and all at once. In modern families, which have only one child, the parents do not easily relate to the fact that their precious child is not the only one that the teacher has to take care of. This causes the parents to bear a lot of grudge towards the teacher and hold them guilty of negligence. Unfortunately, the child is also unable to connect to the teacher and begins to feel apathetically for the teacher. Rather, parents must co-operate with the teacher to understand the extent of the teacher’s responsibility. Remember, that your child is not entitled to special treatment, because a teacher is supposed to be impartial. So instead of responding negatively, teach the child to not be demanding but to become deserving. The attention and care will flow naturally.
4. Discourage your child from indulging in pranks and fruitless discussions about school and teachers
   It may be very amusing to share the pranks you played on your teachers. But we do not really want our children to get inspired by those!  Children feel it is acceptable to carry on the mischiefs when they hear about their own parents being notorious. Another very important thing is, do not indulge in idle discussion about teachers. Imitating teachers and making fun of them is very sad and distasteful. It lowers your child’s value system and you must take care that even your child’s friends do not indulge in these activities. It is not only a mark or disregard and disrespect, but also unethical.

We wish for you and your child to have a happy and thriving association with their teachers.
A relationship that changes lives must last for a life time.

The other day in the afternoon I witnessed a mother who had come to accompany her daughter who was about five years old from the school bus stop to their house.

When the bus came, the mother was standing but was talking to someone on the mobile phone, and when the daughter got off the bus, took the school bag from the daughter, grabbed her hand and started walking, and while she was walking, she was talking, to what I could gather a friend, for she was smiling and laughing continuously.

Soon, I observed that the daughter had an expression of fear on her face. I was expecting her to be smiling for she was holding on to the hand of her mother. On closer observation, I realized that the mother was too engrossed and was not sensitive enough to the fact that her daughter being small, can not walk as fast as the mother, for the mother was taking adult steps.

Looking at the sight of a mother, who was doing her duty, but was not being sensitive to her daughter. Often many of us do the same; we take on our responsibilities as a duty, and while doing it, fail to be sensitive to doing it well enough so we are able to comfort the person whom we are serving.

I feel that the mother should have cut the conversation short, when she saw the school bus arrive, and should have given her daughter undivided attention and should have walked at the pace of  her daughter. Packing too many things in one’s lives, results in keeping happiness away.

Technology should be used to enhance our lives, not to entrap it. At home, often we get so involved with television that even while having our meals, we are only partially present with our family members. I was once told by a dietician that people who watch television while having their meals, tend to eat more, as they are not able to taste the food very well, for their attention is scattered, so they end up eating more, to attain a level of satisfaction. Sadly, many of us are living in families who are overweight and lonely.

To be happy, we need to be in the present moment, especially when we are with our family. Giving undivided attention to our family members, especially during meal times will ensure that we will also receive their undivided attention, thus leading to better family bonds. There is a common saying, “a family that eats together, stays together.”

I remember, once when I was in Japan, I saw a Japanese mother was holding on to the hand of her young son, who may have been four at the time. The son was wearing a protective head gear. The mother was walking at her own pace, and holding on to her son’s hand, while she was walking, the son was skating and they both were paying close attention to each other, the bonding was great and they were walking and skating  at the same pace and in great harmony.

I wish each and every one of us to be there, living with undivided attention, moment to moment, thus creating a happy momentum in our lives, and in the lives of others.

She doesn’t need a tablet or a doctor-all she needs is a flower and a smile.

One of my learning’s in life has come out from this funda (Logic). Words like “Thank you”, “Please”, “what is your opinion?” and so on. If these are said from the head and heart, they work very well. All said and done, never give up because managing your wife is an art and not a rocket science!

Virat Kohli was noticed when he played for Delhi in a Ranjhi Trophy match against Karnataka. His father had died early that morning, and yet he was at the stadium to play for his team. His 90 run innings were crucial for Delhi’s victory that day. And this was in 2006 when he was 17 years old.

Only a person with remarkable passion and love for what he or she is doing can go ahead and do something so…remarkable. It takes great courage and emotional strength to play such a wonderful innings on the morning of your father’s death. At the age of 17 one is still a child, not fully matured. He is the first Indian to make a century in his world cup debut match [his 100* against BD in the opening WC match].

Earlier he appeared to be a “young talented lad in love with his own game”. He admits to have been carried away by the fame that IPL gave him [post the success of the U-19 cup]. These are his very words-

I think I lost my way in the first year (of IPL) very badly and I admit to it. I was taken by the fame, so many people coming to watch and it was all first for me. Some people can deal with it but I couldn’t. I didn’t do well in the IPL but scored a century in the Emerging Players’ tournament in Australia. (Dilip) Vengsarkar (the chairman of selectors) was there and he gave me a break in the national team after which things have only improved for me. That Emerging Players’ tournament was the turning point of my career

It takes a great deal of courage to own up to your mistakes. Only a strong individual can do that. Unlike what most teenagers would have done in such a position, Kohli was determined to change his attitude and work towards the best. This again is from his own words-

What people were talking about my attitude during first IPL was right to a certain extent. I have accepted the criticism and tried to take it in the right spirit. There are two ways to deal with it; either you ignore it and keep continuing in the same way doing the same mistakes or you can accept the criticism and rectify it. And I took the second approach.

 Virat Kohli is an ideal inspiration for the Indian Youth  because he has achieved a lot of success and has fulfilled his dreams at a young age of 22. Such an example is an inspiration to the youth who believe in going after their dreams at a young age. It’s an inspiration for the ones who don’t want to wait till they are in their mid 30′s to achieve their dreams. Virat Kohli is a living example and a proof that one doesn’t need to go through twisted ways, or wait for a long time to achieve their dreams. He is a proof that one can use the straight and honest path & yet achieve a lot in a very short time.

Please click on the link below to see an interview of Virat Kohli.

http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/prime-shows/virat-kohli-from-tragedy-to-success/213733

Imagine yourself spending a day with a person who is differently able – one who cannot speak, or one who cannot hear. Is it going to be easy for you to connect to the person? Obviously, you would not find it easy or desirable in a general setup.  Yet you do agree, that there is a thought in every mind and in every soul, regardless of the fact that they maybe able to externally or explicitly communicate it or not.

We bring you a very inspiring example of a very renowned scientist, who revolutionized the way human being connect and communicate. After his invention, technology has been playing a fundamental role in communication and also human relationships.

Alexander Graham Bell, a scientist, artist, inventor and much more, yet simply put – he was a man dedicated to build connections with people through communication. The world gives him unrivalled glory and immortal fame for inventing the telephone. His, is an example of what man can achieve with an extra-ordinary intention and persistence. It is a well-known fact that his invention was originally his pursuit to connect with his mother, who was hard of hearing. In fact long before he actually arrived at his “harmonic telegraph”, he had successfully created a device with which he could communicate with his mother. What joy it meant to them both is a matter beyond description, a matter that simply warms ones heart.

As young as sixteen years of age, Bell was a teacher of elocution and music in a school. It may not have gone all the way to become his profession, but it does tell us about his passion and continual pursuit to enrich human communication – making it more alive and natural.

It was a revolutionary feat that Alexander Graham Bell took up the mission to teach speaking skills to deaf children at the Boston School for Deaf Mutes, as long ago as 1871. We do understand that speaking without hearing can be a nearly impossible skill to achieve. Bell’s genius and compassion is truly inspiring.

If you look into your own life, there would be people who live or work with you, around you; but perhaps your communication with them is not so unique.  Nothing could be so unfortunate as to have people try to reach you, whose voice and thoughts you cannot hear, or understand. Whatever legitimate constraints may be holding you back, let us remind you of the moment when Alexander Graham Bell made the first phone call to his associate Thomas Watson, he made it possible, and easy to at least take the first step and give someone a call which is long due.

Here are three simple things you can do strengthen the communication around you:

1. Be available fully for the people who share their time with you. It means controlling distractions, interruptions, arguments and judgments.
2. Respect the speaker’s perspective. It may not be easy under every situation as you may have a viewpoint that contradicts, nevertheless you must practice listening with an open mind.
3. Be compassionate when you speak. It is important to be right. And it is equally important to say it the right way, without hurting or demeaning the other person.

Spread the joy of communication – enjoy the gift of speech, and gift someone a patient listening.

This month’s Think Link brings for you Vijay Michihito Batra’s talk at Ahmedabad Management Association on ‘Success Principles – The Matsushita Way’ based on the same book written by him.

Matsushita Konosuke’s management philosophy lies in the concept that a company belongs not to its owners or collective shareholders, but to the society in which it operates and exists. He had a unique view on profit. He believed that profit should not be the objective of a business. Profit should be the compensation that society gives to the business for its endeavors to provide people with products and services that further the state of the society.

Matsushita’s “Tap Water Philosophy” is based on the conviction that society must enjoy better, more comfortable lives and other amenities and products that were expensive to be produced in mass quantity to create abundance  thereby making them ‘as cheap as water’.

Quick to recognize opportunity in every adversity, Matsushita was never known to be afraid or defensive. He deeply respected worthy and strong competitors, and grew better due to them. He believed in the inherent strength of medium-sized companies as compared to large corporations as he regarded their decision-making process is much more effective and efficient.

This talk celebrates the spirit, philosophy and wisdom of Matsushita Konosuke – a man of winning attitude with boundless energy, a man with a purpose, a man who changed millions of lives. Please click on the link to enjoy and learn from the talk.

‘Satyameva Jayate’ is our national motto, yet it is not a very common sight to see honesty and truthfulness in thought and action around us. That is why, the attempt to inculcate it in our children has to be more deliberate and an ongoing process. Honesty is not yet so old-fashioned in the modern world that it can be regarded as an unnecessary fuss. In fact, with time people realize that it is important to be and remain honest if one wants life and living to be a rewarding experience.

Can honesty be taught? That remains to be a question, but surely, honesty can be modeled and encouraged. As parents, we can teach our children a valuable lesson on what honesty in day to day living is, and also, why it is important in life.

1. Let children express freely.
Honesty begins with the fearless expression of facts. Let your children never be afraid to tell what is and what actually happened.

2. Honesty is its own reward.
We cannot give a reward to reinforce this desirable behavior  Rather we must regard, that being able to speak the truth and remaining honest are what defines a virtuous individual. They are a reward in themselves. Anything else given in return of honesty actually belittles it.

3. Watch your actions.
Children lose the faith in honesty as they grow up due to what they imbibe from the environment as well. You may be speaking the truth, but remember, even in our actions, there are plenty of ways in which we compromise with honesty. Look at simple acts of red-light violation on the road, non-payment of bill when undercharged, returning a used product, all such instances present us with a real life test of honesty.

4. Don’t make a fuss over mistakes.
The most common mistake of parents is to expect truthful acknowledgment of mistakes and then, attacking the very thing! If you want to nurture honesty, you must have a large appetite for unbearable facts, simply because they are true. Anything less from your side will seal the fate of this endeavour.

5. Don’t penalize excessively.
Mostly when they are compelled to be dishonest, children actually merely want to escape your disciplinary measures. Being overly harsh and unyielding will cause your child to harden from within and then either they would resort to modifying and manipulating facts or turn into cynical adults.

Being honest is a blissful experience. It leaves us light and simple like a child. To be honest is a difficult way of living, where you must forgo many a temptation to take the easy way out, but it merits all the effort. Gift your child the virtue of honesty by inculcating the value in him and may he have the courage to practice it at all times!

We all know that the crow used the stones to raise the level of the water and solved his thirst problem. Right? Some of our problems are caused by life’s foolish pleasures such as when greed takes over the rational factor! Buying a Honda Civic which may result in your being financially tight for several years versus a humble Maruti is one such example. Having a credit card and then not being able to stay away from temptations! Fortunately in my own case this funda helped me a lot to solve my problems of tomorrow with the simple idea of not worrying what would people says! Once the years I have built plenty of self-respect.

The other day, I was chit-chatting with my son Gaurav who is doing his B. Tech in mechanical from VIT, Vellore in Tamil Naidu. He was visiting us during his winter vacation.  During our conversation I casually asked him “Son I hope you will look after your mummy and papa when we are old?”

He smiled and countered me with another question “Papa are you raising a Nurse or a son?” I immediately realized that we our so often obsessed about ourselves, always thinking what other will do for me, and in the process we make ourselves dependent and vulnerable.

Happiness comes when we empower ourselves to look after ourselves, and think of ways by which we can help others.

Later that evening, I sat down and thought that instead of assisting my son, who was learning to live on his own in the hostel, which he has never done before; I was putting unnecessary pressure on him by burdening him about a future that was still very distant. I was glad that I took his counter question in the right way. I imagined what damage I would have caused in our relationship if I would have blurted out that here I am working day and night to provide you with a bright future, and you already are becoming selfish and self centred. If I would have done that, I would have put a kink in our relationship and made myself miserable and vulnerable.

Later that day, I reflected, was I as a son doing everything to make my father who is old now, to make his life comfortable, and I realized, the truth was ‘No’.

The resolution I have made this year is that everything that I expect from my son to do for me when I become old, I will do for my father. I will live in the present, and not in some distant future.

Let the year 2013 be “what can I do for you year” instead of “what have you done for

me lately year.”

There is story of Guru Nanakji. When he was very young, he was already spiritually enlightened. The story goes, that his uncle who had a business of selling blankets, would distribute 20 blankets every Tuesday to the poor. On one particular Tuesday, the uncle had to go to attend to some urgent business, so he asked Guru Nanakji to open the store and distribute the 20 blankets. Guru Nanakji started distributing the blankets one by one and was counting as he was instructed by his uncle to distribute twenty blankets. As Guru Nanakji came to the number thirteen, he started distributing blankets by counting tera(Hindi number thirteen) , tera, tera … after a few hours his uncle was informed by an acquaintance that his nephew Nanakji was distributing blankets to the multitude who had gathered in front of the store and he was distributing to whoever was coming by saying tera tera  … the uncle came rushing to stop his nephew from emptying the warehouse, but when he entered the warehouse, he was surprised that the blankets were stockpiled the way he had left the warehouse.

Let this story inspire us to dedicate the year 2013 as a tera year, so we can think of using our potential to make this year a tera(informal you in Hindi)  year and not mera (my, mine in Hindi).

From A Hobby Of His Childhood, He ‘Perfected’ Public Address System

Dr. Amar Bose, an inspiring story of an extraordinary Indian who has painstakingly nurtured a childhood fascination into creating a legacy which has touched across Sports, Arts and Technology. Before you think that your passion does not have much significance and give up on your talents, try thinking, what can you give the world if you honestly nurtured your passion?

Here is a brief account of Dr. Amar Bose:

Amar Bose was raised in Philadelphia in the 1930s, the son of a political dissident who had emigrated from Kolkatta, India. The young Bose first became interested in technology at age thirteen, when he started repairing model trains, to supplement his family’s income. He claims that with amazing simplicity, “At 13, I realized that I could fix anything electronic. It was amazing, I could just do it. I started a business repairing radios. It grew to be one of the largest in Philadelphia.”

As Bose took on the work of repairing transistors; so he entered MIT with a great deal of practical experience in electronics. After he graduated with a B.Sc in Electrical Engineering in the early 1950s, Bose embarked on a personal crusade to invent a stereo loudspeaker. Being a violin player himself, he was determined to create something that would reproduce, in a domestic setting, the vivid sound that a member of the audience hears at a great concert hall.

As a student at MIT, Bose had learnt that 80% of the sound heard by a person in a concert hall is indirect-i.e., bounced off the ceiling and walls-rather than direct from stage to ear. Bose capitalized on this notion by inventing the 901(R) Direct/Reflecting(R) speaker system (1968): one of the first stereo loudspeakers to utilize the space around them instead of reproducing sounds as if in a vacuum.

Bose says that his best ideas usually come to him in a flash. “These innovations are not the result of rational thought; it’s an intuitive idea.” Throughout his life, he has been excited about research – a field which is only for the tenacious, who can persevere without instant rewards, and can selflessly give their vitality to what will matter to others. He says, “ The excitement level for me working on projects is really not a bit different from when I was 26.”

Today, Amar Bose has earned over two dozen patents, and he still works full time, directing a more than $550-million company, whose products can be found in Olympics stadia, Broadway theatres, the Sistine Chapel, the NASA Space Shuttle and the Japan National Theatre, wherever the quality of sound matters, you can surely find a ‘Bose’. It is the most respected name in sound, and the most real experience of sound possible.
Here are three questions to reflect upon:

Do you have a hobby you are really passionate about and good at?

What can you create from it if you took it seriously?

Whatever stops you from doing so, can you do something about it?

Speaking of one’s own context, it is very difficult to identify when self-interest and essential requirements cross the thin line that separates them from selfishness. It would shock you to know, even though you may not be aware, you could be acting selfishly, and consistently. What you could do therefore is to become aware of even the unobvious ways in which we express our self-centeredness. Next is of course, to confront it and deal with it sincerely. Without being judgmental of people, this article presents simple insights to our way of being, how to identify them and modify them positively.

Have you:
…managed to get your work done by another, no matter what is going on with him?
…been very busy over extended periods of time?
…made a convenient interpretation of others?
…noticed people to be a little reluctant to work with you closely?

One may not be aware, that while he is going about doing just common things, yet in reality, it could be possible that your actions are selfish. People’s reaction to you, in form of non-cooperation, reluctance, and disinterest about you is because they sense that you are selfish in your actions. If you were to receive such a feedback, that there is a degree of selfishness in your behaviour, you would call it an undeserved criticism. This is not because you are being defensive, but because, from your perspective your actions are only normal and necessary for you.

This is more about a certain conditioning of the mind than about values, morals or behaviour. Early in life, we may have learnt a harsh lesson that unless we learn to protect our needs and interests they may either be overlooked or sidelined. As we grow from there, the attitude to have one’s own interest served slowly engulfs. It is a topic that merits discussion and calls for honest introspection because it is going to define the relationships we have, with the spouse, with friends and colleagues and even with our children.

In order to pursue the dedicated path of self interest, there are a whole lot of supporting behaviours that germinate too. Naturally, to have our interest served, we need to manipulate our words and actions. Sometimes when that alone does not yield results, we begin to manipulate people. Scheming and plotting follow. It becomes an unconscious activity actually, because the person hardly realizes what means he is adopting, as his focus is on the ‘end’ – that is, himself. They develop an ability to express their own desire as though it would benefit others! Sadly, one cannot expect them to invest in people in return for the favour as they are already and always busy.
Another typical way of being that develops over time is, inability to share. Whether in the context of ideas, resources, things, and even one’s time, when a person is focused on his own interest, he would be completely unwilling to share. Selfish people gradually become ‘islands’, and their attitude impacts their relationships negatively. It does not need anyone else to help us see this, you can actually reflect on your own.

Here are some every day reactions which arise out of our selfish habits. You can catch yourself when:
• You ask someone to do something which has no value for him, but only for you
• You decline help and support to another because you are busy
• You are about to present craftily how helping you can be a worthy cause for others when it is not so in reality
• You are upset when your need has not been immediately met
• You refuse to give or share something giving an excuse, just because you are not used to giving

As a matter of habit, try to cultivate within you the following:
• Offer something you have, and see the joy it brings
• Manage some time for others, just to be with people
• Train yourself to accept delays, let others too get a chance
• Review your thoughts and actions when you get upset over your need not being addressed
• If there is something only for you, try to do it by yourself.

There is no harm in being prompt about ones needs. Over time, if you do nothing to add to it, then it shows as a negative attribute and a limiting behaviour, which not only distances you from others, but also reduces your own joy in life. Hence while you are already able to look after yourself, extend that to others and experience the difference.
It is worth the effort!

Why Innovators Need To Think Like Dick Fosbury

Richard Douglas “Dick” Fosbury is one of the most influential athletes in the history of track and field. He completely revolutionized the high jump event, inventing a unique “back-first” technique, now known as the Fosbury Flop, adopted by almost all high jumpers today.

Dick Fosbury was a frustrated 15-year-old high school sophomore. His favorite sport was high jumping. In the initial meet of the year with the bar set at five feet, he was the first one eliminated. He had some success clearing five feet using the scissors technique, but his coach explained to him that the scissors was an antiquated technique that was rather inefficient. If he wanted to be a competent high jumper, he would have learn the western roll, a technique where the jumper tucked one leg under his chin as he passed sideways over the bar. As his coach explained, the western roll was the best technique and all the top high jumpers used it.

Dick practiced the western roll, but he just couldn’t get the hang of it. He had an idea and he asked his coach if he could revert to the scissors kick. Perhaps feeling that he couldn’t do any worse, his coach allowed him to give it a try.

Dick knew he had to bring his hips higher to avoid hitting the bar so as he hurdled towards the bar he started to arch his back and he easily cleared five feet four inches. As the bar was moved higher Dick arched his back more and more. With the bar at five feet ten inches, Dick arched so much that he ended up flat on his back. It was not very graceful, but he had jumped six inches higher than his previous best and finished fourth in the meet, a huge improvement from a few weeks earlier.

He began experimenting with alternative, unconventional methods of high jumping. The straddling approach was used by all the high jumpers at that time for the past 4 decades. He dared to take the risk and reject the approach.

He tweaked the old-fashioned scissor kick, eventually morphing it into a new and unique approach, which was eventually dubbed the “Fosbury Flop.” His approach was scorned by the community. First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.

Fosbury set an Olympic record at the 1968 Mexico City games, jumping 7 feet 4.25 inches, and the world had to take notice.

He couldn’t do it the way they taught him to do it, so he invented a way he could do it, and now everyone does it his way.

Don’t be satisfied to run with the rest of the pack – think different. Today’s shifting environment—regulatory, demographic, technology, etc.—is ripe for innovation, but the real winners will be those who can exploit value from change that others have overlooked.

 “When you reach that elite level, 90 percent is mental and 10 percent is physical. You are competing against yourself. Not against the other athlete.”  

                                             ~ Dick Fosbury, Champion Olympic High Jump Athlete

Please view the links below to get inspired by Dick Fosbury

The conversations between parent and child are very revealing of what sort of unsaid agreement they have arrived at, in a very short span of time. Children as small as seven years of age knows very well how much of what his thoughts are acceptable to his parents. They can, in spite of their limited understanding of behaviour, very well predict the reactions of the parents.
Children are born with free expression. What they feel and think, they say, and exactly in the same form. They do not understand any sort of pretention that is involved in adult speech. But this gift of innocent speech is short lived as they are constantly experiencing situations where they are receiving a conditioning from the environment to not speak their mind. One may say that by the time they approach teenage, they have learnt few harsh lessons of the danger of speaking their mind openly. As a result, they begin to conceal. It begins with everyday things like not giving much details of their day in school, to more serious ones, about their feelings or about any important incident which occurs.(Read: Is your child hiding something?)

What may be going wrong?

One of the most priceless investments of a parent is being a patient and honest listener. At any point when children experience inconsistency in the way their parents listen to them, they begin to withdraw. Especially in a conversation where a child is expressing disagreement and dislike, the manner in which the parent listens is of utmost importance. Due to few moments of carelessness and indifference, our children may be defining the way they would speak to us for the rest of their lives.

Instead of accepting and appreciating their child’s perspective, many parents look upon a child’s expression of dislike and disagreement as an act of disrespect and belligerence. As a result the parent may become loud, aggressive and even very defensive. Any such response smothers the child’s courage and openness in his sharing of thoughts forever. These tiny moments add up and over time assume and exert immense control in our relationship. When the child grows to an adult, he has much to offer in terms of knowledge and meaning. Yet they would possibly refrain themselves for how they were treated by their parents.

To look at the matter from another angle, not letting the child express himself could be affecting the child’s self-esteem (Read: Cultivating your child’s Individuality). Home is the first place where the child practices his values and tries and tests his abilities. It is also the safest to begin living ones ideas and opinions. The home is where we all expect unconditional acceptance and support from. The encouragement he receives from his parents or the lack of it, may therefore build or completely destroy his sense of esteem.

What can you do?

As it is true for any form of feedback, it requires open-mindedness to accept it and even acknowledge the person who is delivering it. However, to actually practice that with simplicity is always a challenge. One reason why parents do not allow children to be vocal about their disagreements and dislikes is because parents feel that their authority is being questioned. They also feel that slowly and gradually his image in the child’s eyes will become less honourable. In some manner, it makes the parent feel insecure – and that is also the reason for defensive behaviour.
• However difficult it may be, always acknowledge your child for the trust he has shown, because of which he has chosen to share his mind with you.
• At the same time, lay down rules, that disagreements need not be expressed disagreeably. Maintain decorum. For that you need to at all times respond agreeably as well. (Read: Walk the Talk with your Children)
• When you disagree with others, try not becoming resentful. This is a very natural and the most common impact on behaviour. Imagine, if our children would also take to it!
• Always discuss disagreements based on “what is now possible in the future”. Otherwise, a disagreement conversation ends up being cynical and full of criticism.
• Whatever the matter is, try to come to some sort of compromise. You need not give in, neither fully, nor every time. Rather it is important to let your child learn that things cannot go exactly their way, and they must accept few things even if they dislike. (Read: Boosting your Child’s Emotional intelligence)

Human beings are born with the gift of thinking and reasoning. Hence disagreements are natural responses to another’s thought process. Children who learn to appreciate that and also make room for another person’s view definitely grow as more stable and grounded individuals. Make room for disagreements because contrasting views add balance and stability to decisions.

Let our children learn to disagree agreeably!

Question:

I work with my father and brother in a family owned business. It took my father great pain to establish the business 30 years ago. For a very long time he worked on his own to keep the business flourishing and then on completing education, we joined him. My younger brother incidentally joined before me. Over the last seven years that I spent working in our business, I have been very unhappy. It leaves me no time to pursue my hobby of wild-life photography. Earlier I had thought that not working for someone else but my own father will give me enough flexibility and ease to pursue my interest. Over time, it has proven exactly otherwise.
In the past, my relationship with my father also suffered when I expressed my interest elsewhere, and obviously, he could see my low motivation. My brother has also not responded favorably and is of an opinion to split the company into two based on our contributions as he assesses them.
I do not want to stifle my interest, nor do I know how to pursue my interest without disappointing my father and brother.

Advice:

Patience (‘Sabar’), Information (‘Khabar’), Perspective (‘Nazar’), and Guts (‘Jigar’) are the four pillars of living a vibrant life.

Given the fact that you have invested seven years of your life in the business, and the business is doing well, you need to fine tune the relationship that you have with your father and brother.

Be Patient, haste makes waste, make an effort to gather information so as to think of various options to resolve the conflict. Clarify from your brother as to how he would like the business to be divided, and understand from him if he would consider other options that you may think of. Once you have the information about your brother’s intentions, then you need to gain the right perspective so you may resolve the conflict, and not make it into a contest.

Finally, since you want to pursue your hobby of wild-life photography, you will need to develop the courage to take decisive steps.

Life is all about trade-offs, if you want to really pursue wild life photography, you will need to let go of something, which may be less share of profits coming your way or remuneration in favour of your brother, who will be devoting more time and effort in the business.

The time that you do spend in your business, equip yourself with better management tools, like time management, and project management tools, so your productivity increases.

Please remember, family businesses can be amazing for the whole family and the individuals, as long as constant effort is made by the members to make it work.

This is me! Yes, I am learned because when I was 30, I visualized what I will do after my retirement at 60. I started learning a little bit more every day and started to love what I was learning. Today at 72. I am still doing what I learnt to do and loving to do it so well that my old age is not a burden on me and my family members. I come across many people when I am reminded of the following wisdom saying: “For the ignorant old age is winter. For the learned it is a harvest”.

No one has yet been able to insult me because of my self-confidence and self-respect. I think: I am not intelligent nor I am stupid! I am what I am, so be it. I keep on self-reinforcing what I have achieved in my life, which is plenty for me. I get my inspiration from the following story:
A new salesman burst into a veteran (like me!) sales manager’s office complaining bitterly that he had been insulted by a dealer when he visited him as he was not shown the normal business courtesies. The old man was amused and told his young colleague that he had been virtually kicked out of dealerships, but never had he been insulted!
Well think it over and build your self confidence as no one else is going to “build” it for you.

A lot of people were asked to complete the sentence „ I use my money to__________“ and their answers were in general, alike. People respond with words like get happiness, get things I long for, make life comfortable, give me security and so forth. There is something very interesting one may note. Of all the things that you do with your money, there is something it does with you.

Psychologists believe that people use their money to speak about themselves – who they are, what they want others to see about them, what they value, and what they aspire.

Our article is not to judge how you spend. It is rather to give you an insight into how you are spending, and, how it is impacting your life.

To make introspection easier, here are some questions to answer:

Do you save up for months to buy the expensive brands, and often long for owning them?
Do you buy a few extra things when you are out with others, as compared to what you otherwise would?
Do you buy things to elevate your spirits, say when you feel low or depressed?
Do you buy things which you like, but have very little actual use for?
Do you buy things when there is a discount?
Do you buy things which will be used later?
Are you sometimes in awe of another’s car, and dream of acquiring it?

The purpose of the questions above is to bring out some important point to ponder. Why do we crave for an expensive brand? Leave aside the quality and aesthetics. There is surely something we know that possessing it will make us feel. That is not all, we also believe that we cannot feel that goodness through any other means.

When in a group we feel hesitant at times, to show our choice to not purchase. In some manner of interpretation, we consider ourselves inadequate as far as affording is concerned. Our generation has somehow come to believe that being frugal is a thing to look down upon. Of course, with the advent of luxury brands and access to a greater disposable income, life and living has changed to spending and acquiring. We fail to take notice that it has distanced us from being in touch with our deeply important things. We know how to be happy instantly, but we have no clue how to remain happy for a long time. Because one may purchase, but one cannot be happy if one does not know how to enjoy and feel satiated.

Advertising and marketing lures us to spend our hard earned money on things which are definitely attractive, but sometimes do not fit our lifestyle. We fall prey to their campaign and very often make a self-defeating choice – we buy things which are not in line with our long term view of life. Imagine having a long term financial commitment that makes a difference to your entire family, and then, being hijacked by display windows which call out for spending and thus throwing us off our plan. We don’t even realize that. However, we quietly postpone the important monetary commitment, as the money gets diverted elsewhere.

Expanding the wardrobe is enthusing but let us also consider expanding the bookshelf. Let us instead of expanding our living alone, use part of our efforts to expanding our minds – reading, learning, and doing new things which add value.

It is a compelling thing to have plans to acquire bigger and better. It is simple wisdom and the key to happiness to enjoy what you have. There will always be a bigger car and a better phone than the one you can conveniently afford. But the one you have is the best one for you because it serves your purposes. Unhappiness and dissatisfaction do not originate from big losses alone. It is the day to day living in which we are not at peace with which creates a feeling of emptiness in the long run. And to deal with it, we indulge further more!

It has become a common way to define urban spending habits as – people buy things with the money they do not have to impress the people they do not like!

Calcutta girl Chanda Zaveri, who left home at the age of 17 in 1984 to escape arranged marriage, went on to writing her own success story of becoming a millionaire entrepreneur and innovator. Instead of compromising with the life chosen for her by her parents, she preferred to leave home and embrace Life’s challenges head-on. She faced them with extraordinary courage and dedication and returned home after three decades as a millionaire entrepreneur.

She called up David Ross in Boston. She had met Ross when he had visited Kolkata as a tourist. “David agreed to send me a sponsor letter. I sold my diamond rings, purchased a British Airways ticket and fled to US,” she recalled.

Today, Chanda Zaveri (49) is one of the world’s leading molecular biologists, founder-owner of companies like Actiogen and Skin Healix, which have a combined turnover of $150 million and is a dollar multimillionaire in her own right.

Zaveri, who had graduated with biology from Calcutta University, had her own plans. “I dreamt of winning the Nobel Prize. And I knew I could never do it if I had to live a borrowed life as a housewife. So I decided to escape at any cost,” says

The early years were difficult. She worked as a maid to support herself. Then, a second chance event completely changed her life. One employer was impressed enough to give Zaveri a huge gift: $30,000 to go to Harvard, where she completed the two units necessary to pursue a master’s degree.

“David Ross introduced me to his father-in-law, who adopted me.”She went on to complete her master’s degree in molecular biology from the University of California and began her research in bio-chemistry at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech) under Nobel laureate Linus Pauling.

She dreamed of working in his lab, but the professor didn’t have much available.
“I will clean the petri dishes,” she told Pauling. “I would just be happy to be around you.”
Right away, Pauling noted Zaveri’s keen sense of observation and put her to work developing peptides. The first one she made, which improves collagen in the skin, became an instant best-seller.

Zaveri, who likes Indian food like khichri and Bengali gur sandesh, specialises in anti-ageing skincare, wound-care and cancer-care treatments. In 1994, she decided to set up her own business. B2 Actigen, the first product she developed, was a runaway success. Many more best-sellers followed.

“Today, lots of peptide-based skincare products are available in the market. But I was the first to use peptide in skincare lotions,” she said.
Despite the success of her business, she has no plans of either listing her companies or cashing out.“I do this because of the satisfaction it gives me,” she added. Even today, Zaveri focuses mainly on research & development end of the business.

Despite her busy schedule she makes it a point to make time for herself. “I love painting, which I do for self satisfaction. My second passion is Argentinean Tango dance and I have almost completed my course,” she said.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO VIEW HER SUCCESS STORY

Question:

We supply material for local garment manufacturers. To our clients, we have given very good rates, supplied at short notice and done every small thing to ensure our service standards generate delight. Sometime ago, the procurement manager of a particular client asked a personal favour of me, assuming I was in a position to help him. Obviously I had to decline. Immediately, from that point onwards, the manager dissuaded his owner from doing business with us. They discontinued placing anymore orders. He also blacklisted us as vendors and pointed out various shortfalls in our service. My company and my immediate senior manger began to blame me. I got no chance to explain myself, and I do understand that my company has lost a client. How can I take charge of the situation and turn it around successfully without blaming my client?

Advice:

Let every event be a learning experience for you. In the future you will face such situations again, in which case you can consult and involve your seniors who can then make decisions as per company policies and guidelines.

Another option is to make relationships with certain entities (channel partners) that are adept with dealing with such situations with whom you can share a certain margin or profit as a service charge.
Also keep in touch with the organization in the event that the person is transferred or removed from the current position, so you may again rebuild the relationship with the company.

Parents want to know what is going on in their child’s world. To know that, they would adopt every measure they can manage. Of course it is all in good intent, yet it takes away peace of mind. We shall not discuss what to do instead. But if we could see what and how this pursuit impacts us and the children, we would be motivated to find an alternative. While this is a situation relevant to parents of teenagers, yet parents whose children are younger would realize it is an approaching concern and relevant to them as well.

Are you doing something similar unknowingly?

There are many mothers who have chosen to dedicate themselves entirely to responsibilities that motherhood brings. Their noble and selfless decision has however, another side to it. As children grow up from babyhood to early childhood, their dependence on parents naturally lessens. And a major shift as far as self-reliance as individuals is concerned, takes place when they enter their teens. Now they have independent thought as well.

This gradual shift from dependence to self-reliance to complete independence takes a toll on the mother who has left her career to raise the child as it makes her feel less and less useful. And as a result, these mothers become vulnerable to other behavioural and psychological situations. The most commonly observed behaviour is irritability and sense of unworthiness in spite of putting in their hard work. It must be an agony to be shouldering the responsibilities of a parent and yet be full of self-doubt – about one’s abilities and contribution.

Before long, the entire energy is diverted to finding out about the child – about their social media and cellular phone usage. Some parents do not realize that they are almost stalking their children. The children as a result learn how to outsmart and operate stealthily. And that is sad.
Imagine yourself calling your child and he does not answer. Most parents will confess that they begin to think the worst has taken place and even practice ways to handle such an eventuality. The child of course, completely oblivious of the agony has no means to interpret the sudden and disproportionate reaction. Misunderstandings and discontent are born out of such experiences; consequently without either of them realizing it, the child begins to withdraw.

How does it impact?

We may not realize it, but when we begin to assume too much or when we become too curious, both ways we are trying to control their life.

For younger children, the approach shows up little more plainly. Mothers probe, and ask compulsively about every playground, canteen and classroom detail. Of course one would understand that this does not refer general fact-finding which otherwise a necessity with younger children. Even if the child may be as young as five, he can comprehend the fact that you are running their life instead. Their free-play becomes accountable; their every movement is under supervision. When you begin to enquire about them from their friends, that generates a lot of discontent in the child and affects his self-esteem.

Such an approach where you want to know everything, you want to decide everything creates a lot of problem in your relationship with the child. It has an adverse effect at the same time, on the child’s overall development. It impairs his ability to decide. In the name of being cautious, let us as parents not become obsessed with every movement and detail.

A large number of such children who face this situation grow up as very resentful adults. They are completely irreverent of their parents’ contribution and they harbour a lot of bitterness.

How can we deal with it better?

• The better way is to build trust. Empower your child to become trustworthy. You will not need to keep check in the same way.
• Have a parallel life of your own, a world where your presence is felt and heard beyond your home. It increases your sense of self-worth and the child’s regard for you in the long run.
• Give them values they can live their life by. It is an education of the mind and soul which will not let them fall off the right path.
• Show respect to their decisions, stand by them. When they go wrong, gently correct them.

Just as we adults cannot be comfortable having anyone, even our parents present all the time, it could be so for the children. As your child how can you with mutual co-operation create a design by means of which your concerns are addressed without making the child feel bitter. Such open conversations strengthen the bonding and you can truly feel the glory of being a parent and experiencing the love of your child for you.

Pushpa Basnet is a Nepali social worker and the Founder/President of Early Childhood Development Centre (ECDC) and Butterfly Home, non profit organizations, in Kathmandu, Nepal. She and her organization work to strengthen the rights of children living behind bars with their incarcerated parents.
Her efforts have been recognized by the national and international media, since she was nominated for and subsequently won the 2012 CNN Hero of the Year Award.

Basnet started her career at the age of 21, while she was still an undergraduate in Social Work. As part of her college assignment, she visited the women prison in Kathmandu. She was dismayed at seeing the conditions of children living with their parents behind the bars. She raised 70,000 rupees (roughly $885) from her close friends and sister, and started a non-profit organization -The Early Childhood Development Center (ECDC) to provide a day care program to the children, in 2005.

In 2007, she opened a residential home for kids to live outside of prison year round while still visiting their mothers on holidays. Today, she has assisted more than 100 children of incarcerated parents. She runs a day care center for the prison children and a residential home for older ones. She has also helped to provide alternative residence, school enrollment, free meals and medical care to them.
In 2009, sponsored by Change Fusion Nepal, she started a program to coach parents to make handicrafts inside the cell. The main objective of the program is to make the female prisoners as well as former prisoners to involve in income generating activities through which they can sustain their livelihood and contribute towards raising their children.

She, along with her organization, coordinates with prison administrators to rescue children behind bars throughout urban and rural areas of Nepal, and help them break the cycle of crime and poverty.

Please view the clips below to get inspired by this amazing lady:

Question:

I am in-charge of a small but flourishing Finance Consulting firm. There are three partners in all, and we have shared a great relationship in the past. Recently, we worked very hard on restructuring our organization to maximize our profits. We believe, now is really the time to pull all the strings. Incidentally, we came to a conclusion that one manager out of the two can be laid-off. One is a dedicated worker, respectful, and a fast learner. The other one is consistent, patient and soft-spoken. They have done a great job together, yet our decision to lay-off stands. Though being a Finance professional, the decision has been left to me as I mange the manpower. My partners totally trust my decision, but I am in deep dilemma. I cannot understand the outcome of the choice and how it would affect our firm. How should I choose whom to let go?

Advice:

Letting go of employees is a very sensitive and a critical issue. There are two parts, 1. You must be sure that you are right in choosing who to retain and who to let go. 2. Equally important, letting go of the other manager should be done correctly.

For the first part, I understand that your business is in the growth phase and is flourishing, so the right person to retain would be the dedicated, respectful and the fast learner. He or she would be able to take on the challenges of added responsibility and the new challenges that will be encountered by your organisation. Please ensure that he is well briefed so he is able to take on the current responsibilities of the other manager you will let go.

For the second part, the consistent, patient and soft spoken, who you may let go should be given all the possible assistance, to facilitate his transition from your organisation to some other organisation. An appropriate financial severance package should be given, and references so he or she may soon succeed in finding employment elsewhere. It will be great if you can identify some of your clients, vendors or other contacts who may benefit from his services.

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” – William G. T. Shedd

Safety and security are the prime worries of every parent. The nature of the worry may differ, depending on whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, but it prevails. Parents tremble from within with every untoward incident that is reported, and at the same time equally fear the many that go unreported. It is not possible to be with our child at all times, and therefore it is very essential to teach them the necessary skills to look after themselves and be safe. Sometimes however parents either over-protect or let the child become vulnerable. There must be a balance between caution and being carefree. It is important for us as parents to equip our child very firmly and with a positive attitude.


What must the children know?

Children must understand the basic difference between remaining safe and becoming paranoid.
A lot of parents, in their intent to protect, drive their children to acute paranoia due to their own fears. Such children are not only ill-equipped to handle themselves, but also grow up as shaky individuals. Instilling fear is not the idea, building confidence is.
It is not a big bad world. Life is beautiful, why then should we believe that the world is not! Everything is not as gloomy as the reports, but one must know what to watch out for. There are good people and there are bad people. Children must know how to tell them apart.


What are the signs that they must learn to recognize?

• An adult/stranger asks them for help, for finding a lost object, or directions to a place. This is not normal, because, adults must seek help from adults.

• An ordinary and ‘nice’ looking person walks up and tries to become friendly. This is just plain unusual.

• A person, even a lady whom no one knows around the colony wants to invite the child

• Anybody who is noticing the child, even from a distance with no clear reason

• People in the child’s playground who are not accompanied by their own children

• A friendly looking man offering sweets and candy

• A sudden frantic messenger telling the child to come with him

• Anyone offering a ride to the child

• Anyone trying to touch the child


When the child feels unsafe, what should he do?

• The safe places to take help from are: restaurants, policemen, immediate neighbours

• Walk away when they see anyone unusual approaching or lurking around them

• Refuse the adult’s invite or lift confidently, and raise an alarm if the adult does not back off

• Always play with others in a group and never alone

• Openly share anything out of the usual with the parents or care giver and not keep to himself


As parents:

• Be in touch with your child at all times, even if you are away at work

• Accompany the child as often as you can, to the park

• Instill confidence in your child

• Encourage openness

• Help children to develop courage and do not scare them

• Inculcate the life saving skill of identifying and trusting ones instincts

• Encourage playing with others especially if your child likes to play on his own

• Let them be independent but at the same time, seek permission for what they want to do

Teaching children how to look after themselves is a skill necessary for living. It is not just about potential dangers to them, but towards society as a whole. Only those who can take care of themselves can take care of others and become responsible citizens. If we all strive to become a powerful and robust individual, we may succeed in making our cities safe.

Any significant change is not simple. To begin with, it is difficult to accept the fact that you must undergo change. It means something that you are and have has been invalidated. That feeling can be very painful. It also hurts our ego! There are those among us who know something about them is not in order, but they do not give themselves a chance to change it as they are too afraid of the inconvenience. Many times, they do not find the inner strength to face the fact that they need to change.

Let us begin by acknowledging your decision to bring about a change in you. It takes courage and humility to admit that you must change things about you. And as it is famously said, well begun, is half done. However, there is nothing more common than an enthusiastic start to such a journey, but a gradual decline in eagerness and interest along the way.

These three basic questions will help you to begin with greater focus. Ask yourself:

• Am I fully equipped to embark on this journey? Do I know what it will take for me to keep going on this journey?
• What can cause harm to my plan? What are my road-blocks on the path?
• What am I vulnerable to? What can tempt me to abandon this journey? What can upset you?

Now that those critical questions have been answered, you are ready to undertake the journey. Here are some basic steps to following in order to bring about positive and lasting change within you:

1. Accept the need to change. People spend their precious lives living in absolute denial. Here you must weigh the cost of not changing. Till you realize that the cost of not changing is greater than the inconvenience of change, no journey in this direction can begin. This realization, however harsh, will set you on the path to change.

2. Focus on the gains. If you undertook this task to change something about yourself, how would it make a difference to your life and current situation? What can you consistently focus on which would prevent you from falling into the trap of giving up? The answer to these questions must be positive. People’s keenness is easily activated and maintained through positive motivation.

3. Identify who can support. Undertaking such a task is not easy by any standards. There would be many situations where you would feel you are not sufficient as an individual. Here it would greatly help you to speak to another person who can sustain your efforts. Do ensure that you find someone who believes in your plan and is spirited himself!

4. Take action. By the time you arrive at this step, you would have sufficiently weighed the path ahead, planned and prepared for every step. The time now is to take action. All planning is useless when not accompanied by the necessary action. Be it a plan to shift your career, change behaviour inside you, keep your New Year resolution, your success is not going to come from the plan or discussion. It is going to come from action. Therefore just do.

5. Sustain it. When you begin to take action, results begin to show. At this point it becomes clear to you that the change has brought positive impact in your life. Allow yourself the rewards. Share with others who need to bring the same difference to their life. This will ensure that your resolve to continue striving for keeping the change alive is much more powerful than the temptation of taking the easier route of going back to your old habits and patterns from which you want to break free.

6. Manage the occasional disappointment. For a human being there is no need to be embarrassed or disappointed at his own frailties. It can happen to anyone. And interestingly, it happens with everyone. People plan, prepare, work hard on the plan, sometimes mid way, they come close to giving up, occasionally even deviate, but finally pull themselves up. All is normal. It brings great harm when people become de-motivated due to small disappointments. An occasional setback is inevitable in anything that you set out to achieve. One should not abandon months of effort due to small things that may upset you along the way.

7. Remain committed. Be committed to the thought with which you decided to bring about the change. You may achieve great results due to your plan and perseverance, but never forget the inspiration which brought the shift in your mind-set. To remain committed to that idea would mean to encourage others around you who are struggling with theirs. Be grateful for what you achieved, and strive to be the inspiration in others’ lives too.

What small change will change the course of your life and your loved ones? Bring about the change which you have been putting off for so long. Do it now!

“May the New Year be a beginning of the life you have been dreaming to live so far. Happy New Year 2013!”

Next best, if you have to compare yourself with others, compare with those who are less fortunate than you. It works! I learnt years ago that pleasures in life can be very cheap as well as very expensive. With the correct mental attitude, everything can give pleasure. When I go home in the evening, I look forward to my cup of tea with three buttered toasts in my small air-conditioned room (Rishikesh). I shut my mind from the “bounties” of my friends who are better placed than me. A few years ago, I did not have an air conditioner. Now I have, so am enjoying this simple pleasure.

Now, when I watch TV, I feel how blessed I am. Many bad things are happening to even good people across the world. Floods, riots, market crash, violence and so on.

Question:

My colleague has become very bitter towards work, as well as the rest of the team. He believes that his appraisal was unfair and he was denied a big opportunity because of a minor error due to his oversight. I do relate to his situation because he is definitely a very sincere and competent professional. This sudden negativity, I am afraid, is going to only further get him in to unpleasant situations. As I can already see, his performance is lowered as he is appearing to be quite cynical in his approach towards his work. How can I as a team mate encourage him, because I feel for him and wish to make a difference.

Advice:

It is very often the case in many organizations that appraisals are inaccurate because of what is referred to as “recency effect” in this the appraiser is swayed by what, an appraisee may do good or bad just before the appraisals are due.

The options you have:

1. You may sensitize the person who has conducted the appraisal of your colleague and encourage him or her to have a meeting and counsel the colleague and come to a better agreement.

2. You may counsel the colleague to contact his or her senior who has appraised him or her for a meeting in which things may be aligned for the better.

Please advise the colleague that by allowing the mistake to cloud his or her attitude and by not taking appropriate action, he or she is giving credibility to the inaccurate appraisal, which is a lose, lose situation for both him or her and the organization.

Everywhere around your child, the focus of the environment is on winning. Whether it is in sports, or his favourite hobby, or academic competitions, the emphasis is on how to make it to the first place. Whenever we prepare our child to participate in any such event, we all know in our hearts, there is usually a greater chance for the child to lose than to win. In those moments of dejection and disappointment due to defeat, children decide in their minds how they would participate in the next event. Sometimes the decision made by them is to not participate at all! Defeat is difficult to bear, but inevitable yet. It is an important lesson for the child as he must learn to take winning and losing both in his stride.

Here are five very important tips for you to teach your child how to handle losing and defeat:
1. Focus on the effort
In whatever your child chooses to undertake, focus on putting in honest and sincere effort.
This would get him greater happiness and better results in the long-run. It is a lesson for life actually, and would help him get positive outcomes in every pursuit. Ask yourself – would you like your child to learn the ‘tricks’ of the trade, or the trade itself? Teaching a child how to win a particular game or excel in a particular event may get results. But a worthy lesson is to teach the child to put his best foot forward always.

2. Applaud the winner
When someone else wins, it is the time to applaud his success rather than brooding over your own failure. Teach your child that ‘the best sportsman must win’. The child must learn to honour excellence, in himself or in others – regardless. Of course it is disheartening for the child to lose, but children are born with immense resilience. They can handle defeat better than what we assume. When you play with your child, you need not necessarily let the child win. Winning must not seem easy to him, because it would diminish the will to persevere.

3. Acknowledge his courage in facing defeat
Many parents just avoid the topic altogether which involves disappointment and defeat. They feel, by not bringing it up, it shall pass sooner and the child will forget. Chances are the child would forget, but without learning how to face such situations. A very great danger which children face in these situations where parents avoid speaking about failures is that they begin to withdraw.

To make our children inwardly robust, it is important to speak about things which are unsettling too. When your child is undergoing a period of challenge or disappointment, appreciate his resolve, and his effort. That would give him a sense of comfort as well as renew his spirit to face greater challenges in the future.

4. Introspect the cause
While the matter is still fresh, have your child look into himself and his effort. Let him find a reason for his failure. To be able to evaluate oneself objectively is an immense ability, which would make him an extra-ordinary human being in times to come. Being able to speak impartially and objectively about ones shortcomings is a lesson which will help your child throughout his life. As a parent, you can feel content that your child will deal with challenges positively once he has learnt this lesson.

5. Maintain Emotional Balance
Failure and disappointment bring about few typical emotional responses. As parents, we must at this point resist giving our opinion and insights however useful they may be. Instead, to allow the child to fully express his emotional agony, parents must sincerely listen. Listen without breathing a word. Children often feel let down by their parents when in such a delicate moment they are given lessons where they have expected, and rightfully deserved our patience.
To be truly happy in life, one has to learn to respond to life’s surprises, reverses and consequences with a sense of balance. The time to begin the lesson is in childhood itself.

Meal-time is a very important part of our daily routine. Yet we are so casual about what it implies in terms of our overall well-being. The questions below affect your life, your emotional well-being and your relationship with the world in general. The findings would be very interesting. It would simply surprise you that they also give an insight to who you are, and what you think and worry about.

Our articles are not meant to judge, diagnose or to form opinions. Nor are they meant to advise you. They are simply to generate a higher degree of awareness for living better lives. If this article sparks your interest in your eating pattern, we request you to pursue the topic in even greater depth.


Take a few minutes and read the questions:

• Do you eat while watching television?
• Do you eat when bored?
• Do you eat when upset?
• Do you eat when lonely?
• Do you become conscious when eating in front of others?
• Do you think about the food in your refrigerator?
• Do you diet every now and then, only to return to the abandoned plan every now and then?
• Do you feel guilty of what you eat?
• Do you think of food as a means to celebrate?
• Do you eat so that something is not wasted?
• Do you eat on a full tummy just because someone has made an emotional request?
• Do you find yourself eating what you have been advised not to?
• Do you go for hours without food?
• Do you starve because you have to eat later in the day?
• Do you make endless resolutions about what not to eat?
• Do you often eat packed or re-heated food?

If your response for any of them is ‘yes’ , then it makes sense for you to read on:

Each of these questions stem from a complex psychological situation. Behind them lies a whole world. Let us discuss them in general, as a very specific discussion is beyond the present scope of the article.

1. A family which gathers around the television at mealtime is not using their precious time to bond. Instead, it is invaded by sensational news items or the daily ‘melodramatic’ offering of the television. It not only reduces the pleasure of eating, it reduces the awareness of portion consumed. An occasional meal is harmless, when the World Cup Final is being broadcast, or any other event of such novelty and magnitude. One must consciously control the practice. And sadly, it is very common.

2. Eating when bored is the most common of the eating disorders, similar to eating under stress or depression, which are comparatively more critical issues. Yet the impact is same. When we look for solace in food, we must search for what our void is. It may be beyond us to fill the void, yet it is very important to become aware about what plagues our mind and heart for which we seek comfort.

3. The greater the emotional connection to food, the greater is its ability to harm you.
Emotional distress can be comforted by emotional support, not by food. Yes, not even by that favourite bar of chocolate. It is far better to face the situation and talk to a friend than to consume the empty calories.

4. Though eating is a community activity, and food is meant to be shared, but sometimes, it becomes the only way to celebrate. Watching a film or going for a live event can be just as fun to celebrate something in our lives. The concept of sharing food is to allow us to give to those who need, and be together in the experience while being grateful to the effort which went into preparing the food. The last one is the most critical of all social learning. Hardly do people think of the one who put in the labour to put together the meal.

5. Feeling guilty of what you eat is a vicious cycle. One should be aware of what one eats and how much, while serving himself. Not afterwards. It is something similar to the way we handle our impulses, we give in, only to regret afterwards. Then there is no way to deal with the guilt other than losing our peace or punishing ourselves with the feeling of guilt.

6. Denying food is yet another dysfunctional relationship people have with their food. Long hours of starvation are harmful, and inevitably results in binging afterwards – which is even more harmful. Suppressing desire never leads to a balanced state of mind. It is another extreme we push ourselves to. Just as short breaks are important to keep our spirits high, occasional indulgence even if not recommended explicitly by your nutritionist, is not a thing to feel guilty about.

7. If you have more than three meals a week which consists of packed or reheated ready-to-eat food, or take-away meal, you must take this seriously. Everyone who must eat, must learn the basics of cooking, or at least enough to survive. Packed food is handy when you work that deadline, or maybe once in a while, but it should not be a regular item in your pantry. The added chemicals in these food items, in order to increase their shelf life and to make it readily consumable is going to do great damage. This is similar to our behavior of seeking a readymade solution for matters we have not handled responsibly while there was still time!

8. If you feel conscious to choose healthier options when dining with others, perhaps you could follow it in your private meals as well. A sudden and forced healthy food will be rather dissatisfying, while a conscious change in eating habits and life-style would be more rewarding in the long run.
To conclude, one must eat mindfully and responsibly as what we put into out body is going to decide what we get from it.
“We must take care of our body, as our body is our only place to live in!” – Jim Rohn

Listen…it brings solutions. Most often we simply do, “talk, talk and more talk.” Let there be a fair chance to the vocal chords of the other person before you give yours a chance. There is a golden saying, “Communicate long enough.” Let me add to that list, “Listen long enough too,”

Become A Good Listener.
Listening is the most important part of communication:
Listening-60%
Speaking-25%
Reading & Writing-15%

Listen without interrupting – it‘s sometimes difficult, but always rewarding.
Listen with your eyes. Look straight into the eyes of the speaker, be it a customer, an employee, a co-worker or friend. It will give you more confidence and assure the speaker you care.
The words “Listen” and “Silent” are made of same alphabets. If only we listen silently before we speak, many of the misunderstandings and tough situations can be avoided.

Yuvraj Singh is remembered as an aggressive player on thecricket field. The aggression he packed in his tall frame spoke volumes of his fighting spirit. It was this spirit that saw him through one of his worst phases in life. He hasn’t just won the battle against cancer, but is also spreading awareness about the disease. His foundation has joined hands with Colors to film a documentary about Yuvi’s fight against cancer. Though, initially reluctant to let the hospital shots be aired, the cause made him change his mind.


Excerpts from an interview…

How has life changed after cancer?
I was a happy-go-lucky guy who believed in going with the flow. I was always tense about my batting, bowling and the game. However, everything changed after I was diagnosed with cancer. It was like a setback. Now, I am happy to breathe and eat normally again. The battle has made me stronger. I’m not going to stress about my performance anymore. I don’t know how I will play, but I can assure you that I will give my 100 per cent to it.

Did you ever fear you wouldn’t be able to make it?
There were times when I feared that, especially when chemotherapy started affecting my body. But eventually, I was confident that I will overcome it.

Who strengthened you emotionally?
My mother has been a great support. She used to get food for me at the hospital. My friends didn’t pity me, they motivated me. When I was on medication though, I used to feel dejected and cry a lot.

Has it changed your approach towards cricket?
Earlier, I used to keep worrying about my performance and score card. But at the end of the day, you are neglecting your health. Sportsmen usually take their health for granted. But I don’t do that anymore. I am just happy I am living once again. It’s not easy to be in my shoes.

Please do view the clip below to get Inspired by this young cricketer who is fighting against all odds.

Question:

I run a partnership business with my very dear friend from college. We started together with great zeal and enthusiasm and over the years have scaled our business to great heights. We have weathered a number of setbacks, gone past a lot of obstacles and survived innumerable damages. We have emerged as very strong leaders.

After twelve years of stable existence and prosperity, I feel confined in the set up and want to scale some unexplored territories. I have some new ideas of my own which I want to implement. Over the years, as far as I have been able to assess my friend and partner, he has a low appetite for risk. Especially in the face of a recent unpleasant situation in the company where an old employee called it quits and caused huge damage as we banked heavily on his loyalty and dedication. Ever since, my friend has been unwilling to charter new territories. The incident haunts him. Although he understands the potential of growth in my new idea, he is unable to get over it. Because we share an amazing bond, I had high hopes from conversation with him. Yet my attempts have failed.
What perspective can I add to my idea to get my friend to understand me?

Advice:

Knowing a person very often gives us an illusion that we understand the other person. Given the fact that you are very excited and your partner is not about the new idea, you need to understand as to why he is not as excited as you are, before you can succeed in having him understand and collaborate with your intent.

In your excitement to have him listen to you, have you take the time to listen to him?

The principle of success is:

1. First Collect, then
2. Connect and
3. Finally correct.

Please understand why he is reluctant in-spite of the fact that he sees the potential of growth in your idea. Once you understand why he is reluctant, then you will be able to address those issues and gain his collaboration.

Keeping with our deep concern for children and their holistic well being, Think Nurture brings to you a very critical topic in the context children’s development. Inability to pay attention is a challenge that begins in early childhood and when goes unrecognized and unchecked continues into adulthood. It can be deemed as a common reason why many adults find themselves unable to perform to their fullest potential. For such situations the awareness of the parent plays a pivotal role in helping the child overcome these challenges.

The complete and conclusive diagnostics of ADHD requires a very comprehensive evaluation. It entails medical, educational, behavioral and psycho-social assessment of the child’s behavior. Nevertheless, there are some very clear symptoms that may alert us long before. Take a look at the list that follows. They are all common activities seen in children, but there could be something more they may be indicating.

• Compulsive running around
• Inability to wait in queue
• Restless and fidgeting
• Cannot remain seated
• Does not pay attention to details
• Makes careless mistakes when writing
• Cannot keep himself focused in a task
• Does not listen to or follow instructions
• Interrupts others
• Gets distracted easily, whether in a conversation or task
• Shirks tasks that cause mental exertion
• Keeps losing stationery items etc

Each of these symptoms is perfectly normal to observe if it occurred individually. When you observe any more than three symptoms, for a period of time, it is a sign you cannot afford to ignore. It means that there is some challenge of lowered attention span that your child is undergoing. It is common in our times due to the environment which the child receives in the earliest part of childhood, say up to two years of age. (Read: Is Television your Child’s Babysitter?).

While some signs are very obvious, studies have shown that many times, the condition may manifest itself very slowly, and therefore the indications are a lot more subtle than what is mentioned in the list. Hyperactivity is a very apparent sign, but a sign like slow maturity of the senses leading to attention deficit could go unnoticed. It is an equally probable situation that your child could be showing any of these symptoms due to some specific, sudden or short-term change in his environment. Therefore, your first hand anxious evaluation may not be correct. ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, as it is termed needs a comprehensive evaluation and requires immense support and cooperation from the parent of the affected child. The matter is worth taking notice because these apparently minor childhood hiccups are the genesis of more serious challenges like learning disabilities, language disorders, mood disorders, compulsive disorders, personality and psychotic disorders and more.

There is little one can speak of with accuracy, as to what causes such a challenge, yet some obvious ones must be addressed. Exposure to television at a very early stage is most common of all reasons. It is also the easiest to keep a tab on. Children may pose great resistance to any new rule that you may impose on television viewing. (Read: Children and TV: Limiting your child’s Screen Time). As a parent you must remain focused on your commitment to help your child and not be emotionally destabilized by the child’s responses.

The most early and information about your child, if he is showing signs of low attention would come from the school. Teachers have a great advantage of being able to observe the child for a long time – when they are working, interacting and playing too. They are able to provide a comparative and qualitative feedback on the behavior and performance of the child. If any of the symptoms are reported about your child, it is in your best interest to take it up as they inevitably are going to impact the child’s academic performance. Your awareness will allow the symptoms to improve and help manage the challenge better. Also, tutorial assistance may be required for such children which are a decision to be taken collaboratively with the teacher.

In most cases, simple steps at home could enhance the impact of the therapy and for milder afflictions, it may be sufficient to manage the situation. Here are some suggestions:

• Encourage disciplined living in your house
• Sit with your child to create a routine for him
• Stick to rules you create
• Avoid experiences like shopping, channel surfing and multi-tasking for the child
• Practice doing one activity at a time, e.g.- no eating in front of the television, no music during homework
• Reduce the options you present the child with. It will help to focus on decision-making and choosing better
• Allow rewards. Because for such children it is difficult to have them finish tasks, a reinforcement of positive effort would be effective
• Reduce household activities which distract, especially around your child’s bedtime
• Encourage the child to take part in team activities, whether social, or sports

Small consistent steps will yield result and boost your child’s development. Remember, such children are constantly battling low-esteem and dissatisfaction, your approach must compensate for that too. Parenting under such special circumstances must be defined by increased patience and compassion.

Man rebels under monotony, yet sadly enough, man cannot handle anything other than monotony! A bold statement that is. Let us ask ourselves, how do we often do we complain about status quo? All the time. How often do we challenge status quo? Well, some of the time. And how well do we adapt when status quo actually shifts? Well, let us not ask! Through this article, let us conduct an insightful enquiry into the actual relationship we have with change. The findings would be valuable for us, though it could make us face some harsh truths about our internal orientation.

Here are some very simple questions to give you a context for reflecting upon the topic:

• How dramatic has been any change in your appearance that you have undergone?
• How will you respond if the walls of your room were suddenly painted in a new colour?
• How do you respond to a sudden change in the seating arrangement at work?
• How do you respond when your spouse wants to reorient the home furniture?
• How long does it take for you to adapt to a new boss or colleague?
• How often have you heard yourself saying – “Better a known Devil”

Whether you like it or you hate it, truth be told: We are averse to change. We resist change in every way we can. We are not fashioned to welcome change. Yet, change is inevitable in life. Nothing lasts. Nothing remains the same. That does indicate therefore, that every single moment in our lives, we are dealing with an inconvenience called ‘change’ as we are ill-prepared to accept it as a way of life. It is really amazing, the reasons we have and give ourselves. While there are always few cases of exception such as unfair or unhappy, rest of the changes around us are not threatening or extreme at all. Just that they spell some amount of risk.

According to George Loewenstein, Professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University, “we humans are pathologically risk averse. A lot of mechanisms that drive us are not suited to modern life.” (Courtesy: The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success, Kevin Dutton). This excerpt from Professor Loewenstein is plain and insightful about why we face such inconvenience in our day to day activities – because every day we have to deal with some change.

A very common situation emerging from this fear of inconvenience is that people allow themselves to be trapped inside the consequences of a decision which is not yielding positive outcome. They remain for years without breaking free from it. It is a choice between two equally challenging situations. One is where a suffering ensues from a wrong decision, the other is the suffering ensuing from the fear, inability or denial to embrace change – because change is discomforting . This brings us to realize that a lot of us are actually trapped in our circumstances as we resent and resist ‘change’. And by doing that we also lose the freedom and empowerment it could bring.

It is one thing to complain about a situation, and a completely different thing to stand up to what it takes to change it. Also, one needs to be infinitely courageous in the face of pain and distress the change may bring. We can apply this in every aspect where things are not working very well for us. If it is a relationship, then it requires us to change how we are associating with the other person, or maybe our own feelings about the other. If it is about our career not working well, then perhaps we need to change the way we perform our tasks and change our approach altogether, and so on.

To conclude in the words of Gandhi ji, “Be the change that you wish to see” , one may understand and interpret thus: that desiring to see change must be emboldened by the willingness to take up a great responsibility to be beyond we have been so far. Else, it is but a distant dormant dream.

King Of Comedy – Jaspal Singh Bhatti (3 March 1955 – 25 October 2012) was an Indian television personality famous for his satirical take on the problems of the common man. He is most well known for his television series Flop Show and mini capsules Ulta Pulta and Nonsense Private Limited which ran on Doordarshan, India’s national television network, in the late 1980s and early 1990s and for Thank You Jijaji of SAB TV.

He was born in Amritsar to a Rajput Sikh family. He graduated from Punjab Engineering College, Chandigarh in Punjab, as an electrical engineer. He was very famous for his street plays like his Nonsense Club during his college days. Most of these plays were spoofs ridiculing corruption in society. Before venturing into television, he was a cartoonist for the The Tribune newspaper in Chandigarh.

A comedian par excellence! More of a Crusader than a Comedian, who through his simple, sterilized, genial and understated humour won millions of hearts throughout the nation. With so much of ease, freshness and simplicity, Bhatti’s real-life characters, caught in real-life situations, came close to every common man’s heart.

Jaspal Bhatti had the distinction of being the first one whose sitcom capsules ‘Ulta-Pulta’ became a rage among the viewers on Doordarshan. Shown as an interlude in the break during prime-time soaps, people waited for the break more than the serial! Every day it was a new situation, a new issue, but the thrust was the same, the simple and naïve common man, pitched against the crooked and corrupt system. His other sitcoms, particularly ‘Flop Show’ again dealing with diverse issues of the society, sent the message across with such polite finesse that brought smile on the faces of even those who were the target of Bhatti’s repartee.

Please view the following clips to see the comical genius of Mr. Jaspal Bhatti.

Each one of us cannot be great and do great things. However we can do the next best thing and that is to do small, small things greatly and become stress free and happier.

I get my inspiration from the wonderful saying that: if a litre of can holds a litre of oil that is wonderful! To expect it to hold a gallon is to merely become stressful. Most of us do just the opposite. We want a litre of can to hold much more than a litre. For example, we expect our child to stand first in the class and when this does not happen we get stressful. All children cannot come first.

Malia (far right) and Sasha Obama stand with their parents on stage at the end of the Democratic National Convention …The public rarely catches a glimpse of President Barack Obama’s daughters Malia, 14, and Sasha, 11. Even an appearance on stage at the end of the Democratic National Convention wasn’t reason enough to break the “you must go to school” rule; as the president promised in his speech, the girls were at their desks at Sidwell Friends School first thing in the morning. But when you’re parenting in the White House, you have to be even stricter than your average mom or dad.

How strict? The New York Times’ Jodi Kantor listed a few rules that First Lady Michelle Obama has mentioned over the years:

• The girls must write reports about what they’ve seen on their trips, even if it’s not required by their school.
• Malia may use her cellphone only on the weekends, and she and her sister cannot watch television or use a computer for anything but homework during the week.
• Malia and Sasha have to play two sports: one they choose and one selected by their mother.
• Malia must learn to do laundry before she leaves for college.
• The girls have to eat their vegetables, and if they say that they are not hungry, they cannot ask for cookies or chips later.

But the first lady doesn’t think her rules are all that harsh. “They’re not little princesses,” Mrs. Obama told in an interview last year. “It’s just basic rules, boundaries, and expectations that we would have normally.”

In general, the rules that the Obama kids must abide by are pretty straight forward. Here are a few others that the first lady shared:

They must do their chores. Though the White House has a large staff, Malia and Sasha have chores of their own. “They have to make their beds, they have to clean up their rooms,” she said last year. “They have chores to do, and they don’t get their allowance until they can prove that they’ve done their chores for the week.”

They can’t watch much TV. “We have clear rules about screen time and TV time. None during the week if it doesn’t involve schoolwork,” she said. They’re allowed some TV time on the weekends, but even then “I try to fill up their weekends with a lot of stuff so they wind up missing that, too,” Mrs. Obama confided. “It’s like, sports and games, and then, oh, it’s bedtime, so sorry you didn’t get your TV time in.”

No R-rated movies for pre-teens. While Malia, 14, has gone to a few R-rated movies (after they’ve been vetted by her parents), Sasha, 11, is not allowed to watch R-rated movies at all, and even kid-centric TV shows get monitored. “Nowadays, sometimes what’s on the kid programming, some of that teenage programming is pretty high-level stuff, too,” the first lady said. “So you find that you have to constantly just be engaged with them and hear what they’re learning and talk to them about the shows that they’re watching.”

They can only have healthy snacks. “We have fruit. We have some cereals, some crackers, nuts, dried foods that are out,” Mrs. Obama said. “We try to put out healthy snacks in clear containers, because seeing dried fruit gives the kids the idea, ‘Oh, yes, if I’m hungry I could really have this or the nuts or the soybean things.’ And my whole thing is if you’re really hungry, you can have that. If you don’t really want it, then you’re not really hungry.”

They must play a team sport. “Sports is an expectation, and we say it’s an expectation because it’s about good health,” the first lady said. “It’s about learning how to play on a team, learning how to lose, learning how to win gracefully, learning how to trash talk and not get your feelings hurt.” Individual sports are great, but “I think team sports are important particularly for girls, where they learn the camaraderie of being dependent on other people for the victory,” she said in April. “And I think my girls need to learn how to compete. Whether they choose to do it long term, I just think it’s an important opportunity for girls to have.”

Quitting is not allowed. “Kids tend to quit when it starts getting hard, which means that’s when they’re starting to learn something,” Mrs. Obama told. “And that’s the tough time to continue to make them go to that tennis lesson. Even though Malia was complaining about it, she now loves tennis. And now she’s saying, ‘Well, I’m glad you made me keep taking tennis.’

In the end, the Obamas want for their kids the same things that we want for ours: A chance for them to grow into safe, responsible, and happy people.

“They’re terrific girls. They’re poised and they’re kind and they’re curious. Like any mother, I am just hoping that I don’t mess them up,” the first lady said. “Even when times are tough, in the end you are as happy as your least happy child.”

What do you think of the Obama’s household rules? How do they compare to the rules your kids live by at your house?

Courtesy – Yahoo Inc

Are you struggling to get things done?

There is no day of the week called ‘someday’. It is either important enough to do it now or not at all. Little do we realize that unfinished work is a very heavy burden and fills our mind with sorrowful regret of under utilizing the resources at hand, especially our time and talent. We may put a task away from our desk, but it is right there, in our mind. And the bad news is that it will keep telling you that you have not been sincere to some task or assignment. Discomforting and unsettling, that this feeling is, obviously it stops us from performing at one hundred percent of our potential.

Through the following article let us look inside and find for ourselves if we are guilty of one or more of these work attitudes and take a look at how to overcome it. It is possible that one may possess a combination of traits, so it is best to examine ‘how much of you’ is caught up in which category and take action corresponding to it.

1. The free-spirited approach of avoiding stress and pain, and instead deceiving your focus. This pleasure seeker believes that he is supposed to do only those tasks which he likes. How can you reign in the free-spirit?
   • By understanding the consequences of your actions and inaction.
   • Realize that we cannot forever be in this vacation mode as well as mood.
   • Sooner or later a price too heavy will have to be paid.
   • Avoiding pains are also limiting our gains.
2. The fear of inadequacy, and fear of success as well as of failure. This is a devouring fire which burns one’s potential reminding him only of his imperfections. He fears falling short of expectations and being critically evaluated for performance. This fear of pressure makes him indecisive and defensive and he often resorts to blaming others. Evidently, it has immense negative influence on his confidence. How can you reign in this unreasonable fear?
   • Learning to let go of some of the fixed ideas about perfection, success and failure.
   • Taking responsibility of things that are going wrong, instead of finding opportunities to blame.
3. The evasive comic, who uses the stories of his procrastination for entertaining colleagues and making light of the matter. He is unsure of success and what it would be like to really accomplish goals. In this way, he lowers the expectations of others. How can you come out of the evasive mode?
   • Become accountable.
   • Confronting the fact that no one actually benefits from it when he remains in that mode.
   • Address the harm or loss faced by others as you are holding back your potential – and stand up to the responsibility.
   • Completely dissociate from every activity you do that is connected to this mode of being.
4. The compulsive helper, who seeks purpose in his life by taking care of others’ needs and ignores his own needs. It is probable he is dealing with some void in his life which he fulfills by being useful to others in order to deal with his own difficult feelings.Read: Are you a Prisoner of your Past? How can you get a hold on the compulsive helper in you?
   • Be present to your own needs.
   • Draw boundaries for helping others.Read: Are you a People Pleaser
5. The over-zealous researcher who strives to know every possible detail about every possible topic before embarking upon a task. Such overload of information prevents him from using his talents as there is little time left for it. And unfortunately, he is unable to be thorough with any one topic as he spreads himself in too many directions. How can such a researcher be more productive?
   • Accept that there can never be complete, absolute and perfect learning to begin any task.
   • Do not invalidate what you already know.
   • Question yourself -
     …why do you need so much of additional information, always?
     …have you used all the information which you have collected before?
6. The heroic worker who is sought after and much admired for resolving critical issues in the last-minute. He derives immense thrill by frantic last-minute work to meet a deadline or coming up with a genius solution and get acclaimed for the idea than deliver the solution. He secretly knows that the crisis was partly his own creation because he did not follow a disciplined timeline. How can you keep the temptation of becoming the heroic worker under check?
   • What are the other things you can do which will bring the same thrilling experience as when you become a ‘heroic worker’?
   • Look around you and examine the cost at which your need to become so is being satisfied.
   • Do you also see the benefits of giving that up?
7. The defiant worker who needs to feel in control and rebel against anyone in a position of authority. He may be guilty of purposefully putting off things to create a crisis and gain control over a situation or even people. It is quite probable a reaction to the assumption that people may not be paying him necessary attention. While he may like to command others, he would not like to be assigned tasks himself. How to take charge of the defiance you?
   • Find out what threatens you when you are asked to do a certain thing?
   • How can you look at it differently?
   • Is there any real thing that upsets you, or is it that you choose to interpret it that way?
   • Recall an experience where you delivered something against your wishes, and received appreciation and gratitude.
   • Learn to enjoy such returns, and find ways to be useful.
8. The procrastination addict who are not even aware to the fact that they are doing it. They are not deliberate, but they are compulsively doing it. He is guilty of squandering time in unproductive activities.Read: Is Social Networking consuming your precious time? He has this unproven principle that he can only work well under pressure. How to confront your inner procrastination addict?
   • What about the ‘pressure’ thrills you?
   • Recall a time when you worked peacefully at a steady pace. What was the quality of your work?
   • Is the ‘pressure’ a notion then?
   • What new element in the work can give you the thrill which will sustain your interest?
   • How will your de-addiction help others?

The heavy price we pay for such attitude to our work is not always visible, yet it may have great impact on your overall performance. It certainly lowers the self-esteem to begin with, as one is aware of his lowered productivity in spite of the show he may put up outwardly. Such people are unable to tolerate disappointments and frustrations since all of it is being used up by the inner defiance and addiction like we discussed. We can deduce, as a natural progression to the situation, that he would lack knowledge and skills because every excuse is to cover up for some inadequacy. He would have a difficult time managing himself and things, as well as organizing them. Such a role would cause great distress on him. Over time it is likely for such people to develop serious physical or psychological challenges.

Identify your challenges and follow the easy steps to regulate yourself. Take control of your work attitude before it controls you!

Question:

I am leading a team of 8 people. They are exceedingly talented and competent. Their productivity is beyond question. Yet, as a leader, I notice a lot of scope to improve their attitude and overall approach toward work and people. There have been plenty of ideas which have been implemented in the team for the same end. But I feel, people do not get inspired enough to become accountable for these activities and sustaining the changes on their own. Gradually, it all fizzles out. People are back to their ways – which are not empowering for them as well. When I speak to them individually, they express guilt and concern, yet, as a team do not live up to them. I am concerned about what holds them back. How do I step forward as their leader, and truly inspire them so that everyone lives and works with their fullest ability?

Advice:

As a leader, there are two things you can do, either create a heightened sense of desperation in the team, so they realize that the very survival is at stake, or inspire them and make them realize that together they will achieve more. The movie Chak de, starring Shah Rukh Khan is great movie to see, where Shah Rukh as a coach comes down very hard on them by cracking a whip to put individual egos in place. American movie Coach Carter, starring Samuel l. Jackson as coach Ken Carter is a great movie, based on a true story, a must watch for any leader.

A softer approach, and more engaging will be to inspire the individuals, so they realize the power of interdependence. It will be great to take the team for an outbound experience, where they do activities in which interdependence is crucial. The activities can be so designed to put colleagues with some ego issues to do the interdependence task together, and very often the experience builds bonds which they will carry to the work place.

As a leader, coaching the team members to be more sensitive, so they do the right things, and at the same time be more sensible to handle the occasional mistakes their colleagues may commit will go a long way in bringing about a lot of vibrancy.

When individuals and teams perform badly, they will feel bad, when they perform well, they feel good, and when they perform great, they feel great. Winning teams get along well with each other. When teams perform poorly, to overcome the feeling of feeling bad, members indulge in “vicarious pleasures” like back biting, gossiping, politics, one upmanship, commenting.

Regular meetings which focus the individuals on target lines, and how to achieve the performance metrics is also very essential, for teams that perform well, and get along well.

The only reason Cantor Fitzgerald’s chief executive Howard W. Lutnick didn’t perish during the September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center is thanks to his young son. That Tuesday morning happened to be the day his five-year-old son started kindergarten.

Lutnick was in his son’s classroom when he first heard news of the attacks that would forever change his life and his firm.

Cantor Fitzgerald occupied the 101st to the 105th floors of One World Trade Center — just above the impact zone of the hijacked plane.

Cantor Fitzgerald suffered the greatest loss of life of any company. The firm lost 658 of its 960 employees, almost two-thirds of its workforce.

What’s even more heartbreaking, Cantor Fitzgerald had a policy of hiring relatives, so those who lost someone at the firm likely lost more than one loved one.

Lutnick lost his brother.

Because the attacks had devastated Cantor Fitzgerald so badly, the firm was not expected to survive. Remarkably, within a week the firm managed to get its trading back online.

And Lutnick made a commitment to keep Cantor Fitzgerald going, despite the odds and the difficult choices that had to be made.

He gave the victim’s families 25% of the firm’s profits for five years, and 10 years of health insurance.

He’s been trying to fulfill his vow to keep the firm alive for the last decade.

Cantor Fitzgerald certainly suffered a tremendous loss, but it might also be one of the greatest comeback stories on Wall Street.

Today, Cantor Fitzgerald, located uptown from Ground Zero, is thriving, with 1,700 employees, 700 more than it had a decade ago. 20 children of the people who died are working with them .

The firm has donated more than $180 million to families of victims. Cantor’s success has enabled Mr. Lutnick to honour his pledge to the families of those who were killed. Over the five years, each family got roughly $175,000. Many are still getting health insurance.

Then on September 12th – usually on September 11th, if it’s a business day – the company holds charity day. They donate, not all profits, but all revenues that they do. Every penny of revenue that the company does around the world globally is donated to charities. They have about 75 charities. And all of their employees give up their pay for that day. Last year, they did $12 million.

Please click on the link below to view the inspiring story of Cantor Fitzgerald.

Do not fall in love with your company. Behave as if you can be fired any day because you can “fire” the company any day. It is reciprocal arrangement. What to do? Start preparing your safety net to reduce your future stresses. How?

Ensure you are seen in your industry. Your competitors of today may be your bosses of tomorrow! Don’t forget that anyone can be nice to a king, but a man of focus is nice to a king, but a man of focus is nice to even a waiter.

When I retired, I got a good advice: start your own enterprise so that you won’t have to retire again! It has worked very well in my case. Fortunately I had focused on writing management articles and conducting attitudinal seminars. Think through your life, your circumstances and environment.

Question:

I lead the creative department of an advertising company. Three months ago, when a junior team member approached me with his assignment, I was already deeply involved in an urgent deliverable at my end. I refused flatly, not even allowing him to explain the help he needed from me. Turns out that the project was extremely critical and his under-performance got highlighted as his deliverable fell short of client expectations. A lot of time and resource had been spent to build the relationship with the client. The client was lost. This young man’s creative tenure at our firm ended as he quit, and he left without a word to anyone. His talent was lost.

Ever after he left, I have been thinking of how to ‘make-up’. The person who I harmed to this extent that there was no choice for him but to call it quits, how do I explain myself to him? I was so absorbed in my own responsibilities that I was unwilling to share my experience, let alone stretch myself a little. I could not imagine the disproportionate impact of a seemingly small act of mine. As I look back I feel helpless and guilty. What can I do now?


Advice:
There are multiple things to learn. First, the young person will move on and hopefully learn to express himself better the next time around he needs help. You will learn how to be more aware of what happening in the firm, so you will not make an error in judgement next time. Make a resolution to win the lost client, or do what you can to get another client. Channelize the energy that is wasted feeling guilty into increasing your learning, and earnings of your firm.

The good thing is you did not ignore him out of malice. In life two things build a person, a tormentor and a mentor. A tormentor could be another person doing something wrong that effects you or you committing mistakes, that effects you or others. A mentor helps you to overcome the torments, be it from you or others.

Another crucial learning is, if you are in a “desperate” situation, ask, ask, ask for help till you get it.

Gandhiji’s autobiography, “My experiments with truth” is a chronicle of how he attained personal growth. He candidly writes about his shortcomings and mistakes. Nelson Mandela in an amazing interview with Oprah Winfrey, mentions that there was a time when he hated white minority, but over the years he realized that hating will not resolve the issue, and it would engulf his country into rivers of blood, so he made his head dominate his heart.

In life, mistakes need not be taken to the heart, and success need not be taken to the head.

We invite you to https://www.facebook.com/successcorners , it will keep sowing seeds of positive thinking and be like your friendly guide when you face challenges.

Create certain goals and commit to them, please remember, empty mind is a devils workshop.

Read the book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman over the weekend, especially the part that covers Social Skills, it will give you lots of insight as to how to improve your interpersonal skills.

You sit down to work with immense resolve, of completing the long list of pending work. Just before you begin, there is this tiny voice in your head which asks you to take a quick peek into your social networking page. Before you realize, a sizeable chunk of your work time just flies! And you don’t even realize. This is a recent complaint, but it is a chronic one already. No matter how much you try, you tend to lose track of time when logged into your virtual world.

What is going wrong?

Something surely is going wrong, because we feel guilty and displeased as an aftertaste at least with our usage of time among other things.

Your contacts are not your friends, let us face that first. It is our ‘cover-up’ for filling up the growing void in our real lives. No matter how popular and amiable you are, it is improbable and impossible for any normal person to have in excess of hundred friends. We do not have time for our dear ones, yet we have a friend and following list running into hundreds. Clearly, there is an imbalance here.

Call it whatever name, but what you see is a façade and not the real thing – everyone is not having the time of their life while you carry on with your mundane routine. It is just an ordinary matter and no coincidence that people will post pictures of happy moments and events where they are dressed up in their best. What you end up seeing is their chosen best of their holidays and occasions. Yet what it manages to do to you is that you think it is their actual and normal state of being! A lot of people do acknowledge that social networking is fanning jealousies and giving birth to more gossip than goodness.

The lines that you read and are just about regard as the finest wisdom from your friend – is either quite banal, or lifted from somewhere. While you may find answers to the problems of your real life in the virtual world, the virtual world actually has real problems. Since there is no one to actually moderate or edit what people post, there is rampant plagiarism and sadly a great deal of unattributed wisdom. You would agree, it is unfair and perhaps can, at your own level discontinue being party to it.

Should you ‘pull the plug’?

Indeed, a lot of people are jubilant in having exercised that option, and an equal number are contemplating it as well! We are not suggesting that though, nevertheless we would like to spread the awareness about the idea of ‘de-selecting’ some of the things which are not creating a positive impact on you.

Maybe a friendly group is turning into an idle gossip zone, or a cynical and avenging towards a common ex-employer, or an overly-sentimental alumni group, or a completely mischievous peer group which consumes your constructive energy. You can identify your own ‘time-thief’. On the surface, there is no malice or mal-intent. It is just that such activities, under the garb of being entertaining are actually draining you. To top that up, it is addictive.

Be aware of what you share and with whom. And yes, it is always better, and also advisable to err on the side of caution. So, limit what you share. Review your privacy settings. Ask the actual close friends who are on your list, if they notice anything amiss on your page, and even in your interactions. It will surely have caught their eye, even though if they have not mentioned it.

Take notice and think:

Are you really interested in candle-making as a hobby or just because your friend is, that you end up spending so many hours first looking at his actual work and then feel compelled to oblige with comments. It is far better to join friends whose hobbies and interests you personally share.

Remember, people change with time. The high school friend who was all so meticulous and you envied his grades, may have himself fallen prey to limiting habits. Being careful is always advisable.

If you notice people venting out private grudges in public, you can imagine their trustworthiness when it will come to your confidential matters that they may be privy to.

Do you find yourself seeing approval in the form of comments? Are you getting dependent upon the seemingly sincere comments, of course it is very difficult to tell which ones are not, but you surely know!

If you find something too good to be true, trust your own judgment. Maybe, it isn’t true indeed. Just the same, steer away from narcissistic and self-centred contacts.

A final word here:
Who you choose to be with today, and what you choose to do today will shape your tomorrow – choose wisely.

Why do children take over a whole new uncontrollable act when guests come over? There must be plenty of instances in your mind, where you were saying silent prayers that our children should ‘behave’ themselves in front of your guest! It is not a very big matter, yet it is a small reflection of a big matter. Perhaps if we addressed that, we would have dealt with some real concerns about how well we are bringing up our children. We can explore and understand with some questions:

Are you controlling too much?
The best time for children to get back at their parents for tightening the controls too much is when the parents are vulnerable themselves! That is when guests are around. Parents naturally focus on ‘when’ the incident takes place, and try to deal with that. Whereas, they must think deeper – on ‘why’. Check your behavior with your children. Is there something you are being unnecessarily strict about? You can solve it through dialogue, and relieve yourself of the anxiety around guests and visitors. It will free you from the fear of being ‘exposed’ and you will enjoy the company of your children around your guests.

Does your child have some need which you have not addressed?

Why children want to get back at us is because they are feeling suppressed and resentful about something they are receiving or not receiving from us. It could be just about anything – for example, when children are not allowed to express themselves, their need for expression will not go away. It will find a more convenient time and environment to take over. They shall be ever searching for a patient ear, and who could be better than a polite, willing and captive audience like a guest!

When your child behaves unreasonably in front of a guest, there is something more he is expressing. Try to get to that. Either you have not been patient with them, or listened to them. Or it could be, you totally forgot them while putting together the evening where you have invited your guest. Children, when they feel left out, will want to get your time and attention.

Can you include your child into being a host?

This is age old wisdom, that when you entrust responsibility to your children, they will do their best to live up to the honour. Give children clear duties to perform when the guests are around.

Simple things like:

• answering the door bell
• offering them a seat
• offering water, tissue, towel etc
• adjusting the fan, window, temperature of the air-conditioner/room heater according to the guests comfort
• asking if the volume of music or television that is playing in the background is okay
• generally enquiring if there is something they need
• be available to clean any spillage
• offer to dispose wrappers etc. instead of the guest having to do it
• assist in laying the table
• provide additional cutlery when needed
• discretely put back things in its place if it is coming in the way of the guest



In spite of your best efforts, when a situation does arise where your child is behaving unreasonably, give it attention first. Children can’t wait. Everyone understands that, and you have no reason to feel embarrassed. Attend to them instead of ignoring them or giving ‘nasty’ stares.


It would be incomplete without adding a little about teaching your child to receive the guest.
We have been teaching our children to say ‘Hello’, ‘Namaste’, ‘Good morning’, ‘Good evening’ etc. We must, now, teach how to greet. To greet is to feel a genuine happiness when someone arrives, and to be with him and bring him in. Inside your heart as much as your house. You must feel grateful to someone for choosing to visit you, for willing to spend their precious time with you. Teach that to your child. And if that foundation was laid well, then an occasional little racket from your child is bearable for your guest too. It puts you at ease, as you are with the guest as though they were one with the family.

Wishing you joy and fulfillment!

]]> http://thinklink.in/teach-your-child-to-become-a-good-host/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/learn-to-make-forgiveness-your-permanent-attitude/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=learn-to-make-forgiveness-your-permanent-attitude http://thinklink.in/learn-to-make-forgiveness-your-permanent-attitude/#comments Tue, 04 Sep 2012 11:39:18 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=7108




I am a selfish person in that way, I always want to be very happy and less stressful. With this as my stated goal, I practice forgive and forget. It is a slow process. An eye for an eye sounds good, but it leaves everybody blind! Is it worth it? One can use judgment after thinking. One has to forget it too. A retentive memory is good, but to forget is also very good.

Revenge, in some cases, may be necessary but it should be taken in the rarest of rare cases. One has to see the intention behind the act. Revenge is like biting a dog because the dog bit you. You should not forget it, only to ensure that you are not bitten again; but instead of biting back, learn from the incident.

]]> http://thinklink.in/learn-to-make-forgiveness-your-permanent-attitude/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/j-k-rowling/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=j-k-rowling http://thinklink.in/j-k-rowling/#comments Mon, 03 Sep 2012 05:19:51 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=7117



Joanne Kathleen Rowling was born in Chipping Sodbury, England in 1965. She began writing at the age of 6 with a story called ‘Rabbit’, which she never finished.In high school her favorite subject was English. From High School, Rowling went to Exeter University where she earned a degree in French.

After graduating, she spent a year studying in Paris and then went back to London where she worked in a number of jobs, including a year with Amnesty International and a short time as secretary for a publishing company, where she was responsible for sending out rejection slips.

In the summer of 1990, on a delayed train from Manchester to London, she came up with the idea of a boy who discovers he is a wizard. But it would be 7 years before the idea became a book. In that same year her mother died of Multiple Sclerosis and she left for Portugal to teach English, hoping to find a way to deal with her grief.

In October 1992 she married a Portuguese television journalist, Jorge Arantes. But the marriage lasted just eleven months.In 1993 she left her husband and returned to England, with the one legacy of her failed marriage – an infant daughter named Jessica.

Her life suddenly took a nose-dive. Fighting poverty and depression, she lived in a mice-infested flat in Edinburgh and struggled to raise her baby daughter on a welfare check of 70 pounds ($100) a week. Unable to heat her flat, she sat in cafés nursing an espresso for 2 hours at a time and worked feverishly on the manuscript of ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ while her baby daughter slept in a pram.

The manuscript is said to have been rejected by three British publishers – Penguin, Transworld and HarperCollins. But Bloomsbury Children’s Books did sign her up, reportedly paying £10,000 ($14,300) for the rights to ‘Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone’.

The Philosopher’s Stone was published on 30 June, 1997 and was an instant success. The book was published under her initials because her publisher feared that boys would be less likely to read the book if they knew it was written by a woman.

The sequel – ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’ – was published in June of 1999 and later that same year, the third book in the series was released, ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’.

By the time her fourth book appeared in 2000 – ‘Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire’ – the series had become an international phenomenon: the initial print run for her 4th book was 1.5 million copies in the UK and 3.8 million in the US.

With the release of the first Harry Potter film, J.K. Rowling’s total earnings are estimated to have exceeded $100 million.

In March 2001 she was awarded an OBE (Order of the British Empire) by the Queen, for services to children’s literature.

“Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you’ve lived so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all. In which case, you fail by default.”
– J.K.Rowling



Check the commencement speech given by her at Harvard to get inspired by her thoughts in words.



]]> http://thinklink.in/j-k-rowling/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/resolve-conflict-without-contest/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=resolve-conflict-without-contest http://thinklink.in/resolve-conflict-without-contest/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2012 06:03:31 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=7027

Question:

I am working in a reputed IT company in a team of 9 people. Our project and our job require sharing of information, completely and accurately. I am facing a situation where my work and self-esteem is being affected.
Few months back I had a major disagreement with three of my colleagues. As a result I began keeping distance. This lasted for a while till I realized that there was a great negative impact of the situation on the project. I started to make efforts to reconcile even though it was not entirely my mistake which brought about the whole situation. I would walk up and be nice, exchange a casual note, try to participate in the conversation. But since it was one person trying to make up with three, I would constantly see a lack of interest from their side. I started to feel more and more left out. Now the situation is not hostile anymore, but more of non-cooperative and unsupportive. What has affected me the most is that when any information has to be shared, I do so regardless of my personal reservations with the teammate. However when it comes to accessing information from others, they clearly withhold it, as a passive extension of the disagreement. I am clueless of what is going on, and very troubled about what it will lead to. I like my job and I want to work in the team, the team that we had.



Advice:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood, the fifth habit of late Steven R. Covey. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Resolve the conflict, and don’t turn it into a contest. It is very good that you are sharing information from your side, even though your colleagues are not very forthcoming, in time if you maintain your intent to make up, things will improve.

Introspection at this time will greatly help. One should be honest and appear to be honest too. Very often we unintentionally end up creating conflicts. Seek feedback from your colleagues, maybe you may have made them feel insecure, and they have banded up together. If that is the case, regulate your arrogance and if you feel that it is they who are being arrogant, individually and collectively towards you, regulate your insecurities.

Please remember, life is a marathon, not a hundred meter race. In the meantime, improve your habits at work, especially become focused on health, keep away from too much caffeine or carbonated drinks, control your snacking tendencies. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, and become more organized.

Maintain good working habits, that is:

• be punctual
• fulfil your work commitments
• be polite to your colleagues, the ones with whom you have a challenge and with others
• Tag the thoughts that make you feel insecure, and every time you begin to feel upset, look at a powerful thought that will uplift you

We invite you to https://www.facebook.com/successcorners , it will keep sowing seeds of positive thinking and be like your friendly guide when you face challenges.

Create certain goals and commit to them, please remember, empty mind is a devils workshop.

Read the book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman over the weekend, especially the part that covers Social Skills, it will give you lots of insight as to how to improve your interpersonal skills.

]]> http://thinklink.in/resolve-conflict-without-contest/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/mary-kom/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mary-kom http://thinklink.in/mary-kom/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2012 06:01:42 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6973

Mary Kom is the first woman boxer from India to have won Five World Titles consecutively. She has more than three Asian titles and eleven National titles under her belt.

She is a recipient of the Arjuna Award, the Padma Shri Award, the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna Award and a special award from AIBA. A mother of twin sons, a caring wife, her achievements are a great inspiration. A pocket size power house of energy, people call her the “Magnificent Mary”.

Mary Kom was born on 1st March 1983 and was brought up in a poor family. It is impossible to imagine that Mary Kom would one day rise and become a World Boxing Champion.

Her family background speaks a lot of how Mary overcame hardship and inconveniences and created a name for herself in the arena of world boxing. Her parents earned their livelihood by working and being engaged in others jhum fields. Being the eldest, Mary helped her parents work in the fields, cutting woods, making charcoal and fishing. On the other hand, she spent a good time looking after her two younger sisters and a brother.

Mary Kom was interested in sports since her childhood. She took a keen interest in Athletics, Mary thought that she would become a good athlete one day and carve a name for herself in the discipline.

But fate decided otherwise. After completing her class VIII, Mary came to Imphal and continued her studies at Adimjati School. Being so fond of sports, she enquired around and found out about women boxing.

It was a new idea since women boxers were relatively unknown those days. The rise of Dingko Singh and the demonstration of women boxers at the 5th National Games (Manipur) inspired her.

Mary Kom decided to hang up her books and enter into the ring with determination and strong will. To pursue her dream of becoming a world class pugilist, she joined Sports Authority of India, and underwent an intensive training from coach and mentor, Shri. Ibomcha Singh.

Seeing Mary’s potential and determination, Manipur State coaches Shri. Narjit Singh and Shri. Kishan Singh decided to take her under their wings. Mary was taught finer details and absorbed it all.

Sports are not everything for Mary. In her spare time, she takes pain to attend functions and mingle with the people. The ever-smiling and ready-to-help Mary Kom always encourages young people to chase their dreams and have faith in God.

Mary married K.Onler Kom of Samulamlan Block whom she met in Delhi. Onler proved to be a guide, a friend and a philosopher for Mary.

Mary’s humble beginning from Kangathei and her fame through continents of the world is a mere fairy tale. However, it was Mary’s grit determination and Never-Say-Die attitude with which she was able to earn laurels far away from her village. Mary Kom’s belief in God and herself was what made all the difference.

Today, the farmer’s daughter stands as a shining example of “Mission (almost) Accomplished”. Her most awaited Gold-medal will be at the London 2012 Olympics.

To view the inspiration of Mary Kom. Please view the links given below.




]]> http://thinklink.in/mary-kom/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-people-pleaser/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=are-you-a-people-pleaser http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-people-pleaser/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2012 05:59:16 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6996

Think of all the things you do in your day. Think again. How many of them would you still do, if you were not concerned that it may upset someone, or because you are expected to do, or because you have always done it for them? If you choose any of the three reasons, look closely into the motive and purpose behind your actions. You may not have realized that this is causing you great harm within. When your actions are based on making things right for others all the time, you put yourself at risk of being wronged at your own hands. Either you would be pressed for time to do your own thing, or you might be feeling insufficiently acknowledged among other disheartening experiences resulting from such actions. The danger behind this style you choose is actually quite grave.



Why would you feel compelled to do things which actually inconvenience you?

The answer is rooted deeply into some emotional truths you need to confront. Simply put, you would accept to take such actions when you base your self-worth largely on approval, and fear upsetting others, regardless of the right judgment you would have. It is based on your insecurity about the consequences of not pleasing others. By that you grossly devalue yourself, your time and abilities. They get spent in matters which are not your focus. Instead of satisfaction you feel anxious, since your actions were not from the true feeling of compassion, but an insecurity of rejection and disapproval. One small good deed for another is sufficient to give you a boost. On the contrary, a pretended generosity and favour has no sweet after taste.

The pay-offs are very flimsy and not really worth it if you come to think of it. Surely, those who are able to please others are popular. People like to have them around. They have many friends who look upon them for assistance. Below the surface though, let us face an inconvenient truth that, pleasing people is not the path that leads to their hearts. It is barter actually, and sooner or later, it ceases to be a favourable one. You are aware of the enormous cost you bear for remaining popular, and therefore, you possibly don’t truly enjoy it.

As a result, you feel fatigue. Both, physical, as your energy is surely expended, as well as emotional because, in reality your actions are not fetching a wholesome positive momentum for you in that relationship. Rather, it is putting stress on you and distressing you!

Deep within, people who find themselves caught up with this self-created reputation want to break free but they wonder if it is too late to start, or have too little to lose anyway as they have spent nearly everything in this hollow pursuit.



Here are some simple steps for you:

• Begin by acknowledging your strengths; it will free you from seeking approval. Build your self-esteem
• As a parallel activity, put an end to unnecessary criticism of the self.
• In situations where your needs as an individual are not being met, simply step out.
• Don’t seek praise and recognition in every action. When you do so, you start making room for people-pleasing in order to get a steady supply of the praise and appreciation.
• Don’t make excuses when you need to look into your own need, or feel embarrassed about it.
• Don’t feel stressed to manage your reputation all the time.




As it is commonly said, those who matter will not mind, and those you mind will not matter.

• Become assertive, say no. That alone will pull you out of this habit.
• Confront your deepest fear which sets you in the ‘people-pleasing’ mode.
• Reduce multi-tasking consciously. Since some people can do multiple activities in parallel, they end up trying to do too much for others, unnecessarily.
• Ask for favours yourself. This will help you recognize which are the people you can bank upon. It is always better to help where you are valued, and not help to be valued by them.





Photo Courtesy – quickmeme.com

]]> http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-people-pleaser/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/education-in-the-vision-of-swami-vivekananda/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=education-in-the-vision-of-swami-vivekananda http://thinklink.in/education-in-the-vision-of-swami-vivekananda/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2012 05:57:10 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=7015

The topmost concern of every parent today happens to be their child’s education. All decisions of their lives are practically based on whether it would fetch their child better education, or sustain an existing good system that they attend at present. They sincerely, leave no stone unturned when it is about utilizing their resources, finding more and even more ways to make it comfortable for the child to carry on with their studies. A common thing parents carry in their mind is a sense of void which they felt in their childhood, and thus fiercely dedicate themselves to not let their child face similar situations.

The question however remains unanswered in the mind of every parent, is providing, participating, monitoring enough? Well, it is surely much more than enough when you are concerned about a particular level your child must achieve academically. Sadly, that has no connection with education. Education is not about academic success or brilliance. Nor is it about intelligence and smartness. It is an undefined entity yet, which we all are striving to provide to the child, believing that we know what it is!



Here is an interesting perspective of what education is, and what it is not, in the vision of Swami Vivekananda.



What is Education?

• Education is the manifestation of the perfection already in man.
• The training by which the current and expression of will is brought under control and become fruitful is called education.
• [Education] may be described as a development of faculty, not an accumulation of words, or, as a training of individuals to will rightly and efficiently.
• Real education is that which enables one to stand on his own legs.
• If you have assimilated five ideas and made them your life and character, you have more education than any man who has got by heart a whole library.
• We must have life building, man making, and character making assimilation of ideas.

What Education is not?

• Is it book-learning? No. Is it diverse knowledge? Not even that..
• [Education is] not an accumulation of words….
• [Education is] not the collecting of facts…
• Education is not the amount of information that is put into your brain and runs riot there, undigested all your life.
• If education were identical with information, the libraries would be the greatest sages in the world and encyclopedias would be the Rishis.
• Education is not filling the mind with a lot of facts.
• …is that education as a result of which the will, being continuously choked by force through generations, is now well-nigh killed out; is that education under whose sway even the old ideas, let alone the new ones are disappearing one by one; is that education which is slowly making man a machine?
• The education which does not help the common mass of people to equip themselves for the struggle of life, which does not bring out the strength of character, a spirit of philanthropy, and the courage of a lion — is it worth the name?
• Well, you consider a man as educated if only he can pass some examinations and deliver good lectures…
• The present system of education is all wrong. The mind is crammed with facts before it knows how to think. Control of the mind should be taught first.
• The education that you are receiving now in schools and colleges is only making you a race of dyspeptics. You are working like machines merely, and living a jelly-fish existence.

Think Link expresses deep gratitude to “greenmesg.org.” Below is the link to the original piece which has inspired us:

http://greenmesg.org/swami_vivekananda_sayings_quotes/education-what_is_education.php

]]> http://thinklink.in/education-in-the-vision-of-swami-vivekananda/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/we-are-arjunas-sometimes-therefore-nurture-your-lord-krishnas/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=we-are-arjunas-sometimes-therefore-nurture-your-lord-krishnas http://thinklink.in/we-are-arjunas-sometimes-therefore-nurture-your-lord-krishnas/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2012 05:50:06 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6964

In real life, we all are like Arjuna confused, stressful and jittery, we do not think through most of the self-created muddles we get into. Arjuna was confused. He was a professional warrior but still his thinking was blurred. His kingdom had been taken away, his wife insulted and humiliated, his wealth squandered away in gambling. Even on the battle-field, he was not sure whether to fight or not to fight his relatives, his gurus, and his friends.

However, he had done one good thing in his life and that was to nurture his friends. One such friend in the form of Lord Krishna came to his rescue at the eleventh hour and cleared his muddled thinking and then our poor Arjuna went on to create history. As a habit, I try to learn from history; as a matter of fact, I learn from everyone and from historical events. Years ago, I started nurturing my Lord Krishnas – in modern times; they are termed consultants and advisors.

]]> http://thinklink.in/we-are-arjunas-sometimes-therefore-nurture-your-lord-krishnas/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/pain-is-inevitable-but-suffering-is-optional/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=pain-is-inevitable-but-suffering-is-optional http://thinklink.in/pain-is-inevitable-but-suffering-is-optional/#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2012 10:12:04 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6878



Question:

I am new to the organization I work for, joined 2 months ago. My boss is a director and I am working directly under him. There are no intermediate managers. My challenge is that whenever I need to consult him or take help about something, I am unable to find a proper answer. Instead, I am threateningly spoken to. He either says that I am supposed to know it, or I have been informed about it earlier, still worse that I am wasting his time. I began keeping a very detailed record of all information received so that I can reduce my interactions where I seek help or information. Obviously, I cannot do without speaking to him. I am feeling scared by his ever so irritable mood and bullying behaviour. He looks at me in extreme frustration as though I am a bad hire. I am really afraid to speak to my boss. This is lowering my confidence because I feel incapable as well as intimidated. It is making it very hard for me to work with him.



Advice:

The chances are very high, that the director is not ill tempered with you alone but with others also. Presuming that your director is generally ill tempered,( in case if he is ill tempered with you only, the situation can be remedied much faster, as you can identify what you could do to improve the relationship.) take it as a learning phase in your life, on how to deal with ill tempered people.



There is a story which I heard from my father, Dr. Promod K. Batra:



Once a son and his father boarded a bus. As the father approached the bus conductor, who was visibly rude to passengers, the conductor snapped at the father. The father requested the conductor to speak in a more pleasant tone. The conductor, instead of sobering down, became more and more aggravated, and through out the 20 minute journey in the bus, he kept on jabbing at the father. Even when the father and son got off the bus, the conductor stuck his head out and kept on hurling snide remarks at the father as they were walking away. The son asked the father, why he didn’t talk back to the conductor? The father replied, “perhaps the conductor is always rude and disturbed, and if he could take the burden for so long, I am strong to take it for the brief time.”



Take on the challenge to influence your director. Before you engage with him remind yourself and prepare yourself. Always remember, it is not you in person that he is shouting at, but it is his nature.



Make sure that you carry your note pad whenever you enter his office, and as he is giving you instruction, start writing down the instructions on the note pad. There is a greater probability that if you wrote down what he had to say, he would feel more assured that you would be doing it the right way.



In case he starts snapping, reduce your eye contact, sit erect, and relaxed and ensure that you take deep breaths – it will calm you down.



On occasions, when he does interact in a calm manner, always reward his behaviour with a smile and a warm thank you. Naturally, he will start wanting more of the positive strokes and may alter his behaviour.



Please remember the words of Masushita Konosuke, founder of Panasonic, “any experience which does not kill you makes you stronger”, provided you learn from it.



There is a saying that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Choose to convert the energy of pain into gain, by building up your patience.

]]> http://thinklink.in/pain-is-inevitable-but-suffering-is-optional/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/is-television-your-childs-babysitter/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-television-your-childs-babysitter http://thinklink.in/is-television-your-childs-babysitter/#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2012 10:09:34 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6835

Recent studies on the role of media in the lives of families reveal that television plays a central part. The total hours of viewing television have also increased manifold over the last two decades. The shocking fact is that parents themselves allow the television to play on and on, virtually making it their child’s babysitter! There may be a situation where parents are guilty for allowing it themselves, yet there may be a situation where parents are not directly responsible and worse still, unaware.

The impact of unregulated and indiscriminate viewing of television is immediate on the child, even though it may take a while for the parent to detect. Such is its ability to influence the young mind, that undoing is really an enormous task.



What is causing it?

• Many homes have a separate television in the child’s room. In such cases, keeping a tab on viewing hours is next to impossible.
• Parents are clueless of how to entertain when their child feels bored. They are tempted with the easy solution of putting on the TV. Read more on 5 Activities For Spending Quality Time With Your Child, Motivating your child to Read
• A large number of parents are themselves watching TV for long hours. TV viewing is perhaps all they do when at home or back from work. Read more on Positive Parenting
• There are so many channels airing TV programmes for children dedicatedly that there is something of your child’s interest always playing on one of the channels.
• Another possible reason is, children who are shy and cannot connect easily with other make friends with the television.




How can you understand if your child is watching too much television?

• The most obvious sign is that the child will like to be left in front of the TV with little or no concern about what is around him.
• He will do his daily chores like polishing shoes arranging his books etc, while in front of the TV. He may refuse to have dinner anywhere else but only when seated in front of the TV.
• Watch his language. No matter how well a programme is created, the dialogues for children are written by adults. Hence there is a fair number of crisp and curt phrases used in the children’s programmes as well. Read more on 5 Ways to deal with children using abusive language
• Sudden irritability in your child’s behaviour may be attributed to the extra hours in front of the television. At times it is in response to those moments when he is compelled to do other things like homework and chores. While at other times, it is due to the cloud of thoughts in his mind which he is trying to process as there is just too much information bombarded on the child by the TV. Read more on does your child have a bad temper?
• Your child begins to ask for strange things and food or beverage which you have not heard about. Because along with the programme, your child is watching the commercials being aired too.




How can you help your child?


• First, watch your own viewing pattern and cut it down if necessary. The best way to teach your child is by setting an example.
• Never discuss television programmes yourself with friends and guests as well.
• Stipulate duration of viewing each week and teach the child to prioritize and make a schedule of the programmes he would like to view. This way, you allow the child to compensate as well in case on any day he is watching for an extra hour.
• Don’t become too harsh, because some visual stimulus is beneficial for the child. Rather teach him to select informative programmes. Whenever possible watch such programmes together with your child.
• Make dinner a mandatory family time for everyone. It is a good way to teach the value of being together and bonding as a family.
• Actively cultivate your child’s hobbies, or enroll him in hobby classes. Read more on why is it important to have a hobby?
• Invite your child’s friends for play dates and other fun activities. This will help your child to discover the joy of making friends and it would surely give new things to think about.




Any measure which you take to modify or correct your child’s behaviour must be implemented consistently. It is better to proceed slowly than having to step back. At each step ensure your child’s acceptance and readiness for change. That would make your effort successful.



Also read:

Children and TV: Limiting your child’s screen time

]]> http://thinklink.in/is-television-your-childs-babysitter/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-prisoner-of-your-past/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=are-you-a-prisoner-of-your-past http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-prisoner-of-your-past/#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2012 10:07:08 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6859

Do you feel hounded by memories of the past, especially unpleasant and inconvenient ones? Do these memories limit you from utilizing your full abilities? Are you usually skeptical in the way you view the present and what lies ahead? Probably then, you are enchained by your past. What poses a challenge for you therefore is to first understand why you feel so, and work towards coming out of the feeling.

Although the human mind functions seamlessly, switching from recall to futuristic visualization mode with no conscious effort from you, but it does require you to consciously train your mind to view the present objectively, and the future optimistically. We must not live life by limiting memories, but through inspiration around us which life gives us everyday.



Why do people feel captured by their past:



Holding on to bad experience
The most important reason why people do not live with complete freedom and vigour is because they cannot put an unpleasant experience of the past behind them. Holding on to bad memories is like re-living the unpleasant negative moment many times over. When you keep reminding yourself of the injury, you are actually disrupting the natural process of healing. If you have learnt the lesson from the experience, you must be ready to move on and let the past remain in the past.



Experiencing guilt unnecessarily
Whatever took place in the past, must be evaluated against your abilities and understanding at that point of time. We learn from moment to moment. Meaning, each moment that passes by, we grow wiser. Hence, even if you are certain your fault, accept the fact that you are wiser today than you were when the event took place and then – instead of feeling guilty, you must forgive yourself. Read more on How to deal with Guilt



Incapability of acceptance
There is a thought related to the above two reasons which people commonly have, i.e. “Why did it happen to me?” They feel bad things happen to only them. Or, they feel entitled to the fact that only good things should come there way endlessly. Of course, there is no rationality in this thought. Rather it is an unrealistic expectation from life. Bad things can happen to anyone – the best people, and to the blameless as well. Accept that fact.



How to you help yourself to come out of this feeling:



Make a list of things to look forward to
Even if a lot of things in your life went wrong, since life is going on, there must be a lot of things that are going right as well. Sadly, the good we often discount, and the bad we immediately grab. If you are making a conscious effort to free yourself from the grip of the past, then make a list of everything that is going the way it should. Be thankful for that. Further make a list of positive and fruitful things that are going to come your way, either by your efforts or through the effort of others. This way you would be able to begin each day with a positive enthusiasm.



Share what you can
The task of putting the past behind is surely not a tangible task. However, since we have a fair understanding of how our mind works, there is a simple solution for you to implement. Instead of reminding yourself ‘what not to think about’ give your mind new things to think about. The most noble of all such thoughts would be to reach out to someone in need and participate in creating a better life for others. Soon you will be creating happy memories for yourself and at the same time. It will help you to feel free of the guilt of your wrong doings. The gratitude you would receive will give you the joy and courage to forgive those whom you consider to have wronged you.



Build a positive self-image
Consistently and consciously try to rise in your own eyes. Earn respect by doing things that are good for everyone around you. Collaborate unselfishly. Rid yourself of limiting habits, however minor they may be. You will feel renewed. You will feel cleansed. Small victories in your private world make a huge difference to how you deal with the external world. So no effort you put is too small. A positive self-image is the key to a positive attitude so start right away. Read More on How to deal with Low self-esteem



The time to be fully alive is now. Life with inner freedom, life your fullest. All the best!

]]> http://thinklink.in/are-you-a-prisoner-of-your-past/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/when-you-dont-give-up-you-cannot-fail/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=when-you-dont-give-up-you-cannot-fail http://thinklink.in/when-you-dont-give-up-you-cannot-fail/#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2012 10:02:16 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6922

The story of a champion- Derek Redmond




If one were to list the achievements of Derek Anthony Redmond they would find that this man won gold and silvers in the World Championships and Commonwealth games in the field of track and running. They would also learn that he once held the British record for the 400m race. However the critics would say that not winning an Olympic gold is a blemish on Derek’s athletic career. What the critics would not see is how this man emerged a champion in the face of defeat with the help of his father, Jim Redmond. How he persevered despite having the odds being stacked against him. Only those present at the 1992 Barcelona Olympic semi final 400m race or a few who stumble upon the haunting video of him completing the race would learn about his heroism.

Redmond first broke the British record for the 400 metres in 1985 with a run of 44.82 seconds. This record was subsequently broken by Roger Black, but Redmond reclaimed the record in 1987 with a run of 44.50 seconds. The record lasted until 1992.

Before the 1992 Olympics, he had undergone eight operations due to injuries. However, he was in good form by the time of the event. He posted the fastest time of the first round, and went on to win his quarter-final. In the semi-final, Redmond started well, but in the back straight about 250 metres from the finish, his hamstring snapped. He hobbled to a halt, and then fell to the ground in pain. Stretcher bearers made their way over to him, but Redmond decided he wanted to finish the race. He began to hobble along the track. He was soon joined on the track by his father, Jim Redmond, who barged past security and on to the track to get to his son. Jim and Derek completed the lap of the track together, with Derek leaning on his father’s shoulder for support. As they crossed the finish line, the crowd of 65,000 spectators rose to give Derek a standing ovation.



Redmond told his father “I’ve got to finish this race.” His father said “If you’re gonna finish the race, we’ll finish it together.”



Redmond’s struggle in the 1992 semi-final later became the subject of one of the International Olympic Committee’s ‘Celebrate Humanity’ videos. In 2008, Redmond was featured in a Visa advertisement promoting the Olympic Games. The advertisement highlights his 1992 injury, noting that “he and his father finished dead last, but he and his father finished”.

Two years after the Olympics in Barcelona, he was told by a surgeon that he would never run again or represent his country in sport. However after coming to terms with the loss of athletics as a career, he began to turn his attention, with the encouragement of his father, to other sports that he enjoyed. After trials at several basketball clubs, he secured a place on the Great Britain national basketball team. He sent a signed photo of the team to the surgeon that had assured him he would never represent his country in sport again. After playing basketball professionally, he turned his attention to rugby, another of his favourite sports and managed to reach division 1 with the intention of representing Great Britain professionally in three different disciplines of sport. However, after completing trials for the England Sevens team, he was denied a place on the squad.

Redmond currently serves as Director of Development for sprints and hurdles for UK Athletics, and also works as a motivational speaker.

Today Redmond does motivational speaking on the conference circuit, inspiring people with the story of the 4×400 gold medal triumph and his famous ordeal in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics.

On January 10, 2012, his father Jim was announced that he will be one of the Olympic torch bearers in London during the summer games.

Derek Redmond is an excellent example of the human spirit of never giving up. No doctor or injury could pull him away from his ambition to represent his country, be it running track or dribbling a basketball. He teaches as that in life you may lose a duel but if you keep working you will never lose the war.


Please view the clip below to see the undying spirit of Derek Redmond.




]]> http://thinklink.in/when-you-dont-give-up-you-cannot-fail/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/be-patient-while-analyzing-and-impatient-while-executing/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=be-patient-while-analyzing-and-impatient-while-executing http://thinklink.in/be-patient-while-analyzing-and-impatient-while-executing/#comments Tue, 10 Jul 2012 09:54:35 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6914



Worrying never sells more! Start thinking outside the box and learn to accept the unacceptable. Calm your mind and your well prepared mind will come with the big idea which will sell. The big idea may come today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year! Tomorrow is always another day to start all over again.

]]> http://thinklink.in/be-patient-while-analyzing-and-impatient-while-executing/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/does-your-child-have-a-bad-temper/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=does-your-child-have-a-bad-temper http://thinklink.in/does-your-child-have-a-bad-temper/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2012 05:53:05 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6772

Parents go to great lengths to do things that would make the lives of their children better. They expend great energy and resource to ensure that their child has comfort and hygiene and abundance in general. Somehow, one would notice, children of our present generation who are growing up with resources and amenities are lagging in social and behavioural development. A large part of the cause is due to the fact that we are surrounded by more gadgets and devices than human beings, and as a result we are gradually losing our social skills. The slow demise of the joint family has played its part, and the fast pace of urban living must also take its share of the blame. It is unfair of us to expect composed and compassionate behaviour from children who have not received it themselves.

Children of the present times are deprived of the opportunity to develop as charming adults as they lose out on a very essential learning of how their actions affect people around them. The most common signal for under developed social skills in children is when they have a bad temper. To help your child if he has a bad temper, first you must recognize the signs and accept the situation.



How many of these sound familiar in the case of your child?

• when in a queue, the child has difficulty waiting for his turn
• pushes others to have is way
• has on occasion even been hitting, kicking, and biting etc
• cannot calm down when excited or angry
• gets very unmanageable when he cannot have his way
• is quick to raise his voice and even interrupts to make himself heard

Bad temper is a ‘learned behaviour’, and hopefully can be unlearned if parents pay heed and take special care. It is going to be a long journey, but an attainable destination. Yet, to start off, it is recommended that you do a quick check on the antecedents of the behaviour. Given that the external environment influences and contributes to the formation of behaviour, since we cannot do anything about it, it is far wiser to focus on what you might be doing that needs to be set right.



Here are some questions for you as a parent:

• Are you disciplining the child too much such that the only way he can express himself is by throwing a tantrum?
• Does the child receive harsh treatment from you?
• Do you or your spouse narrate stories of how you ‘blasted’ someone?
• Do you exhibit road rage even in minor degrees?
• Are you rude to people who serve you?
• Do you use inappropriate language, even occasionally?
• Do you break rules?
• Are you sarcastic in your language?

Now that you have examined yourself, you are more aware about what is causing the behaviour. Also, you are in a better position to help your child.



Here is what you can do further to help your child:



1. Begin by showing respect and courtesy to your child.
2. Observe what triggers the meltdowns and begin by eliminating or at least controlling that.
3. Build compassion in him by talking to your child and explain how it is hurting people around him.
4. Reward good behaviour, but in subtle and non-materialistic ways like a little extra time for play.
5. Partner with your child’s teacher if required to reinforce the learning you are striving to bring about.
6. Lead your child on the path of courtesy, self-restrain and elegance, and begin by following the rules yourself!




You may find helpful:



5 Ways to deal with children using abusive language
6 Common mistakes parents make when confronting the child
Positive Parenting
Cultivating Your Child’s Individuality
Steps for teaching children values
Walking The Talk With Your Children
Boosting Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence
How to Teach Kids to Identify Their Emotions
Helping Your Children Control Their Emotions



Photo Courtesy – Masterfile

]]> http://thinklink.in/does-your-child-have-a-bad-temper/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/develop-your-assertiveness/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=develop-your-assertiveness http://thinklink.in/develop-your-assertiveness/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2012 05:53:02 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6809



QUESTION – “My colleague and I are responsible for generating creative plans. While I cannot complain that my colleague does not come up with his own ideas, yet very often while presenting it to the seniors, I feel my ideas are highjacked as he tactfully presents them as though they were his own. Also, he never bothers to give me the credit while presenting what I toiled to create. Ironically, whenever we need to make a combined presentation about a matter where negative response is feared or expected, he would usually go ahead and begin with my name, and I end up facing the brunt. Under these circumstances, I feel my creative talents are being stolen and unaccounted for. I feel demotivated and agonized. What should I do to emerge successfully from the situation?”



ANSWER – Creativity is a great competency, but along with creativity you need to develop your assertiveness. Talk to your colleague and make him or her realize what you feel, it is possible that your colleague is doing it unintentionally, speaking to him or her will make him or her conscious of the inappropriate behaviour, and the chances are he or she will correct it. If he or she is doing it intentionally, the chances are they may get defensive when you bring it to their attention how you feel about their inappropriate behaviour. In order to resolve the issue, quote specific instances as soon as possible after he or she has done the “wrong” be it immediately after the meeting or when you are having a coffee break or lunch break together.

It is very important for all of us learn that we need to teach others how to treat us.

Learn from the current situation, and in the future be proactive instead of reactive, set the “rules” of engagement with others beforehand.

]]> http://thinklink.in/develop-your-assertiveness/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/ustad-zakir-hussain/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ustad-zakir-hussain http://thinklink.in/ustad-zakir-hussain/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2012 05:52:20 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6790

Ustad Zakir Hussain is today appreciated both in the field of percussion and in the music world at large as an international phenomenon. A classical tabla virtuoso of the highest order, his consistently brilliant and exciting performances have not only established him as a national treasure in his own country, India, but gained him worldwide fame. Ustadji is full of humility while living and breathing music.



He is universally acknowledged as a virtuoso, composer and percussionist whose tabla performances are of the “highest order and marked by uncanny intuition and masterful improvisational dexterity”. He is one who did not stop after mastering Hindustani classical music but has also collaborated, jammed and made music with many Western musicians, in the process bagging both a Sangeet Natak Akademi and a Grammy.



The favorite accompanist for many of India’s greatest classical musicians and dancers, from Ali Akbar Khan and Ravi Shankar to Birju Maharaj and Shivkumar Sharma, he has not let his genius rest there. His playing is marked by uncanny intuition and masterful improvisational dexterity, founded in formidable knowledge and study.



A lot of charisma and charm flows out of Zakir Hussain when he plays. The gifted Tabla Maestro shakes and nods his head at the audience impishly; smiles infectiousy and his fingers magically fly over his Tabla in perfect rhythm and with constant verve and confidence. He is in every way what an artist should be and proves himself one at every turn , whether it is displaying the creativity of percussion or interacting with the audience. Zakir Hussain totally disarms one by his easy going attitude and friendly smile. Playing the Tabla for him means, having a really good time.



Widely considered a chief architect of the contemporary world music movement, Zakir’s contribution to world music has been unique, with many historic collaborations including Shakti, which he founded with John McLaughlin and L. Shankar, the Diga Rhythm Band, Making Music, Planet Drum with Mickey Hart, and recordings and performances with artists as diverse as George Harrison, Joe Henderson, Van Morrison, Jack Bruce, Tito Puente, Pharoah Sanders, Billy Cobham, the Hong Kong Symphony and the New Orleans Symphony.



A child prodigy, Zakir was touring by the age of twelve, the gifted son of his great father, tabla legend Ustad Alla Rakha. Zakir came to the United States in 1970, embarking on an international career which includes no fewer than 150 concert dates a year.



Zakir received the distinct honor of co-composing the opening music for the Summer Olympics in Atlanta, 1996.



He has composed for many English movies like Apocalypse Now, In Custody, Little Buddha, The Mystic Masseur, Heat and Dust.



Please view two clips of a movie made by Mr. Sumantra Ghosal “The speaking hand” on Ustad Zakir Hussain. For rest of the clips you can go to youtube and watch for your inspiring pleasure.



]]> http://thinklink.in/ustad-zakir-hussain/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/learn-to-become-mini-mother-teresa-every-day-try/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=learn-to-become-mini-mother-teresa-every-day-try http://thinklink.in/learn-to-become-mini-mother-teresa-every-day-try/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2012 05:52:14 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6735

“Everybody can be great. Because, anybody can serve, you don’t have to have a college degree to serve…you don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle! You don’t have to know Einstein’s theory of relativity to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” – Martin Luther King

You and me cannot be Mother Teresa but by my Godjee we can help those who need help in little, little ways and feel like her when the day is over! I do.

]]> http://thinklink.in/learn-to-become-mini-mother-teresa-every-day-try/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/who-is-influencing-your-attitude/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=who-is-influencing-your-attitude http://thinklink.in/who-is-influencing-your-attitude/#comments Sat, 02 Jun 2012 05:51:04 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6745

You arrive home after the days work and your spouse is tense and wants to discuss some matter where your opinion is important. You hear it all first, and when you begin to speak you notice your spouse is surprised at your unexpected response. You have no clue either about why you said what you said. You were able to make a positive assessment and take an optimistic stand on what your spouse anticipated that you would rather become upset and take an adverse stand.

What do you think caused the unexpected shift in your perspective?

It could be someone you met during the course of the day, or even just spoke to over the phone. As you would have it, people radiate their inner energy around them. And they do so freely. When they come in contact with another person who is in a relatively neutral state, some bit of energy transfer takes place in the presence of one another. People with an amazing attitude have an unexplainable ability to influence your attitude positively. Their bubbling spirit passes on to you without their effort, and while you were unaware of it. You must find various ways to surround yourself with such people who exude positivism, energy and the zest for living.



People with positive energy will:

• brighten the space around you
• energize you
• make you feel good about yourself
• fill you with the urge to start afresh in spite of your setbacks
• bring a positive outlook to the situation

Depending who you are with; you will either gain a positive momentum in the meeting or lose your own! This is because, along with the positive, you are catching a great deal of negative signals as well.



People with negative energy will:

• sap your vitality
• cause unrest and turmoil in the surrounding
• make every one uneasy
• people feel either drained or relieved upon their exit
• additional unexplained negative behaviours emerge in their presence like – jealousy, mistrust, hatred, revenge, anger etc.
• fill your mind with doubts, fear and cynicism.




So, what can you do about the negative energies around?

Primarily, there is little you can do about it. The negative exists out there to balance off the positive. And it does so by posing ever new challenges which the positive must overcome. Instead of trying to combat with the negative, it is better to first learn to identify so that you may also have the option of avoiding. Most people consider this option as an escape route; however, on the contrary, it is a big energy saver as it stops you from expending your precious energies on inessentials. Hence, first you must learn to identify it.



Simple steps to infuse positive energy in your life:



1. Repeat to yourself the one line which fills you with hope and energy – words that really charge you up. Begin your day everyday by repeating these lines to yourself. You could even keep it as an exhibit in your personal space at the work place or at home where you spend a large part of your time. This would also serve as a reminder to you. Remember words have power, hence repeat the words to yourself and allow yourself to hear the words. That is how you can receive the energy from it.




2. Begin your day with great music - Music is a great healer for the soul. Be it love or heartache, whenever there is an intense emotion, you would notice it is common to break into a song. Though a lot of people try to scientifically argue that, yet everyone knows and feels that music has the ability to put you in a different mood. Let music be an active part of your morning ritual.




3. Everyday we have a choice to correct our mistakes of yesterday and live wiser – Hence, be grateful for the day you have woken up to. It is a gift from the universe, to allow you 24 wonderful hours so that you can live life to your fullest.




4. Consciously do things that make you happy – These can be simple things like walking with your dog, listening to your favourite bhajan , updating your personal board with your child’s latest artwork and so forth. The idea is to create such moments frequently which trigger positive feelings in you so that you are not swayed unfavourably by the negative.




5. Take one specific effort everyday to be in touch with the good old friends and associates who have seen you through lots of ups and downs – They would have an amazing ability to lower your stress levels by simply accepting you as you are and hence give you a positive sense of being. It will not consume much time – whether you want to drop a line through the mail, send a message from your hand phone or even make a call. Yet that would put you in a pleasant and positive mood that would last through the day.




6. Indulge in random acts of kindness because nothing brings more joy and positive energy than the feeling of being of help and use to another – You can do very simple things but they must be unexpected. It is only then that they would bring the joy you seek.

Whatever you current state may be, with consciousness towards your moods and emotions you will be able to gain a positive attitude, and remain composed and unfazed in adverse situations. Remember, every positive step you take will influence your attitude. Which is why, no act is small.



You may find helpful:



Attitude is Everything
Four Proven Techniques On How To Capture Positive Habits
Energize Yourself – Switch on/ Switch off
Eight Clues To Happiness

]]> http://thinklink.in/who-is-influencing-your-attitude/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/enjoy-responsibility-with-sensitivity/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=enjoy-responsibility-with-sensitivity http://thinklink.in/enjoy-responsibility-with-sensitivity/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 06:12:37 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6623

QUESTION - I have recently been promoted to work in a prestigious project. I was pleasantly surprised to know that my previous reporting boss and I would now be peers. I was looking forward to working with him as we shared a very good rapport. Unfortunately things are turning out quite different from what I had expected. My previous boss(now peer) is behaving very cold and non -cooperative. In fact, he has been refusing all my effort to establish communication. It is a very big challenge to work as a team under these circumstances. If it continues, I fear the project may begin to suffer, and that is making me very uneasy and stressed.



ADVICE – Congratulations for the promotion. Your seniors have made a decision to promote you to be at par with your senior colleague, now it is your responsibility to handle the promotion in a manner that your senior’s decision is proven to be right.

You are gaining momentum compared to others in your organisation. You are facing challenges similar to what Dhoni had faced, when he became Captain of the Indian team ahead of the likes of Virender Sehwag and Yuvraj. He has successfully lead players as senior as Sachin Tendulkar and Dravid. Many people remember when Dhoni picked up Anil Kumble on his shoulders at the end of the match that was to be the last match for Kumble as the Indian captain. Dhoni also ensured that Sachin Tendulkar gets to be lifted on the shoulders of fellow players on the eve of India lifting the World cup. Such gestures go a long way in creating harmony when individuals are being promoted rapidly like you.

Please be sensitive to the fact that your ex-boss is now your peer, it will take sometime for him or her to get used to this change, make it easier on him or her by you being sensitive and giving him or her the respect that you had always given. Communicating your gratitude for the guidance that he has given will also help. If you feel that your ex-boss on occasions is not dealing with his or her insecurities well, and is misbehaving, you be sensible and step back and find other ways to ensure that the team doesn’t suffer. Also seek opportunities where you can have one on one time with your ex-boss, now at par with you be it having tea or coffee, or meals or if possible travelling together, on these occasions be “extra” nice.

It is only a matter of time. Be sensitive and sensible, and things will return to normal.

]]> http://thinklink.in/enjoy-responsibility-with-sensitivity/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/the-best-time-to-convert-your-problems-into-opportunities/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-best-time-to-convert-your-problems-into-opportunities http://thinklink.in/the-best-time-to-convert-your-problems-into-opportunities/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 06:05:33 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6577

In my own way I have found this to be the best time to think through problems into great opportunities. I also practice to put problems into my “mental processor” and sometimes good ideas come…pop, pop, pop…my mind becomes a popcorn machine!

For example I believe in the fact that forgiveness is not an occasional act but it is a permanent attitude and I have learnt to practice forgive and forget to my advantage. I have also learnt to say “NO” and save hundred of my headaches and heartaches. No rocket science or Ph.D. to it but simple thinking through processes while shaving or being driven or before going to sleep.

]]> http://thinklink.in/the-best-time-to-convert-your-problems-into-opportunities/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/zohra-sehgal/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=zohra-sehgal http://thinklink.in/zohra-sehgal/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 06:02:03 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6636

Zohra Sehgal, a name that symbolizes zest for living and truly truly defines ‘Life’ in short. The unmatched charm she possesses, the animated and most expressive face she has, and the ever-young heart fills the ambiance with joy and happiness.

She was born on April 27, 1912, in Saharanpur, Uttar Pradesh, third of her seven siblings – and grew up in Chakrata, now in Uttarakhand (near Dehradun).She began her career as a dancer with Uday Shankar in 1935 and performed across Japan, Egypt, Europe and the US. She married scientist, painter and dancer Kameshwar Sehgal in August 1942. She was active in theatre mostly, but also did a few films in between. She choreographed for a few Hindi films as well; including Guru Dutt’s Baazi (1951) and the dream sequence song in Raj Kapoor’s film Awaara. Sehgal moved to London on a drama scholarship in 1962, where she appeared in many TV productions including The Jewel in the Crown, Tandoori Nights and My Beautiful Laundrette.

Returning to India in the mid-1990s, Sehgal acted in several films, plays and TV series.

Known for her feisty spirit and zest for life, Zohra spread smiles with her roles in Sawariyaa and Cheeni Kum even at the age of 94.

Sehgal was awarded the Padma Shri in 1998. She was subsequently honoured with the Padma Bhushan (2002) and Padma Vibhushan, the second highest civilian award in 2010.

Incidentally, Sehgal’s 100th birthday comes in the year when Cinema is also celebrating its completion of a century.

There are not many who have the privilege of Amitabh Bachchan pulling a chair for them. Zohra Sehgal is one of those few,” filmmaker R Balki says with a laugh. “Each time Zohraji came on the sets of ‘Cheeni Kum’, Mr Bachchan would stand up, first greet her and then pull a chair for her to sit,” says the adman-turned-director and adds that Sehgal’s mesmerising inner beauty makes her his most favourite woman.

From Prithviraj Kapoor to Raj Kapoor, Rishi Kapoor and Ranbir Kapoor, she has worked with four generations of Bollywood’s famous Kapoor family – and she hasn’t let age dampen her spirit at all.



Please view the three clips attached below to view the mesmerizing personality of Zohra Sehgal.




]]> http://thinklink.in/zohra-sehgal/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-identify-and-deal-with-a-toxic-relationship/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=9-ways-to-identify-and-deal-with-a-toxic-relationship http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-identify-and-deal-with-a-toxic-relationship/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 05:55:06 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6651

There are many relationships we carry forward which are doing harm to our self-esteem, peace of mind and happiness in general. These are people who are part of our lives but are making a negative, in fact, toxic contribution to it. Being in such an association for too long could be detrimental to our mental health. It is sad, but required, to identify such associations and weed them out.

The first step is to identify such people and evaluate the nature of your interaction with them. You will notice that there is an emerging pattern in all such negative associations – that they deplete you of your positive energy and vigor.

Here are some signals to watch out for:



1. Your needs are not the focus – it is always about them and their needs. You are made to feel less important all the time.




2. Insincerity in the behavior – when you share something funny, or emotional or happy, you get an inadequate and insincere response to it. For funny things, only a polite laugh, for emotional matters maybe a quick line to stop you from speaking more about it, and for happy things, a very pessimistic comment that saps your enthusiasm.




3. Consuming your time disproportionately – you may be required to put aside even important chores to listen to them or entertain them. Their otherwise minor issues burden you because of long conversations and phone calls.




4. You are always at fault – no matter what happens to them, it is somehow always your doing. It could be true for certain occasions, but never always!




5. Presenting unacceptable or intimidating propositions – forcing you to compromise under an emotional threat or blackmail so that they can have their way.




6. You are never at the receiving end – though you keep giving ever more, it is never sufficient. And there is very little in the name of reciprocation.




7. Abnormally possessive – whatever activity you do outside them is viewed as unimportant, or with suspicion, even ridicule at times. Basically, you have no rights outside them.




8. Your thoughts and opinions are belittled – you feel stupid for your ideas as they are never appreciated. Your strengths, talents and accomplishments never feature in the relationship. You feel inadequate.




9. You find your behavior changing for the worst with some people – in order to cope with such a demeaning arrangement, though it may be very covert, you end up behaving less dignified and immature around them.




Simple ways to help you to help yourself:



1. Evaluate your self
   What you do around people gives them the courage and the idea of how to use the association with you to their advantage. You must accept that there are mistakes of oversight on your part as well due to which the toxic relation around you engulf you. Watch what you say and watch what you do. Be cautious and do not let people get a chance. If we wish to set things right around you, it has to begin from setting thing right within yourself.




2. Evaluate the people in your life objectively
   You should never feel the burden of a relationship. And if something causes you to feel that way, it is the unnecessary pressure exerted on you by them. List out all the people you interact with on an average week. Make a note of what good vibrations they bring with them and their limitations.




3. Weed out the negative
   Now that you have mapped the strengths and a weakness of each of your associations, this step is a natural progression. You must remove the people from your life who lower your self-esteem, disrespect you and in general, do not make you happy. There can be very little reason for you to maintain such relationships. Find ways to gradually cut off ties with such people.




4. Reduce your involvement and investment
   Since what you have invested in the relationship is not reciprocated, it is natural that you would feel sad about it. What you can immediately do to come out of the feeling is, to stop investing your energy. If you presented a lavish meal every time your associate came in, stop. Order food if completely necessary. If it was long phone calls, tell clearly you have to do something more important. If you needed to accompany them to their place of interest, say you have another engagement.




5. Be in control of your emotions
   The top method used by toxic people is manipulation. They are quick to identify your emotional needs, weaknesses and insecurities. This is their chief tool. When they see a weak spot in your emotional orientation, they feed their selfish interests upon it. What you can do to prevent yourself from being abused in this manner is by remaining in control of yourself at all times. Do not confide and do not share any information sensitive to you.




6. Learn to be with yourself
   In addition to being in greater emotional control; another very significant factor you must cultivate is to know how to be happy and content with yourself. Often times, people are restless when on their own. They would rather seek a
   dysfunctional association than enjoy the time they have for themselves. They feel being on your own is a stigma which reduces your social acceptance. Basically, they want to be with ‘someone’ regardless of his/her compatibility and eligibility because they do not know how to be with themselves! Forging a relationship under such circumstances leads you to accept a great deal of undeserved negativity in an association. It is far better to be on your own than to demean yourself by pursuing such an association.




7. Break the pattern
   It does not matter how long you have been in that sort of arrangement where you have made endless sacrifices. You can choose to change it all by changing how you respond. Begin with simple things like choosing your own food, clothes, and watch the movie which you like. If you have always remained quiet for the fear of hurting, respond in a short sentence, express yourself. By all means, do what it takes to not allow the previous pattern to continue.




8. Learn to say no
   In the beginning, before you realize it is a toxic relationship, you are likely to maintain a very agreeable and adjusting approach. You may be giving, or giving in for the sake of the happiness of the other. You may be yielding to demands which are gradually increasing your inconvenience and lowering your self-respect. Learn to speak up. Learn to say no. Do not allow yourself to be taken for granted.




9. Make new associations
   Probably the reason we continue in a toxic relationship is because we do not allow ourselves an alternative to choose from. We allow ourselves to be stuck with someone negatively oriented, and consequently we are responsible for creating our own misery. Do not fear that you will not know how to deal with breaking such a relationship. Go out and actively seek new friends. And do so in positive and healthy environments. There is plenty to choose from, for example, join a book club – it will help you bond with people of refined taste and at the same time you gain from reading books. You could reap the benefit of healthy association by simply stepping out in the morning and joining a jogger’s group. This will detoxify you and rebuilds your esteem to help you cope with the situation in a better way. Read more about how to deal with broken relationships.
]]> http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-identify-and-deal-with-a-toxic-relationship/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/5-ways-to-deal-with-children-using-abusive-language/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-ways-to-deal-with-children-using-abusive-language http://thinklink.in/5-ways-to-deal-with-children-using-abusive-language/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 05:41:47 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6583



It may sound shocking to many, but it is true. Children too use inappropriate language. It is a separate issue as to how they have come to use it, as everything they learn, they do so from the environment. All children are at equal risk of learning words which are rude, demeaning, or outright unacceptable.



Here are some simple things you can do to bring your child out of this negative behaviour:



1. Respond appropriately and immediately
   Take immediate action; don’t wait for a later time as the context may be lost. But do so with caution. When a child uses inappropriate language, the parents either over-react by becoming very aggressive or shut out the child completely. Rather, you must deal with it calmly. This advice is very hard to apply when you are faced with such a situation, primarily because it pushes one of our own emotional hot buttons. In spite of being adults, we lose our control. A good approach is to calmly, yet firmly tell the child that it is unacceptable to use the words that he just has. Remember, even in this crisis, you need to display greater wisdom. It would also be an example to your child that being angry and upset does not need to be accompanied by bad language.




2. Let the child face the meaning
   In as few words as possible, explain the meaning of the words the child has used and let him face the meaning. It will make you uneasy, but the step is important. It is usually an eye-opener for the child. Innocent as they are, they usually have no clue as to what the words imply. It is certainly not their intention to say words to that effect. They may simply be using it as an unconscious exclamation, and without the precise comprehension. Sometimes, children use such language even to simply gain the attention of their parents.

Remember, you will need to adapt this step depending upon the maturity level of your child.



3. Identify the sources and triggers
   As we know, the environment plays a fundamental role on the personality and behaviour of the child, it is critically important for you to review your child’s surroundings from time to time. The television programmes your child watches, interaction with the household help etc., the kind of music they listen to, the peer group – they all contribute in shaping your child’s vocabulary and social interaction skills. Further, these all are the probable sources from where your child is picking up objectionable phrases, expressions and language. In order to eliminate the bad influence, you must first identify its source accurately and then proceed to take suitable action.




4. Practice authentic and exemplary behaviour
   The best and the most long-lasting solution to children’s improper language is to never, under any circumstances allow yourself to behave in a manner which you would not like your child to learn. You may not be aware that your expressions of annoyance, displeasure and frustrations are all casting a shadow and influencing your child’s behaviour. As a responsible parent, when you show calmness under stress, self-control when provoked and politeness when upset, it is then that your child learns to control the urge to vent out negatively through bad language.




5. Teach respect, politeness and courtesy
   If your child speaks words which are not respectful or even curt at times, do check him. A good way to do that is by saying:

   “I understand something/someone has upset you, but a better way to respond is by saying…”

   “What you said is not proper. You should apologize. And a better way to express yourself is.”Character-building and learning skills to live life better is a never-ending process. The following quote expresses it beautifully:

   ‘Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations.’ Bryant H. McGill

Whatever you expect from your child, you must give it to him first. Use respectful language at home – be polite to the spouse, to the child and to everyone who enters your home. Build your child’s self-esteem. Also, take him to gatherings where he can see how refined people interact. It will surely bring about a great deal of positive change in your child.


*Photo Courtesy : Getty Images

]]> http://thinklink.in/5-ways-to-deal-with-children-using-abusive-language/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/leadership-is-all-about-calibration-and-celebration/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=leadership-is-all-about-calibration-and-celebration http://thinklink.in/leadership-is-all-about-calibration-and-celebration/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 07:05:41 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6496

Q – “I am in a senior leadership position in my company. Over the years I have found myself to grow into a very efficient manager. I like orderliness and recommend a very clear working method to the large team which I handle. My instructions are always detailed and very methodical, and they have brought me great results consistently. However, of late I have begun to sense from the words of my colleagues that my team has a negative and rebellious disposition towards me. More so, they voice it behind my back. It is causing me a great deal of difficulty to work with my team as I don’t find them efficient or even open to me. What are my options to deal with this situation better?”

A – Leadership is all about calibration and celebration. Often as leaders, we don’t celebrate success. Taking the time to celebrate success at appropriate times will enable you as leader to take stock of the calibre of your team members and the challenges that you and your team members are dealing with, and do what it right.

What seems to be the case at present with you is that your team members have become apt in handling the levels of challenges that they are facing, therefore an appropriate thing to do for you would be to plan to take on tougher challenges.

While you are planning to prepare your team to take on tougher challenges, delegate the day to day leadership function to some of your able juniors, it will free you to do two things, , one, develop your juniors to become able leaders, and two, develop yourself to take on newer challenges.

The task of a leader is to create more leaders, not more followers. Continue calibrating by taking on tougher challenges and developing your team members to take on successfully tougher challenges, and celebrate every time your team achieves higher results.

]]> http://thinklink.in/leadership-is-all-about-calibration-and-celebration/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/8-ways-to-help-your-child-to-organize-belongings/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=8-ways-to-help-your-child-to-organize-belongings http://thinklink.in/8-ways-to-help-your-child-to-organize-belongings/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 06:59:50 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6384

Just like every adult feels pressed for time as they do many activities during the day, so are our children. They have varied activities too like studies, hobby class, sports and games to play and many more. All these activities are supported by a host of items like stationery, sports equipments, learning toys, costumes, appliances etc. Given the growing space crunch in urban homes, it is very important for children to learn to organize their things and manage space intelligently.

Here are few points which can be useful to teach children how to keep their belongings organized:



1. First and foremost, teach your child why organizing is important –
   It may sound like a strange co-relation but behaviour analysts believe that condition of your shelves and drawers is very closely related to the condition of your mind. It could be quite challenging for your child to think clearly when things around him are not fashioned in a manner that promotes clear thought. For every item your child needs to use, he may be spending considerable time, even unknowingly, looking for it from among a heap of things. If everything is in its place, there is a state of orderliness which helps children to work and study well.
   
   

2. Get away from the ‘short-cut method’ of cleaning –
   When there is less time on our hands, it is difficult to not give in to the urge to put everything in the cupboard or drawer so as to keep the outer area like the living room, study area etc looking clean. Though others may like the orderliness, you would be very uneasy knowing that beneath the surface is all clutter and chaos! Therefore whenever you are cleaning, do so thoroughly. Clean the small areas too like drawers, shelves and even your wallet and bag.
   
   

3. Assign a place –
   Many times we expect children to keep their things in order without specifying an area for each of their varied belongings. To initiate the child into organized living you will need to actively participate at first showing him how to do it. If you want the sports items to be in one place, mark a shelf or a box where everything related – to the sport your child plays can be kept. Similarly, for his other belongings.
   
   

4. Schedule a time –
   Just as there is a specific time in your child’s schedule for studying, playing, reading, likewise dedicate a few minutes everyday as ‘clean- up time’. This would bring in discipline in your child to pick up things that he has used and to put them back in their right place. Also, once a week keep a little longer time to organize cupboards and drawers, or wherever your child’s belongings are stored. This will surely help the child during his busy week. It is very important that you do the same for your belongings too. When you are teaching something to your child, nothing works better than a live example.
   
   

5. Decide promptly –
   People generally stash items which they are not sure what to do with. At times it may be an uncomfortable decision, like whether they want to keep a certain thing or throw it away. The general rule is, if you have not used something in three months, it is very unlikely that you will use it any time later. Organizing needs decision-making at every step like – “do I need this?”, “will I use this?” And the sooner you arrive at the answer, the faster you can tackle the mess. It may take you and your child a little while, over time you will both learn to sort items fast. It will save so much of your space and time for things of real value.
   
   

6. Allot the number of items –
   If your child enjoys reading, it is natural that he would possess plenty of books and you may be buying every now and then as well to keep him going. As a result there would be a large number of books in your house, especially on the child’s study table in addition to the regular course books. You can embark on a method of using a permissible number, whether eight or ten, but no more should be on the table or shelf at a time. Each time your child gets a new book, have him give away one, or better still, two of his older books.
   
   

7. Select what you put on display –
   Let your child choose his best artwork created during the week which you can put on display. It may be a little tough for the enthusiastic artist to discard a large part of his work, but it is an important lesson in learning ‘quality work’. This way you can avoid the display area from getting overly crowded. As for the memories, you can take pictures of your child’s artwork and save it in a folder on your personal computer.
   
   

8. Reduce ‘want’ purchases to ‘need’ purchases –
   Take your child to donate books to under-privileged children. The experience can be an eye-opener. They begin to realize that they do not need so many toy cars, and also how much happiness they can give to another child by simply giving away an old toy. You will notice the change in your child’s approach to toys and ‘demands’ on the whole when they see there is a complete world outside their own privileged lives where children cope with challenging circumstances and make do with so little. It may hopefully reduce the number of things you must buy for your child. As a result, you can be sure to have attained considerable success in managing the overflow of things.
   
   

   *Photo Courtesy – Getty Images

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/8-ways-to-help-your-child-to-organize-belongings/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/being-authentic/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=being-authentic http://thinklink.in/being-authentic/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 06:52:59 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6462

   
   Being authentic is an inner strength which helps you to feel powerful even when odds are against you. It makes you trustworthy and respected. It creates opportunities for you where others would least expect.

   Think Evolve brings you an illustrative article about being authentic.

   Imagine for a moment, if someone whom you are speaking to listens to you with a clear and open mind, looks at you without evaluating you and surprises you by appreciating something about you which no one lately has noticed – how wonderful you would feel to be with that person! The joy of being understood and being accepted in spite of our limitations as human being is indescribable. It has to be felt. And now for the more familiar scenario – you have just met someone at a social function and he describes his everyday traffic ordeal to you. While he speaks, you notice. Everything about him, his attire, his accent, his little details and then draw up a picture in your mind about what you think he is about. You have been with him, but not present with of him as your mind was wandering and perhaps trying to measure him up. Our mind begins to get conditioned over the years to analyse and judge anyone we come across.

   Judgmental behaviour is harmless on the surface but it indicates a great deal of inner turmoil, insecurity, dissatisfaction and other unfulfilled experiences. Giving feedback to someone who can gain from your perspective is a good practice. However, a continuous negative evaluation of people and matters around you could actually mean you need to ‘cleanse’ your perspective.

   The critical part of the matter is that judgmental behaviour depletes your intellectual and creative energy. If every time you are tempted to ask, “Why does this person behave like this?” or say,
   “Why is this person so weird in his ways?” but instead you were to ask yourself, “What can I do to become a better person?” and better still, “What can I learn from this person?”. You will gradually transform yourself, and people will respond unconsciously to this new you and it would surprise you. It is like a burden being taken off you. To have a mind which is free from opinions but full of ideas – what an enormously empowering and liberating experience it truly would be!

   To further illustrate the idea of liberating your inner judgmental voice, here is an example from the work of a very famous actor. Robert de Niro is famous for his method acting. He has never just played a role, but become the role that he played. He had a long professional association with his friend acclaimed director, filmmaker Martin Scorsese. The lead characters of Scorsese’s films often have a blurred or deformed sense of morality, and are prone to violence, while seeking acceptance in the society they live in. Few of his characters were even to the extreme of being sociopaths.

   Robert de Niro convincingly portrayed these characters of various shades in eight of Scorsese’s films with immense artistic finesse. While presenting the AFI Life Achievement Award to Robert de Niro, here is what Martin Scorsese said:

   “To be certain, he has an extra ordinary genius to transform himself, to undergo a metamorphosis, to simply be, just be the person he is playing, not act, but become, command and inhabit the character.“So many of those characters who refuse to forgive themselves, I never knew where he pulled it from, I guess I still don’t , of course it has to be from his intelligence, his bravery and analysis of those characters, how he throws himself into the deepest and the darkest chasms, and always comes out as a human being. That’s the trick. At times working with him I thought we had a unique understanding of each other and I hope the audience would sense it and relate to that connection. I think that is what kept on pushing us. He never looks down on the character he plays, he never judges them. And this is the way he is out of character. As a man and a friend he is compassionate and trustworthy. He is a good man.”

   (Please watch the clip below the article)

   If we practice being our hundred percent at work, at home, or wherever we are meant to be, we would live an amazing life! Being authentic is an inner strength which helps you to feel powerful even when odds are against you. It makes you trustworthy and respected. It creates opportunities for you where others would least expect. People around you may not be able to describe in words, but they will respond to you in a similar sincere and authentic manner. As always, the change that you desire around you, must begin with you.

   Let us live with more fulfillment, by being authentic:

   “Listen without Defending,
   Speak without Offending.
   Love without Depending,
   And Live without Pretending.”
   
   

   
   
   *Photo Courtesy – Getty Images

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/being-authentic/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/think-link-is-now-3/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=think-link-is-now-3 http://thinklink.in/think-link-is-now-3/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 06:06:40 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6533

   It is a moment of great joy for us, to celebrate Think Link’s earnest endeavour to bring forth new and relevant topics to its readers. We began with the idea that learning must be continuous and holistic, extending from parenting to building individual competence to reflection and introspection of ones actions. And we may proudly say, we have matured with every issue. You will enjoy reading our vast archive as much as our new articles as each one of them is written keeping your needs and interests in mind.

   Sowing seeds of positive thoughts – such that positive attitude germinates.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/think-link-is-now-3/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/adele-an-incredible-success-story/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=adele-an-incredible-success-story http://thinklink.in/adele-an-incredible-success-story/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 05:55:47 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6402

   According to Simon Cowell “Adele’s is an incredible story. “ You wouldn’t have predicted this years ago when we were such an image-infatuated business.”Here is somebody who has done everything her own way, gone back to basics and achieved this incredible success. She’s one of the most down-to-earth people you’ll meet – and she hasn’t changed a bit.”

   Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, better known simply as Adele is an English recording artist and songwriter. Adele’s debut album, 19, which is named for the singer’s age when she began recording it, hit record stores in early 2008. Adele cemented her commercial success with an appearance in October 2008 on Saturday Night Live. At the taping of the show, the album was ranked No. 40 on iTunes. Less than 24 hours later, it was No. 1.

   At the 2009 Grammy awards,Adele took home Best New Artist. In addition, the album earned the singer the distinction of being named the “Sound of 2008″ by the BBC.

   Her much anticipated follow-up album, 21, again named for her age when she recorded it, did not disappoint upon its release in early 2011. In 2012, she swept the Grammy Awards, taking home six wins, including Album of the Year.

   She found herself with two top-five singles and a pair of top-five albums in the same week, the first artist since the Beatles to achieve that milestone.

   She is the only child of Penny Adkins, who was just 18 at the time of her birth, and a Welsh father, Mark, who left the family when Adele was only 4 years old. Mark, who never married Penny, remained in contact with his daughter up until her teen years, when his problems with alcohol, and increasing estrangement from his daughter, caused their relationship to deteriorate.

   Early on, Adele developed a passion for music. But her true, eye-opening moment came when she was 15, and she happened upon a collection of Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald records. “There was no musical heritage in our family,” Adele told The Telegraph in a 2008 interview. “Chart music was all I ever knew. So when I listened to the Ettas and the Ellas, it was like an awakening. I was like, oh, right, some people have proper longevity and are legends. I was so inspired that as a 15-year-old I was listening to music that had been made in the 40s.”

   Coupled with the success is Adele’s own maturity, and ability to avoid the same kind of fame-induced pitfalls that plagued the late Amy Winehouse. Adele, whose larger, curvier body bucks the trend of most Top 40 celebs, is also supremely confident not just in her talent, but also in her looks. “I’ve seen people where it rules their lives, you know, who want to be thinner body, and how it wears them down,” she told Vogue magazine in 2011. “And I just don’t want that in my life.”

   According to Adele, she likes having her hair and face done, but will not lose weight just because someone tells her to. She says that she makes music to be a musician not to be on the cover of a magazine.

   Please view the clip below to see and hear the genius of Adele.
   
   
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/adele-an-incredible-success-story/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/problems-disappear-only-when-ram-nam-satya-hai/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=problems-disappear-only-when-ram-nam-satya-hai http://thinklink.in/problems-disappear-only-when-ram-nam-satya-hai/#comments Mon, 09 Apr 2012 05:52:02 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6379

   Till then we have a choice to be Sukhi Ram or Dukhi Ram. Sukhi Ram is a person who believes in taking ups and downs of life in their stride. Sukhi Ram manufactures positive attitude in his mind and keeps coming up with new and better ideas knowing fully well that: this too shall pass!

   Dukhi Ram is a mournful person for whom life passes by as a series of distressing events. He is always unhappy with persons and events and accepts them as part of his fate. Remember, wealth, wisdom, status (or lack of it) makes no difference to be a Sukhi Ram or Dukhi Ram. You can choose to be a friend or enemy to yourself. The concept of Sukhi Ram Vs. Dukhi Ram has been discovered by me, so I call myself-Permanent Sukhi Ram (PSR!) If you also want to become PSR, read my books, simple!

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/problems-disappear-only-when-ram-nam-satya-hai/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/some-children-flower-at-10-some-at-20-some-at-30-have-patience/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=some-children-flower-at-10-some-at-20-some-at-30-have-patience http://thinklink.in/some-children-flower-at-10-some-at-20-some-at-30-have-patience/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:23:23 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6262

   

   Don’t Be Impatient – Don’t Insult By Comparison!

   The biggest favour my father did for me was when I failed in 9th class and my younger brother passed (we were in same class!). He did not insult me or compared me with anyone else, including my younger brother. An example, of excellent parenting. And, I think, I flowered at 40! Think it over. Be patient with your children. Keep on doing your best for your children. Be as much creative as well as innovative in managing your children as you are in your profession, if not more! If you do that, you will be solving your problems of tomorrow, today! I did.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/some-children-flower-at-10-some-at-20-some-at-30-have-patience/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/6-lessons-from-oprah-winfrey-life-and-career/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=6-lessons-from-oprah-winfrey-life-and-career http://thinklink.in/6-lessons-from-oprah-winfrey-life-and-career/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:16:52 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6333

   She is an icon of our times and for all times to come. She is a household name in millions of homes across the world. She is known for her soulful, emotionally stirring, uplifting and motivating talk show which she hosted for 25 years – The Oprah Winfrey Show. Think You brings to you some precious lessons we can learn from her outstanding career and inspiring life.

   Oprah is a living example of grace and grit. Born to a poor unwed mother, her childhood was full of odds we cannot possibly imagine. She suffered humiliation and ridicule for her circumstances and even abuse at the hands of people close to her. It takes an extra-ordinary resilience to rise above such mental, emotional and physical trauma.

   Though coming from a humble background, Oprah was gifted. She could read by the age of three and exhibited immense poise and confidence on the stage at a very early age. She was a popular and meritorious student. In 1976 at the age of 22, Oprah had begun her career as a news anchor – she was the youngest and the first African-American female to do so. From there she scaled heights that television around the world has witnessed. At 32 she was a millionaire as her show was an immense success. Her talk show is marked by her deep empathy, her humor and her plain language with which everyone who watches it feels connected instantly.

   Her life is inspiring, and here are in brief, 6 lessons to be learnt from her:

   1. Believe in yourself –
      Given her circumstances, Oprah had all the excuses an adolescent would need to go astray. But more than the things around her, she believed in what was within her. She pursued her education against all odds and did so with merit. Though in hindsight every challenge seems less overpowering, but we must realize that she battled her odds as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult who had very little parental support. All that would not have been possible without her indomitable spirit and faith in herself and the future.

   
   

   2. Have gratitude for what you have received –
      Oprah remembers her maternal grand-mother fondly, who taught her to read. To this day Oprah is passionate about reading. She considers her grand-mother as the guardian who gave her strength and a positive feeling about her identity. She has the courage to choose and remember what was good about her life and for that she remains grateful.

   
   

   3. Share your genius –
      In the competitive world of media Oprah is known to have launched talk shows of other distinguished people she met. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Rachel Ray are three such shows which were initiated by Oprah. Being aware of her ability to convince others, Oprah has utilized it generously for others. It is famously called “The Oprah Effect”. It goes on to show that Oprah cares. For everyone. She tries to leave them a little more satisfied and fulfilled in their life than when she met them.

   
   

   4. Embrace change –
      The most apparent change which Oprah has under gone from time to time which is about sporting new and experimental looks every now and then. She has also struggled hard to keep herself healthy and control her weight which has posed a challenge to her consistently. More significantly, it is her show which has also metamorphosed. Beginning as a talk-show which presented people facing challenges, her show is styled like a group therapy which takes the help of disclosure and confession of intimate and alarming details. In more recent times, she has indulgently covered more literary, self-developmental and holistic topics, bringing about more dimension and depth to the program.

   
   

   5. Keep your friends –
      In all the things that she has changed, Oprah has been inseparable from her trusted and beloved friend Gayle King. Gayle and her association began when Oprah was in her twenties. Evidently, there was much that happened in Oprah career and personal life, but there was never a time that she lost touch with her friend. Their bond of friendship is deep. Oprah attributes much of her personal growth to poet and author Maya Angelou who she regards as a mentor, friend and sister.

   
   

   6. Think about others –
      While many may refer to Oprah as a tycoon who has the power to influence, biggest wealth and legacy is her ability to think big, and think big for others. Oprah figures in every statistics that deal with wealth and fortune because of her professional success, at the same time she is also listed for her generous donations from her personal wealth for humanitarian causes. Her philanthropic work is commendable. The magnitude of her thought is felt by all because she thinks about everyone else and not just herself.

   Think You wishes you a happy fulfilling experience in the journey of your life – “Live your best Life (O, The Oprah Magazine)”.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/6-lessons-from-oprah-winfrey-life-and-career/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-3/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=simple-and-direct-language-3 http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-3/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:14:46 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6249

   

   Further to our much appreciated series of ‘Indianisms’ concluding in the December 2011 issue, Think Tip’s new series brings you suggestions with examples of how to simplify your language.

   We spend a great deal of time in written correspondence, whether through letters or emails. A good aid to write crisp and clear language is by eliminating unnecessary words and phrases which we have unconsciously been using.

   Our suggested substitution is not merely simple and plain. It is direct and powerful: more effective therefore. Try it!

   Simple substitutes for words and phrases which we commonly use:

   Example 1

   There was an abundance of solutions discussed in the meeting.

   Simple way : There were plenty of solutions discussed in the meeting.

   Example 2

   It took hours to breach the security code.

   Simple way : It took hours to break the security code.

   Example 3

   You are expected to guide the project till its completion.

   Simple way : You are expected to guide the project till its end.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-3/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/ustad-amjad-ali-khan/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ustad-amjad-ali-khan http://thinklink.in/ustad-amjad-ali-khan/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:12:18 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6274

   

   In continuation with our series on artists and their mastery, Think Link Multimedia brings you a short clip of India’s gem – Ustad Amjad Ali Khan and a little about his journey as an artist.

   Whether talent makes the artist or is it by attaining technical perfection is an unresolved debate. In reality, it is the perseverance of uncountable hours over endless number of years and dedication to the art that makes an artist what he is. Their art becomes effortless as they have honed it through strict discipline and single-minded focus.

   Sarod maestro Ustad Amjad Ali Khan is the sixth generation of musicians carrying forth the glorious tradition handed over to him by his father, Hafiz Ali Khan, court musician of Gwalior. The birth of the sarod can be attributed to his family as his ancestors made the instrument as we see today. Technically, the sarod descended from the rhabab, a musical instrument of Afghanistan. It is by far more difficult to play as compared to other string instruments, because it does not have frets.

   His father, who was also his guru, was a strict teacher. He grew up with the immense responsibility of being chosen as the heir to his father’s musical legacy – a role which he has lived every moment of his life to uphold with utmost dedication. Apart from music, discipline and perfection, he learnt the value of respect for elders, for tradition, for mankind.

   As a father and guru to his two sons he has been gentle in his approach and took utmost care to never impose his limitless talent or his expectations on them. But he gave them an environment that would nurture their interest in music. In his words, he considers his sons Amaan and Ayaan as very fine musicians and continues to teach them the value of being good human beings first. His wife Subhalakshmi Khan was a Bharatnatyam dancer who gave up her dancing career and joined him selflessly in bringing up their sons and nurturing the family with her artistic gift.

   A strong believer in tradition and purity, his life is an inspiration of single minded devotion. His demeanor is marked by humility. He has composed many Ragas himself, and yet demurely explains that he has only discovered them. He has popularized Indian Classical music through his creative experimentations and innovations. His music speaks to everyone, the musical and the non-musical. Instrumental music is free of language barriers and hence can be called a true medium for bringing mankind together. Majestically and yet humbly playing his instrument since he was six years of age, the maestro has spread the message of peace, love and humanity all over the world.

   Let us watch a glimpse of his vibrancy as an artist in the two clips below:
   
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/ustad-amjad-ali-khan/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/10-ways-to-handle-sibling-rivalry/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=10-ways-to-handle-sibling-rivalry http://thinklink.in/10-ways-to-handle-sibling-rivalry/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:07:54 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6227

   When a child is born, it fills the house with love and laughter. As he grows with tender love and care from the parents and family, it becomes the central point of every activity. Parents try their best to ensure that its needs and interests are at the heart of everything the family does. And then, when another child is born, parents are overjoyed for being twice blessed. Their love knows no bounds, but their focus shifts.

   The arrival of another child often, unfortunately, causes turbulence either in the elder one alone or subsequently in both the siblings. In such cases when children begin to experience rivalry with the sibling they find themselves distressed and helpless. Parents find it agonizing to see their children not being able to love another and instead wedged in never-ending quarrel. Sometimes children are able to resolve their differences on their own, but if their hostility becomes a regular feature and disturbs the peace of the house, it would be wise for the parents to intervene. Sibling rivalry is a very generic term; hence you need to find the specific thing which is causing the tremors among your children.

   Here are 10 simple ways which would help to deal with the issue of sibling rivalry:

   1. Tell them they are special –
      When a younger sibling is born the older one feels robbed of attention. However, at the same time, the older one has more defined activities where parents participate with concern, the younger one may feel unimportant. It is very complex then to distinguish whether the children are competing with one another or against your unequal distribution of attention. Reassure them by making them feel special and needed for their special qualities.

   
   

   2. Build their self-worth positively –
      The children must be able to view themselves as healthy and able individuals. How they deal with the sibling depends greatly on how they cope with their own strengths and weaknesses. Never compare the children with one another. It demoralizes them, as well as brings about a sense of negative competition.

   
   

   3. Value their differences –
      Each child is different, even twins have distinct characters. Understand the temperaments and inclination of your children. Your children may simply have separate view points which could be leading to hostility. Perhaps they both need to be explained separately, and in different ways.

   
   

   4. Be fair –
      Give equal shares in what you divide among the children, whether it is the space, toys, treats or whatever your children view as a coveted opportunity. Sometimes a child may not be able to express, but there could be a grudge you unintentionally caused in him by not being fair in your practice.

   
   

   5. Find a win-win situation –
      Very often, one of the siblings is more assertive and expressive about his needs than the other. In such situations a ‘quick-fix’ way which parents adopt for handling the conflict is by pacifying the more aggressive of the two. We must realize that suppressing the feeling of another child is going to cause irreparable harm. Parental intervention must always be balanced and hear both sides of the story. Let neither child feel favoured or ignored. In this way children learn to deal with disappointment and also the fact that they must be willing to give if they wish to get.

   
   

   6. Be firm –
      Whether your children are young or older, they must realize the authority of the parent and respect it. Though you need not have an autocratic setup in your home, but it has great meaning for your children to know that your word is final. Since parents have a demanding professional life, and plenty of other responsibilities which exhausts them, they tend to give in all too soon when it comes to issues at home. It is understandable that they would try to avoid confronting in the interest of peace keeping in the house. But sooner or later when disagreement erupts, your voice must prevail. They should know you are in charge and not the other way around.

   
   

   7. Encourage activities for them to bond –
      Find a passion the children share. There would certainly be activities that your children enjoy, common things like biking, going out for a movie, sports etc. Cultivate hobbies where they can both participate enthusiastically. It would bring them together and also build a bridge for them to shower love on one another.

      A little variation would be to allow the children to be pitted against an external entity than one another. You could expect them to stand up for one another. Allow them to play in the same team, as brothers and sisters. The sweet bond of being together as a team always brings people close and dissolves differences. They will win together, lose together, and the most important aspect would be that they must be in it together.

   
   

   8. Have them do a selfless deed for the other –
      This is an age old method of bringing people close and erasing scars. Let them do something significant which comes as a surprise to the other. And let that be repaid as a surprise too. Nothing melts ones heart than discovering a good deed done most unselfishly. It will sow the seeds of gratitude and love is sure to blossom among the siblings. It is a little parenting ‘game’ that really goes a long way. But you must carry it out with great care.

   
   

   9. Check your own disposition –
      Resolve your issues with the spouse or any one else peacefully and respectfully. How you react to unpleasant situations and people around you is what your children are watching even without them or you realizing it. If your disagreements with the spouse always lead to arguments and severe trepidations, you cannot blame the children for being hostile to one another. They simply have not learnt a better way to express. Sadly, this is something many parents are guilty of at some point in time or other. Calm yourself and your own responses first if you expect it from your children. It is an inescapable fact that children reflect our own behaviour.

   
   

   10. Spread warmth and love –
       Cold and indifferent environment causes a great deal of emotional imbalance in the children. They may feel insecure and could grow up to be insensitive. As mentioned before, sibling rivalry may stem from a source which lies completely outside. If you sense even a faint shadow of unconcerned and apathetic attitude in your house, dispel it with your warmth. Even a simple conversation may clear the air.

       Practice and teach forgiveness. Children may be holding things against one another, and not willing to let go. Even when it seems like a challenge to forgive someone, show your children to get over differences and the value of love and kindness and help children understand the triviality of their differences. You must help them see in your actions and then lead them on to it. Be generous with your love. Acknowledge help, appreciate others, and give a gift without reason.

       Such is the wonder of life that love does not get divided with more children, it multiplies. There is no such issue in a family which love cannot conquer, but there must be love in abundance.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/10-ways-to-handle-sibling-rivalry/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-get-more-joy-out-of-reading/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=9-ways-to-get-more-joy-out-of-reading http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-get-more-joy-out-of-reading/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:46:34 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6095

   As parents, we want our children to develop the ability to think. Thinking requires the mind to be constantly fuelled and re-fuelled by creative inputs. One of the best activities to revitalize the mind is by reading. But there are so many things children read, and also, so much that they have already read. It is a little challenge for them to remember everything they read. At the same time, we need to ensure comprehension and application of the learning gained through reading. Let us explore nine very interesting methods through which you can help your child get more out of reading as an activity. They will enhance your pleasure at the same time make the learning more permanent in your child’s mind:

   1. Mark passages and discuss :
      Encourage reading with a marker. Ask your child to mark passages which he finds inspiring and truly moving. When reading is over, you can revisit the selected passages. Ask your child what they liked about it and why they consider it important. You will also get to see how your child thinks, and perceives information.

   
   

   2. Do a picture collage :
      As a further activity, help your child to find pictures of the images which are depicted in the story. This helps to exercise their imagination and creative interpretation of what they read. Through this activity, you can help him to focus on details mentioned in the text. So if your child has read a particular classic, ask him to find pictures of the house in which he thinks the story takes place based on the description in the narrative. If your child has the gift of painting, encourage them to paint and express their feeling and mental images formed while reading the book.

   
   

   3. Character sketch :
      To enable your child to examine, appreciate and understand people’s behaviour, the activity of ‘character sketch’ is very effective. It builds your child’s ability to analyze and express. Select three main characters from the story and ask your child to write a note on each of these characters. Emphasize on what he learned from the characters. It will help him to look for the good in people and learn from their goodness.

   
   

   4. Watch movie and theatrical adaptations :
      You would be able to find movie adaptations of many famous classics and novels. Let your child experience the story in a new medium further to reading it. It heightens mental involvement and retention, and also helps him to understand appreciate and critique art and literature.

   
   

   5. Write a review :
      Another good exercise for enhancing reading and understanding is by writing a review. A significant learning here would be for the child, to write an unbiased review. That teaches how to examine information in a matured way. People do get carried away and find it difficult to express objectively. A good reviewer is honest, sincere and unbiased. Help your child to develop these qualities of responsible readership as well.

   
   

   6. Write a new ending :
      An effective way to encourage lateral thinking in your child is by asking him to write an alternative ending to the story. Here children learn to think about ‘what could have been’. They learn to think of different possibilities in a given situation. It is an interesting way to train their minds for exploring beyond the present situation.

   
   

   7. Read the life and times of the author :
      To gain greater depths in understanding a book, a recommended method is to read the life and times of its author. There is great inspiration to be found as your child can learn how adversity and calamity can inspire man equally as beauty and nature do. Your child will also learn how man copes with life and its challenges through the gift of literature. In addition, you can identify and encourage reading on related topics.

   
   

   8. Retelling in a new setting :
      Adaptation is a very important necessity of living. If we can teach our minds to adapt, we will find it easier to adjust in a new and unfamiliar setting. You can attempt to teach adaptation to your child by asking him to re-tell the story in a different context: in a different country and cultural setting, in a different period of time, or even by simply changing the gender of the protagonist! Children will learn to understand that with the change in environmental setting, the story is bound to change. It will surely enable them to be more flexible and better adjusted as human beings.

   
   

   Discover the joy of reading!

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/9-ways-to-get-more-joy-out-of-reading/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/ustad-bismillah-khan/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ustad-bismillah-khan http://thinklink.in/ustad-bismillah-khan/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:20:45 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6159

   In continuation with our series on artists and their mastery, Think Link Multimedia brings you a short clip of India’s immortal gem – Ustaad Bismillah Khan and a little about his journey as an artist.

   The debate is endless whether talent makes the artist or is it by attaining technical perfection. In reality, it is the perseverance of uncountable hours over endless number of years and dedication to the art that makes an artist what he is. Their art is effortless as they have honed it through strict discipline and single-minded focus.

   Beginning as a boy when he was just six years old, Ustaad Bismillah Khan learned to play the shehnai, an instrument which rose to international identity through him and shall remain so forever. Initially going against his father’s wishes, his love for the shehnai was such that he could commit himself to nothing else, not even formal education! He learned under the guidance of his maternal uncle, his mamu and gave his debut public recital at 14 years of age in the year 1930, at the Allahabad Music Conference. Ustaadji was also trained in vocal music and being in Varanasi had the natural flair for thumris.

   Ustaadji is known for the purity of his heart with which he dissolved boundaries between countries and religions. He offered his namaaz through music and worshipped the Ganges through his riyaaz. Completely irreverent of material possessions, the only true wealth that Ustadji possessed was his music. Though fame poured in from all sides, it could never seep in to the austere life he led. He is known to be very generous to others.

   Ustad Bismillah Khan had the rare honour of performing in the Red Fort (Delhi) on 15th August 1947 when India gained independence. Ever after, he became the common aspect of the nation celebrations.

   While his career took him far and wide, his heart remained forever on the bank of the Ganges, in Varanasi. He is said to have famously refused citizenship during a tour of Europe saying “Ganga idhar bahti hai kya?” His simple honest and powerful stance left everyone speechless.

   Let us watch him play Raag Brindabani Sarang, and experience the wonder of his talent to bring the music alive. His devotion is truly inspiring. We are also including a clip where he is being interviewed, which is a rare occasion as he believed that he gave all his answers through his music. Please view to get inspired.
   
   
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/ustad-bismillah-khan/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=simple-and-direct-language-2 http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-2/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:07:51 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6110

   
   “What shall we discuss about today?”
   “Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”
   You don’t “discuss about” something; you just discuss things.
   The word “discuss” means to “talk about”. There is no reason to insert the word “about” after “discuss.”
   That would be like saying “talk about.”

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language-2/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/5-learnings-from-e-sreedharan/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-learnings-from-e-sreedharan http://thinklink.in/5-learnings-from-e-sreedharan/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:00:52 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6120

   A man who by the virtue of his hard work and dedication brought comfort to the lives of masses, E. Sreedharan is an icon of our times. His work and vision has redefined public transport, be it the Delhi Metro as well as several projects with Railways across India. He is known for his clear thinking and adherence to deadlines. At the age of 79, he handed over the reins as the Managing Director of Delhi Metro Rail Corporation(DMRC), a responsibility he shouldered for a decade and a half, on 31st December 2011 having magnanimously transformed the lives of millions of people.

   Here are five very powerful lessons to be learnt from the exemplary life of E.Sreedharan :

   1. Let deadlines motivate you rather than pressurize you
      In the earlier part of his career, Sreedharan faced 20 job transfers due to his dedication to deadlines, perhaps because his work ethics were difficult for others to match up to. Nevertheless, he remained undeterred in his method and approach. He took up the daunting task to restore a bridge within a tight deadline of six months. By the time he assumed the task, the time was reduced to half, yet, Sreedharan was able to accomplish the unimagined, by completing the restoration work in 46 days and making the bridge operational.

      Can we ever imagine ourselves taking up a task whose deadline approaches twice as fast! It would render us distressed and distraught. And may be we would try to find a route to evade and escape. This example teaches us that we must look at the deadline from a perspective of being a motivator than a stressor. We may never know, it could bring out the best in us!

   2. Start your day early, finish your day early
      Inspite of handling projects of such magnitude, Sreedharan is known to never have stayed in the office beyond 6pm, and has never liked people working late too. He was simply disciplined and gave his hundred percent when on the job. It is also known that he is a very early riser, waking up at the crack of dawn and retiring to bed early to allow himself the required rest. His personal habits allow him to devote time to his health, do yoga, and keep himself filled with youthful energy even at a ripe old age of 79.

      When we have a busy schedule, we find it to be an easy excuse to not be able to take care of our health. Your waking time is a critical aspect which decides how much you will get out of your day, and eventually your life.

   3. Work with honesty, others will co-operate
      Sreedharan has help thousands of people to success. But when asked, he has not claimed a method to his leadership. He has simply done his best, with full devotion and with a sense of honesty. People have looked up to him and in return have reciprocated by doing their best too.

      He has set an example. People have followed. He is a man who has led people by his personal power though he wielded immense positional power.

   4. Believe in your self, believe in the impossible
      His career has seen many occasions where he has gone against the tide when he was convinced of his own purpose. Thus making him a self-driven and persevering professional. He has been able to achieve what no one before him could even have imagined. The summary of his industrious career is for us to enjoy, as we shall all travel with comfort and speed ever after because of him. His work with the DMRC has put the name of Delhi’s metro rail facility on the world map, at par with international standards.

      Though we all have the potential, yet we may find it difficult to answer ourselves whether we have given our best always and been able to create unprecedented results. Let us take inspiration from Sreedharan’s life to do our best in all that we take up, and achieve the unachievable.

   5. Let awards and accolades not affect you, and similarly, let not criticism deter you.
      Many awards and accolades have come his way, but Sreedharan was never to be carried away. He has been decorated with Padma Vibhushan as well as many other prestigious awards internationally. But to this day, he remains a humble man whom we have not seen much in the newspaper or other media. He has silently toiled, without being moved by praise or criticism.

      We all desire praise, but we forget that praise and criticism are both meant to make us better provided we know how to take it in our stride. Let us not make it our goal to achieve praise and reward but set personal standards for excellence. Also, when we meet unjust criticism, let us not become bitter but accept it as someone’s opinion. To be able to remain focused and passionate about our work we must be able to remain poised in both of these emotionally stirring situations.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/5-learnings-from-e-sreedharan/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/perfection-is-paralysis/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=perfection-is-paralysis http://thinklink.in/perfection-is-paralysis/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:58:09 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=6136

   
   I learnt a lot from the following: “Statistics are often used as a drunkard uses a lamp post, not to light his way but to support his instability”!

   Whenever we collect business statistics, we must keep these words in mind. Collection of statistics costs a lot of money and time and if not done wisely can mean money down the drain. But when collecting statistics using a bit of commonsense and experience statistics can help in making a better and faster decisions.

   Learn to sharpen your skills, after you have collected the statistics, to use the concept of approximation. An educated guess often may be cheaper and faster than collecting detailed information. Statistics are no substitute to judgements! Most of us can recall the story about the statistician, going by the average depth of a river, drowned in the middle!

   Sharpen your judgement and consider statistics only as one of the inputs.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/perfection-is-paralysis/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=simple-and-direct-language http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:55:51 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5918

   Indianisms are certain grammatical errors in English language that are very common in India. We will be covering some of these in the following issues of Tip of the Month. One of them is given below:-

   Prepone

   The word prepone to mean “to move forward in time,” is a word coined by English speakers in India.

   Example: The examination set for March 12 has been preponed to February 16.

   ‘Prepone’ is not an English word. It’s commonly used in Indian subcontinent to mean the opposite of ‘post-pone’, but the rest of the world is largely unaware of it.

   Some existing antonyms for postpone are “bring forward, move up, advance.” Ex. The ten o’clock meeting has been moved forward to nine.
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/simple-and-direct-language/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/you-cant-change-anyone-unless-you-change-yourself-first/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-cant-change-anyone-unless-you-change-yourself-first http://thinklink.in/you-cant-change-anyone-unless-you-change-yourself-first/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:52:21 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=5885

   You cannot change anyone. You can’t change your father, mother, wife, brother, sister, son, daughter, not even your boss! Only person you can change in this world is yourself! This is my “R&D”!

   I got inspired by:

   “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.”

   Years ago, I read in the Minneapolis Tribune that quite often we change our jobs, friends and spouses instead of ourselves. Let us take the case of changing jobs. Many of us are not happy in our jobs or our businesses. It is because we do not change ourselves to suit the requirements of our organization, job and boss. In the process, we feel cheated and become unhappy. There is no problem with anyone else or the world, the problem is in our head and our heart.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/you-cant-change-anyone-unless-you-change-yourself-first/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/5-activities-for-spending-quality-time-with-your-child/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-activities-for-spending-quality-time-with-your-child http://thinklink.in/5-activities-for-spending-quality-time-with-your-child/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:49:10 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5900

   Children, no matter how noisy or troublesome they are, all parents feel that they grow up too soon and go their own way seeking their fortune. As long as they are small and with you, make the most of their childhood. Make their childhood memorable by actively participating in activities with them, around them. It is important to select an activity based on your child’s developmental level, temperament and inclination, instead of your own! While some parents are lucky to have extra-curricular talents, that is not essential.

   Everybody is good at something.

   Here are five simple activities you can do with your child. They do not require great investment in terms of time or money yet they would be a great source of joy for you:
   
   

   1. Cycling : While your neighbourhood is still asleep, it can be fun and invigorating to take your child out on his cycle while you accompany on yours. Cycling has many benefits. In addition to building endurance and strengthening your child, it also energizes you. Cycling is a very interesting way to build your child’s confidence too. It gives them a sense of navigating in traffic as well as being independent and taking quick decisions wherever need be. As you start gaining more interest in the activity, you will be able to discover newer dimensions about it. A cycle ride can be a unique bonding activity you can share with your child.

   
   

   2. Swimming : For those hot summer months where you cannot think of doing any physical activity, take a plunge into the pool – enroll your child and yourself in a swimming club. It is refreshing, cooling and above all, a great fitness mantra! Just like cycling, it builds your endurance and boosts your muscle strength without causing strain to the joints. This makes it suitable for all ages.
      
      Swimming can be deeply relaxing if you let yourself go. Floating in water can be amazingly calming to your mind and very rejuvenating for the spirit. Your child will learn skills for life through these activities, which are not possible to teach in any other environment.

   
   

   3. Gardening : Gift your child a garden and watch him grow with it! Whatever the amount of sunlight or space constraint you may have, there is always room for a few greens in the house. Learn about indoor plants and get some for your house. Mint and coriander are easy to grow herbs that are used abundantly in our kitchen. Let your child grow these herbs in a small kitchen garden. If you have a balcony, ask your local gardener what is most suitable for that space. Have your child paint the flower pots too!
      
      The presence of green plants in the house is a beautiful way to create a positive and healthy atmosphere. Teach your child to take care of his little garden. In addition to watering, let him help in activities that are required for the maintenance of the garden. The child will learn how to be responsible and take care of another living thing. And it helps him find a connection with Mother Nature. As for your efforts to maintain the garden, it will be very rewarding when you see it blooming.

   
   

   4. Reading : Reading is one of the most repeated suggestions to parents. It is not without a reason, because reading is extremely fulfilling, intellectually and emotionally stimulating, yet physically least demanding. You can indulge in a quiet hour with the child even after a long day’s work. A book and a cozy seating is all you need.
      
      Even toddlers can respond to stories. For those who have the special talent to read aloud, it is an added joy. You can have your child play a part in the story while you play another!

      For those whose children are older, and who no longer need to read to them, you can read in one another’s company. Set aside a time dedicated to reading. A good read is always followed by a great conversation as there is so much to share. Listening to your child’s perspective and interpretation would be greatly enjoyable. No matter how old your child is, and even if it is the first time in years that you have picked up a book, indulge yourself in the pleasure of reading.

   
   

   5. Journaling : When your child has a special experience of traveling, meets an eminent personality, or undertakes an activity like going to the museum or to the theatre, how do you preserve the moment? Encourage the child to write a journal. Some children dedicatedly maintain an everyday log of events. If that is slightly beyond you as a beginner, try for a weekly one.
      
      Journaling is as much about writing as it is about observing, remembering, expressing and the discipline to do it routinely. Blogging is another interesting way to journaling online, where you can attach the pictures to share with friends and relatives. Over the years you would discover that your child’s skills in language and expression to have evolved.
      
      For smaller children whose writing skills have not developed yet, scrap-booking would be an alternative way. You can help your child to recreate images and experience by cutting and pasting pictures from old magazines and newspapers and labeling them creatively. It is a fun way to impart a priceless skill of keeping a record of one’s experiences and learning.
   ]]> http://thinklink.in/5-activities-for-spending-quality-time-with-your-child/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/pandit-brijmohan-nath-mishra/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=pandit-brijmohan-nath-mishra http://thinklink.in/pandit-brijmohan-nath-mishra/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:44:47 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=6021

   An artist is one who has mastery over his body and mind – where the body obeys the mind. Practicing classical art forms is an all-round development of the faculties of our mind. It lays immense emphasis on discipline patience and continuous self-improvement. The finest aspect of this education is the development of the feelings and emotions within the person and its correct, balanced and regulated expression.

   It is not always true that talent alone makes an artist. Neither is it flawless technique. In reality, it is the uncountable years of perseverance and dedication to the art that makes performing an effortless.

   Inside every artist is an inspiring story of his will to perform his best. Think Link dedicates its multi-media section to the success and hard work of artists who have dedicated their lives to serve and preserve our cultural heritage. Their ceaseless enthusiasm to impart training has built a rich legacy of students who in turn, carry on the tradition in the spirit of their guru. Think Multimedia section, has a video clip and an article about a distinguished artist who has achieved great success in his artisitic expedition – Pt. Brijmohan Nath Mishra, popularly known as Pt. Birju Maharaj.

   Pandit Brijmohan Nath Mishra, popularly known as Birju Maharaj is an internationally renowned Kathak dancer. He was born in 1937 in an illustrious family of dance masters of the Lucknow gharana and trained by his father Acchan Maharaj and uncles, Shambhu Maharaj and Lachhu Maharaj, all renowned dancers of that time.

   After the unfortunate demise of his father when he was just 9 years old, Pandit-ji’s family moved to Delhi. Once in Delhi, he started to teach Kathak at the young age of just 13! He then taught at the Bharatiya Kala Kendra in Delhi, and at the Kathak Kendra (a unit of the Sangeet Natak Academy) where he was Head of Faculty, and Director. After retiring in 1998, he started Kalashram, his own Indian Fine Arts Academy. He is widely acclaimed not only as a performer but also as an inspiring ‘Guru’ (teacher).

   Pandit Birju Maharaj is not just a flawless dancer, but a fabulous singer and percussionist. He has mastered the Hindustani Classical Music as well. This multi-faceted personality is also a superb choreographer and composer, having composed for many popular movies as well. He has toured all over the world and his students are spread far and wide.

   He is the recipient of India‟s second highest Civilian Award – Padma Vibhushan. A measure of this legendary genius is the fact that he received the prestigious Sangeet Natak Academy Award at the age of just 28 years. Besides, he has also won many other honors and accolades. It is due to his constant efforts that Kathak has reached new heights of popularity and acceptance in India and abroad.

   In an interview Birju Maharaj told that when he moved out of Lucknow to try his fortune as a dancer, his mother told him, Birjubeta, do not forget your daily riyaaz. Whether you eat less or do not have enough clothes to wear, you must remember your father’s words: practise every day. He used to practise for nearly four-and-a-half hours daily during his early years.He also plays the tabla, sitar, flute, drums and violin. He also writes, just like his grandfather did. He writes poems.

   Please view the link below to get inspired by this maestro.
   
   
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/pandit-brijmohan-nath-mishra/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/living-happily-living-long-10-inspiring-thoughts-from-dr-shigeaki-hinohara/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=living-happily-living-long-10-inspiring-thoughts-from-dr-shigeaki-hinohara http://thinklink.in/living-happily-living-long-10-inspiring-thoughts-from-dr-shigeaki-hinohara/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:09:56 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5887

   

   Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara of Japan, who turned 100 on 4th October 2011, is world’s longest serving physician. Starting from 1941, his service has entered the eighth decade. His power of healing and giving mankind a better life is extra-ordinary. His career marked by kindness, perseverance, and a positive vision dedicated to make people’s life happy and healthy. His life and work is an inspiration and a lesson in living well.

   Here are ten inspiring lessons from the life and experiences shared by Doctor Hinohara to live with renewed vigor and spirit as you usher in the New Year 2012.

    

    

    

   Living happily, living long – 10 inspiring thoughts from Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara :

   1. Feeling good is most important
      As compared to eating well or sleeping enough, it is most important to feel good. Just as children do not remember to eat or sleep when they are playing, if we as adults can rekindle the same spiritedness we would feel the energy inside us.

   
   

   2. Manage your weight
      Your body cannot carry on for long if it has to carry the extra kilos. Eat light and healthy meals. Never burden your stomach. It causes slumber and sluggishness.

   
   

   3. Have a plan to look forward to
      To sustain the vigor of the mind and soul, there has to be a consistent flow of positive, creative and enjoyable activities. The more things you have to look forward to, the more upbeat and interested you would be.

   
   

   4. Enjoy what you do, and then there would be no need to retire
      People who are living and loving every moment of their work have the energy that is unparalleled. It keeps them charged up and going. They naturally have a desire and drive to live longer so that they can do more of what they already like. Till the age of sixty, people are concerned about providing for the family. Thereafter, the purpose of work could be much larger – for society and mankind. Those who think beyond there immediate duties and attachments realize that the amount of work is immense and they have no thought of retiring once they set themselves on that path.

   
   

   5. Reach out and share what you have learnt
      Learned people are everywhere, but it is rare to find those who make active effort to share what they know. There must be an inner realization of giving back, so that others can benefit. Try to find ways to share your knowledge and wisdom you have gathered through your experience. It enriches your own life too.

   
   

   6. Give nature a chance
      Every ailment has a scientific cure. But science has its limitations because sometimes illness in the mind and worse still, in the heart. For true healing there is greater power in the beauty and abundance of nature. Be it in the form of a garden, or a pet or simply the songs of birds, what the soul needs cannot be prescribed by a doctor nor can it be provided by the chemist. Indulge in art, music and the beauty of nature, because we too are a part of it.

   
   

   7. Climb the stairs
      Easy ways to keep your muscles healthy and going strong is to never miss an opportunity to use them. Resist taking the lift or escalator. Take the stairs instead. The benefit add up in the long run.

   
   

   8. Be moderate about money and material
      After all the things that bring us deepest and lasting joy are those which cannot be bought by money. Spending the greatest part of your life acquiring wealth is hardly the best use of your life. Money is important, but contentment, even more.

   
   

   9. Expect some unexpected incidents
      Life is unpredictable, so naturally a lot of times unexpected things will happen. Some pleasant and some not quite. Take things in your stride. Man is engineered to be able to thrive and not merely survive. Make the most of every situation, there is always something to learn from each experience.

   
   

   10. Find a role model
       Set yourself a target higher than ordinary or normal. You would be surprised at the ability of a goal to propel you to higher levels. Have a role model, in fact have as many people who can inspire you to do your best. Examine your challenges using their perspective. It would unleash your inner potential, what you may not have even known.
   ]]> http://thinklink.in/living-happily-living-long-10-inspiring-thoughts-from-dr-shigeaki-hinohara/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/emmanuel-kelly/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=emmanuel-kelly http://thinklink.in/emmanuel-kelly/#comments Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:59:04 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5837

   
   
   Even though he is only 17 years old, Emmanuel Kelly has taken Australia by storm this fall with his X Factor performances. But he says all of his success could not have happened without his mom, Moira Kelly.

   “My hero would have to be my mother. She worked extremely hard to change my life hugely,” Emmanuel told X Factor judges before his first performance in September.

   Moira, 47, has given her adult life to helping disadvantaged children around the world, including working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta.

   “Moira is very determined, very single-minded and, sometimes, challenging too,” chuckles Margaret Smith, a good friend of Moira’s for over 27 years, who also serves as chief executive of her charity, the Children First Foundation.

   “Her Catholic faith has been her driving force to keep going and keep doing all this in New York’s Bronx, Calcutta, the Kalahari, Western Australia and all around the world.”

   The Foundation describes its mission as transforming “the lives of children who need us most by giving hope, exceptional care and pathways to a brighter future.” Their “Miracle Smiles” program brings children in need of life-saving or life-changing surgery from the developing world to Australia to receive the care they need.

   Because of her desire to help children in such dire straights, Moira went to war-torn Iraq in the mid 1990s. While she was there Moira came across Emmanuel and his brother Ahmed in an orphanage run by Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity. The baby boys had been found by the nuns in a shoe box in a Baghdad park. Both were suffering from limb deficiencies because of chemical warfare.

   “It was like looking at an angel when mum, Moira Kelly, walked through the orphanage door,” Emmanuel told the talent show judges. “She brought us both to Australia for surgery originally and then mum sort of fell in love with both of us.”

   Soon thereafter, Moira became legal guardian for both boys.

   “I think one of the most wonderful things about Moira is that she accepts every child is accepted for who they are,” said her friend Margaret. “It takes a gutsy person to devote their life in this way rather than go out and earn a big salary.”

   With the love and support of Moira, 19-year-old Ahmed has now set his sights on a swimming gold in the 2012 Paralympics in London. Meanwhile, Emmanuel is contemplating a music career, despite his exit from X Factor.

   “Moira is thrilled to bits. We all are,” said Magaret, “it’s been a wonderful exercise for him.

   “He knows he’s going to have to work at it very hard but we’ve always known he’s got a wonderful voice.”

   Please click on the link below to view and be inspired by Emmanuel Kelly.
   
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/emmanuel-kelly/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/years-back/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=years-back http://thinklink.in/years-back/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:47:38 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5820

   

   Indianisms are certain grammatical errors in English language that are very common in India. We   will be covering some of these in the following issues of Tip of the Month. One of them is given below:-

   ‘Years back’

   If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not “years back.”

   Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched “ago” for “back” probably did it years back. And speaking of “back,” asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.

   “So when did you buy this car?”

   “Oh, years back.”

   “Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/years-back/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/parenting-the-shy-child/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=parenting-the-shy-child http://thinklink.in/parenting-the-shy-child/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:07:55 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5775

   
   
   Everyone is swept by the present environment of self-expression and free speech. The only ones to be left behind are those who are more reserved and shy in nature. Being shy is a matter of choice and mental orientation of a person. Some like to keep more to themselves while others can open up easily and with every one. For adults it is not a matter of worry. But often parents who notice their child to be a little shy are concerned about the child’s social well-being. In some cases, shyness may mean a little less achievement in academics as there could be lost opportunities. It may cause your child to be lonely due to his inability to connect. At times, it may distance the child from his own parents.

   To help your child overcome shyness and become more open, here are some simple things you can do as a parent:

   1. Never label the child
      The first important change has to come in your approach towards the child. Labeling ‘my child is shy’ is going to make your task not just difficult, but all the more exasperating. Adults who interact with your child must also be made aware of the fact that when we use a label, the child has little option but to behave any different from it. Being shy is not a stigma, it is just how the child behaves. Children hear the disappointment in the tone of their parent when they call their child shy and it hurts them.

   
   

   2. Teach the child to be independent
      Sometimes over-protectiveness on the part of the parent causes shyness. Parents who are always speaking up for the child or helping the child tend to overshadow the child. Begin with making your child independent and building your child’s self-esteem. Let him do his things on his own and appreciate him for his efforts as well as what he achieves. When your child is combing his hair on his own, naturally it will not be very neat. Be appreciative and do not make fun. Let him tie his shoe laces by himself. When children feel confident of themselves, they will not try to hold back.

   
   

   3. Understand the real emotion behind the behavior
      Shyness is not an emotion. It is a response from the child when he finds himself in a new situation. Your child may be unprepared for a public speaking event and appears shy to speak. It may well be that your child is pre-occupied with thoughts of his own and hence not participative enough to speak up. Perhaps there is something your child does not approve of, or finds discomforting which he cannot express. Ask simple questions like, did you enjoy the snacks? Which song did you want to hear instead? Who did you find to be the funniest? This information is very crucial to enable your understanding of your child’s orientation and observations of the situation. Pay attention to the information you gather. It will lead you to the next step.

   
   

   4. Don’t force the child to be a ‘performer’
      When guests come, most parents cannot resist asking their child to recite a newly learnt poem, song, etc. Imagine yourself having to perform in front of a different age group, whether or not you know them, regardless of your own mood, and without a convincing reason. You will perhaps do everything to avoid finding yourself in that situation ever again.

      Parents love to hear their child’s poem, again and again. The sad truth is, not all of your guests are genuinely interested. You may not have noticed it, but the child has. Going deeper into the situation, you would surely get to know how you have played a part in the child’s behaviour, in spite of your best intentions.

      A more positive approach to sharing your child’s talent is to ask your child to prepare his favourite story or song in advance. Let him choose who he would like to perform before. You could also encourage your guest’s child to prepare as well. This would be a healthy and positive way to enjoy your child’s talent.

   
   

   5. Introduce the child to newer environments
      Sometimes what we judge as shyness is only the initial anxiety or discomfort which the child faces in a new environment. That feeling is natural and normal. An effective way to help your child deal with new situations is to expose the child to new environments very gently, but regularly. Let him watch a street performer, or a candle light protest, a potter or a librarian at work. Show him various kinds of people, professions and activities. This will help him to understand and appreciate all kinds of people. It will make it easier for him to connect.

   
   

   6. Take small steps
      Even if you are doing all that has been suggested, do not expect a drastic change. In fact that is not desirable either. Give time to your child to adapt his natural responses to the new environments and activities he is being put through. Your child will not take you by surprise here, but he would gradually show signs of becoming more comfortable and relaxed in new environments.

      Try this : when you are buying something for the child, instead of asking the child to speak to the sales person let him pay the cashier. A cashier is more reserved as compared to the sales person and therefore does not come as a contrast to your child’s behaviour. A book shop is quieter compared to other stores. Let him choose the story book on his own. Take the child to a story reading session or a musical play. Though these are interactive performances, these are not noisy and overwhelming for the child.

   
   

   You must be very careful to keep your actions extremely mild and never lose patience. Anything extreme would upset the child as shy children are more sensitive and perceptive about their environment.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/parenting-the-shy-child/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/how-to-enjoy-a-party-responsibly/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-enjoy-a-party-responsibly http://thinklink.in/how-to-enjoy-a-party-responsibly/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 05:31:46 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5759

   
   
   As the year draws to a close, everyone is gearing up to celebrate the year that was and to usher in the new. It is a great time to meet up with friends and a great opportunity to make new friends. While partying is a very common social gathering, yet the courtesies and consideration required are not that common. Here are some helpful tips for the host and the guest to keep in mind at a party:
   

   For the Host

   1. Be sure of whom you want to invite
      As a host, you may find yourself to be a little anxious as organizing a party means keeping the needs of a number of people in mind. Let these be people whom you really love to be around. A lot of energy, effort and resources are going to be invested in it so you must choose who you are willing to do that for.

   
   

   2. Have sufficient options
      List the preferences of your guests’ much ahead of time so that you can arrange for suitable and sufficient options for everyone. A party is not a test of your individual organizing capability, rather an occasion for everyone’s enjoyment. Do not hesitate therefore to take suggestions for the menu as well as well as quantity.

   
   

   3. Use simple decoration ideas
      People will always remember great food served with warmth than pompous decoration and average food. Fresh flowers and a little creative lighting either with candles or what is available to you should be enough. Select good music which everyone will enjoy. Conserve your energy for the preparing and arranging the food.

   
   

   4. Expect some damages and spillages
      Since everyone is not going to be on their strictly guarded behaviour, a little spillage or breakage due to oversight is normal at a gathering. Do not lay out anything too exotic or too precious as it is impolite to ask your guest to be ‘careful’ with it. Reserve such items for a very private dinner party of just a few people.

   
   

   5. Be a sport yourself
      The best way to ensure your guests are at ease is to enjoy the party yourself as well. Few things may go wrong, but let that not dampen the party spirit. Do not embarrass your guests by losing your calm. A good idea is to not overwork yourself and have enough time to get ready before your guests arrive.

   
   

   6. Allow your guests to participate
      Many of your guests would like to extend a hand. Allow them to participate by sharing small chores. It will keep you free to attend to more things. Some hosts feel uncomfortable allowing their guest to assist. That is very unnecessary, because everyone wants to be useful as they understand that you have put a lot of effort already. And no one wants the host to be stuck up in the kitchen!

   
   

   7. Respond when needed
      If you see two of your guests not getting along well, intervene subtly and politely. Since they are both your friends, you need to take care of both. If you notice irresponsible behaviour especially with alcohol, be firm about calling a cab and do not let them drive. As a friend, you cannot overlook the responsibility to ensure they return home safely.

   
   

   For the Guest
   

   1. Be mindful of your host’s neighbourhood
      Often guests do things which upset the neighbours and landlords and damage the goodwill among them. Being too noisy, parking inappropriately, and littering, to mention a few such actions. Be considerate and courteous to your host by showing respect to his neighbours.

   
   

   2. Bring a snack to share
      The most basic of courtesies to be shown when you are invited is to take a popular snack and enough that everyone can share. Everyone appreciates a ‘little extra’ at a party. If you cannot think of something, and do not know another fellow guest from whom you can take advise; it is best to consult the host. You may have to humbly insist as your host could be a little hesitant.

   
   

   3. Enjoy the company of new people you meet
      A party is a great way to broaden your network. It is relaxed, informal and friendly. You may meet someone with whom you can forge a great relationship as a friend. Meeting new people and enjoying listening to them and their unique sense of humour is a healthy way to unwind. It also puts your host at ease when you are comfortable around the other guests.

   
   

   4. Choose non-controversial and broad topics to talk about
      Some people are anxious in a social setup like a party as they have little experience of talking to people outside their immediate circle. One simple rule is to not make any personal comment or critical remark. Music, sports, recent movies, restaurants make good topics for conversation.

   
   

   5. Appreciate the host’s efforts to put up the entire event
      It may sound clichéd, but appreciating your host’s efforts is a very polite and pleasant gesture which your host will remember always. Your host has taken special effort from his/her schedule to arrange everything to ensure you as their guest have fun. It is natural to express gratitude.

   
   

   6. Help with the winding up as far as possible
      Organizing a party must have taken a lot of effort for your host. Helping to wind up after all the fun is courteous and considerate. There are bound to be spillages and little unintentional mess. Extend your hand for the host. It may encourage other guests to chip in as well. It earns you respect and admiration from your host.

   
   

   7. If you need help, ask
      If you feel uncomfortable or unexpectedly sick take help of your host to arrange you a cab on the way back. Do not drive if you have consumed alcohol. It makes your host feel guilty and brings an unpleasant end to the party. Be moderate, enjoy safely and responsibly.?

   
   

   Think Link wishes you a merry time connecting with your friends and family!

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/how-to-enjoy-a-party-responsibly/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/learn-to-manufacture-postive-thoughts-in-your-thought-factory-your-mind/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=learn-to-manufacture-postive-thoughts-in-your-thought-factory-your-mind http://thinklink.in/learn-to-manufacture-postive-thoughts-in-your-thought-factory-your-mind/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 05:28:57 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=5764

   

   Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character.

   If it is your character to watch your thoughts, words, actions and habits, you will be able to weed out your negative thoughts as they arise. A negative mindset is the result of negative emotions. Once you are aware of this, you will be able to ensure whatever is good for you.

   For controlling my thoughts, I have found a simple way : GIGO vs. BIBO – Good Ideas In Good Ideas Out (GIGO). As you sow, so shall you reap. Bad Ideas In Bad Ideas Out is BIBO.

   I was a winner when I was born. My “competition” was severe. So was yours. Think it over!

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/learn-to-manufacture-postive-thoughts-in-your-thought-factory-your-mind/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/6-common-mistakes-parents-make-when-confronting-the-child/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=6-common-mistakes-parents-make-when-confronting-the-child http://thinklink.in/6-common-mistakes-parents-make-when-confronting-the-child/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:43:53 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5415

   Parents, when they discover something unpleasant and disagreeable about their­­ child’s actions, fear that it reflects as their failure. Is your child hiding something? Read more As a result, a child’s mistake brings out, sometimes very violent reaction from the parent which is unjustifiable. Mistakes are a part of growing up. Parents must know how to handle the child’s mistake wisely. If your child has stolen something, or spoken a lie, it does not mean that he would lack integrity as an adult. You need to help your child to see what is right and support him to walk on the right path.

   When confronting your child, though it may be an uncomfortable situation but crucial for both of you. It gives the child a sense of discipline, along with the idea of what is ‘okay’ and what isn’t. Here are some common mistakes parents make when they are faced with the child’s mistake and they need to confront the child:

   1. Don’t delay
      Sometimes parents are aware of what has happened but do not confront the child as they either fear the child’s reaction or are unsure of themselves as to how to go about it. Once you know that there is something your child has done which needs to be checked, don’t delay. When the mistake goes unchecked, the child gets a feeling that it is allowed and unnoticeable and thus gets emboldened.

   
   

   2. Don’t shame the child
      When you confront the child, angry and upset as you may be, it is possible to utter things which are hurtful. Don’t use shaming words which hurt the child’s self-esteem. It will be really difficult to undo that harm. Children take their parents words very seriously. Though it may not appear, they do hear and remember every word. Words like ‘liar’, ‘irresponsible’ are hurtful, and they do not fade from the child’s memory. Remain firm, but do not use words to ‘label’ the child.

   
   

   3. Don’t use extreme measures
      Extreme measures will bring extreme outcomes. Sometimes parents directly, immediately punish instead of solving the matter and consider the punishment to be the solution. If you want to prevent your child from making further mistakes, the solution is through conversation. You must understand the child’s point of view as well as explain the discrimination between right and wrong. At times, telling the child of the consequences they could suffer as a punishment may be used. Yet, the punishment meted out to the child must be very gentle and only to reinforce your stand and never to hurt, harm or humiliate. For example, reducing pocket money could be enforced for a short period if your child has not spent it responsibly. It reminds the child of the mistake, yet does not hurt his dignity.

   
   

   4. Don’t confront in anger
      Anger clouds judgment, so let your anger cool off first. When you find yourself calm, you would know that you are in control of the situation. Anger makes you volatile and reactive, and fearsome. It would make the child more defensive and try to cover up even harder instead of coming out with the truth. Without you realizing it, your anger could permanently sever the channel of conversation between your child and you. No matter what the situation at hand is, the role of a parent demands poise and rationality.

   
   

   

   5. Don’t burden the child with emotional guilt
      Parents often find themselves saying “what have I done to deserve this”, “why have you done this to me”. A child has no such long formulated plan to particularly hurt the parent. It is quite ironic that when the child was committing the mistake, he was perhaps not even thinking about you. You must accept that it is an unnecessary emotional reaction on your part which has to be checked.

   
   

   6. Don’t forget to be loving
      Remembering that a person, even be it your own child cannot be lovable at every point of time is a realistic view of a relationship. Love is tested by situations when the person you love does not do something loveable or agreeable. Yet, it is most important to treat the child with love and kindness even though he may have made a serious mistake. Harshness will cause the child to drift away from you, leaving you with angst and emptiness.
   ]]> http://thinklink.in/6-common-mistakes-parents-make-when-confronting-the-child/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/if-you-offer-peanuts-you-will-get-monkeys/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=if-you-offer-peanuts-you-will-get-monkeys http://thinklink.in/if-you-offer-peanuts-you-will-get-monkeys/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:41:59 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=5629

   

   An American was traveling in Afghanistan when his Cadillac stalled. He tried everything, but it didn’t start. Finally, a mechanic came from the hills who was riding a donkey. He opened the bonnet and hit the cylinder head six times. He asked the American to start it and it started. The American asked, “How much?” The mechanic said, “$100. The American gasped and asked him to itemize the bill. The mechanic said, “10 cents for hitting six times and $99.90 for knowing where to hit.”

   MORAL: Respect Skilled People.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/if-you-offer-peanuts-you-will-get-monkeys/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-anxiety/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-deal-with-anxiety http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-anxiety/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:39:09 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5418

   Anxiety is an intemperate reaction to situations apparently inescapable or unmanageable. It differs from fear for the fact that anxiety focuses on matters yet to happen, while fear is related to the present. In a way, anxiety could be explained as a response to perceived threats, ambiguity of the future and perhaps as a negative view of the surprise which the future holds. It is normal to experience a fair amount of anxiety for critical matters, but it is short-lived. When people experience anxiety as their general mood, it is important to find a way to deal with it. A prolonged state of anxiety is likely to have similar ill-effects as stress.

   Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anxiety:

   1. Watch your thoughts
      “The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven” – John Milton. Anxiety is a normal thing, and everyone is equally susceptible. Therefore a conscious effort to cleanse the mind is important. A bad experience may leave its marks on our mind, yet it should not deprive us of hope and faith in the future. Associate with optimistic people and learn how they maintain their disposition and resilience. Positive thoughts are a wholesome antidote for anxious feelings.

   
   

   2. Manage your anger
      When your anger goes unchecked, you have created a situation of negativity, unrest, and disharmony around you. Trivial matters become your focus and worries, and anxiety follows. As people begin to distance themselves due to your angry outbursts, sadly there would be fewer people who can support you to deal with anxiety.

   
   

   3. Set right standards for yourself
      Most of our anxiety comes when we compare ourselves with others. Along with anxiety, comparing also breeds jealousy, another vicious and negative feeling. Read “Simple Ways of dealing with Jealousy”. When you no longer want to achieve just to compete with others or to gain their approval, but for your own evolvement and growth, you have certainly freed your mind from this unnecessary burden of anxiety.

   
   

   4. Control the urge to multi-task
      Modern gadgets have immense efficacy as they make it possible to do multiple activities at a given point of time. Yet, there is a serious negative aspect to this convenience. When you do one activity which may cause you little stress, say you are negotiating your car through very heavy traffic when you are taking your child to answer a test, and at the same time you are trying to sort out a matter over the phone with someone who has upset you; are you in the best situation to handle all of that concurrently? We would inevitable fail because our mind can handle only a given amount of stress at a time. When we over-work it, we feel anxious and exasperated.

   
   

   5. Manage your time and schedule
      A lot of people experience anxiety due to extremely minor faults and oversights in managing their schedule. When you need to keep a critical appointment, say an interview or presentation, have some spare time on your hands to reduce time related anxiety. Try to overestimate the probable delays. Giving yourself adequate time to become comfortable in the new environment helps in reducing anxiety and calms you down so that you can think more rationally.

   
   

   6. Prepare well
      There is no shortcut to preparation. When you put in less than your best during your preparation, you can expect anxiety and fear to accompany you along the task. Keep enough time to prepare, and prepare sincerely. Honest labour will bear fruit and it has no fear of results. It is when you have compromised with your work, you feel anxious.

   
   

   7. Don’t chase a moving target
      While you may not be aware, a lot of us are chasing not a definite goal but a moving target. So no matter what amount of work we put in, success and the satisfaction thereof eludes us. Clarify your goals. Define what you want. Decide how you plan to do it and just go ahead. It is when you change your mind or lose your conviction mid-way; you begin to feel anxious about where you are headed. Read how to achieve your goals.

   
   

   8. Use leisure time to build your strengths
      When work is over, most of us like to do activities which are completely unrelated to work. While compartmentalization has its benefits, ask yourself:

      Is there something you can do in your spare time that will help you do your work better?

      What can you learn to get an edge?

      How can upgrade your skill set?

      When you use your leisure to enhance your abilities, you have not just beaten complacency and competition, you have made tangible progress in the journey of your personal growth.

      Would you then have much to be anxious about when you are putting in honest labour?

   
   

   9. Don’t have too many advisors
      Sharing with another person helps you to gain more perspective on your concern. It is surely an advisable way to deal with anxiety. A word of caution is important here. Choose your advisors wisely and do not have too many of them. It is helpful to consider someone else’s view point and suggestions but too many of them will add to your worries instead.

   
   

   10. Exercise discrimination
       We become anxious when we fail to discriminate between the real and unreal. We all consistently judge things disproportionately. Having a realistic view of the world, and having realistic expectations in life will help us to keep our balance. Failures and disappointments will continue to matter, but will not affect us adversely so as to make us anxious or dejected. It takes a life-long learning to truly understand that there are really very few things which are very serious, rest all shall soon pass.

   
   

   Free you mind and do your best!

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-anxiety/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/indianisms-prepone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=indianisms-prepone http://thinklink.in/indianisms-prepone/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:34:15 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5406

   Indianisms are certain grammatical errors in English language that are very common in India. We will be covering some of these in the following issues of Tip of the Month. One of them is given below:-

   Prepone 

   The word prepone to mean “to move forward in time,” is a word coined by English speakers in India.

   Example: The examination set for March 12 has been preponed to February 16.

   ‘Prepone’ is not an English word. It’s commonly used in Indian subcontinent to mean the opposite of ‘post-pone’, but the rest of the world is largely unaware of it.

   Some existing antonyms for postpone are “bring forward, move up, advance.” Ex. The ten o’clock meeting has been moved forward to nine.
   

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/indianisms-prepone/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/fauja-singh-impossible-is-nothing/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fauja-singh-impossible-is-nothing http://thinklink.in/fauja-singh-impossible-is-nothing/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:31:54 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5372

   Fauja Singh (born April 1, 1911) is a Sikh marathon runner who is now over 100 years old. He is originally from India but has lived in the UK since 1992. He is a world-record holder in his age bracket in various sporting categories. He is Britain’s most popular Sikh in his 100′s. He has set various marathon records in the over 90′s and over 100′s categories. There are, it seems, no limits to the human spirit.

   In 2004, he was featured in an advertising campaign for sportswear manufacturer Adidas.

   In October 2011, Fauja Singh travelled to Canada to run in the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. As preparation for the marathon, on Thursday, October 13, 2011, he ran eight world record times for his age group in less than five hours at Scarborough’s Birchmount Stadium track in Toronto (Ontario, Canada), from distances as short as 100 metres to as long as 5,000 metres.

   Running the 42 or so kilometres would tax even a well-trained long- distance runner, but it seems to be just another record for Mr Singh. Remarkably, Mr Singh took up running just 11 years ago, after the death of his wife and son. Indeed, till the 1960s, when he moved to the UK, he was a farmer in India.

   His timing was eight hours, 25 minutes and 16 seconds, and he came ahead of five other competitors, obviously younger to him. He had done the same course in 2003 in just five hours and forty minutes, but he was only 92 years old then.

   Mr Singh says that his stamina comes from ginger curry, tea and positive thinking.

   His motto is: Be grateful for everything you have, stay away from negative people, stay smiling and keep running.

   Please click on the links below to view the spirit of Fauja Singh

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeQxVDoFyP0&NR=1

    

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/fauja-singh-impossible-is-nothing/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/blade-runner-sprinter-with-no-legs-wins-right-to-compete-in-olympics/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=blade-runner-sprinter-with-no-legs-wins-right-to-compete-in-olympics http://thinklink.in/blade-runner-sprinter-with-no-legs-wins-right-to-compete-in-olympics/#comments Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:21:06 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5203

   “You’re not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have.”

   

   Oscar Leonard Carl Pistorius (born 22 November 1986) is a South African sprint runner. Known as the “Blade Runner” and “the fastest man on no legs”, Pistorius, who has a double amputation, is the world record holder in the 100, 200 and 400 metres (sport class T44) events and runs with the aid of Cheetah Flex-Foot carbon fibre transtibial artificial limbs by Ossur.

   In 2008, he won a landmark case against the IAAF, which had tried to ban him from able-bodied competitions, claiming his artificial legs gave him an unfair advantage. Pistorius hopes to compete at both the Paralympics and Olympics in 2012.
   According to Oscar, “I had my legs amputated below the knee as a baby after being born without fibulas in both legs, due to a congenital condition. I was never brought up as a “disabled” person. As a kid, I grew up competing against able-bodied people in rugby and water polo.

   At boarding school my mates played pranks on me and liked to hide my legs. When I woke up in the morning the first thing I’d have to do was look for my legs! I liked it though – my situation’s never going to change so the best way to treat it is with humour.

   I began competing in Paralympic sport in 2004, although I wish I’d got involved sooner. It taught me so much more about doing your best, while able-bodied sport is just about winning at any cost. I can win now and be disappointed, or I can come fifth and be happy. It’s about the performance.”

   

   His story is one that can truly inspire anyone. Having no legs would be sufficient reason to hinder most people’s athletic careers, but not his.

   Please click on the link below to view a clip on the man himself.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/blade-runner-sprinter-with-no-legs-wins-right-to-compete-in-olympics/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/is-your-child-hiding-something/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-your-child-hiding-something http://thinklink.in/is-your-child-hiding-something/#comments Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:19:20 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5185

   No matter how diligent parents are, the younger generation is difficult to outsmart. As a concerned parent you may want to know everything happening in and around your child. Including what your child does not tell you.

   What can you do to find out if there is anything your child is hiding from you? Here is what can help:
   
   
   

   Watch for signs

   Look for the signs. If something is going on, it will surely leave its traces. Sometimes parents may miss seeing them. Here is what you can observe in children when they are hiding something:

   1. Needless lying
   2. A surge in the number of phone calls and text messages
   3. New names of friends
   4. A change in the behaviour and appetite
   5. Irritability
   6. Watching too much television suddenly
   7. The dustbin
   8. The internet
   9. Sudden protectiveness about an object
   10. Invitations from friends whom you have not heard of before

   
   

   When you receive untrue replies for simple questions and matters, it is probable there is something the child is trying to evade.

   You can gather by the pattern of phone calls. A sudden surge in the number of people and the duration your child speaks on the phone is a good indicator that something may be amiss. Apart from the obvious sign that your child is speaking in hushed tones, also watch the names of people your child is talking with. Do not ignore if any particular name arouses suspicion in your mind.

   Hiding is not very easy for a child. It takes a toll on their little minds. And as a result their behaviour undergoes some change and so does their sleeping and eating pattern, responses, calmness and general disposition. Even if it is as harmless as watching more television, there could be an underlying cause for it. There could be something on your child’s mind which he is trying to escape by sitting in front of the television. An aware parent can infer a lot from it.

   See what is being thrown away, in addition to what is being protected. Also, keep track of your child’s activity on the internet. Though all out of good intention, your child may be interacting with a stranger you would not approve of.

   Whenever your child receives an invitation, drop your child at the friend’s place yourself. That way you can be sure. In short, parents need to always have their wits about them. Do not ignore your instincts as they rarely lie to you.

   Resolve Compassionately

   When you do find conclusive evidence of what your child is hiding, it may be difficult to control the urge to confront the child. But remember, it is your own, and just a child. Be compassionate and understanding. He needs your support more than an angry outburst. Explain how you feel and ask questions patiently. Try to work out a resolution through a loving dialogue instead of threatening the child.

   Hiding from parents is a very common part of growing up. It does not reflect on the parents or the child. All you must remember is to handle the situation with care.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/is-your-child-hiding-something/feed/ 0 http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-guilt/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-deal-with-guilt http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-guilt/#comments Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:14:04 +0000 Think Inc Team http://thinklink.in/?p=5166

   Have you ever felt heavy in your heart, and a nagging reminder from the inside that tells you to slow down as you have been committing mistakes? It could be a realization of a mistake committed, yet often it is an emotional state where you perceive that you are wrong. Guilt is an unseen and undetectable feeling from the outside but it weighs down the feelings and spirits of the person who is carrying it. It is not always possible to find a logical explanation to its antecedents.

   Nevertheless, the consequences of bearing guilt in the mind make it an essential area to work upon if we wish to liberate and elevate our inner self.
   

   Here are a few things that would be useful:

   1. Find the reason
      If you are sensing a general feeling of guilt, and want to come out, first you need to go deeper into it. Find the real reason. Till then, there can be no way you can rescue yourself. If you find yourself completely lost, confide in a good friend. He could help you to identify the reason.

   
   

   2. Do not look for instant gains
      When we take a short-cut for an instant gain, little do we realize that the pleasure will evaporate in a short while. It would be replaced by guilt. One sure way to keep guilt out of our mind is to resist the temptation of taking the easy route as it rarely makes us a better person.

   
   

   3. Look for the pattern
      There is nothing more common than the never-ending cycle of ‘doing something- feeling guilty – and then do it again’! Look for the circumstances which allure you to do something for which you will feel guilty afterwards. Think of what you can do to not find yourself in those circumstances. For instance, if speaking rudely in anger makes you feel guilty afterwards; the best thing to do is not speak when angry.

   
   

   4. Break the pattern
      By resisting only once you can break the pattern. Though that may test your endurance, it would be worth the effort to try it. You would experience the lightness of having no guilt. This feeling would be very uplifting and motivating. Each time you are faced with a dilemma, resolving would be easy as you can remind yourself of this one time when you were able to go against the urge which otherwise is more powerful.

   
   

   5. It is not a bad thing
      The reason you feel guilty is not because you are ‘bad’, but because you are a good person who might have done something not so good. Let it not depress your soul, but rather tell you that there is goodness in your heart and all you need to do is control a few impulses.

   
   

   6. Forgive
      Forgive yourself. As humans we can make mistakes. It would be arrogant to expect ourselves to be doing the right things always. It is easier said than done. Hence even before seeking forgiveness from others whom you think you may have hurt, first, forgive yourself.

   
   

   7. Make positive choices
      Every morning we get a new day to do better than yesterday, and make a better choice. Our life, our joys and feelings will be a consequence of these choices. Make positive choices, consciously. Live positively.

   
   

   8. Leave the past in the past
      In addition to a feeling, guilt is a memory – one that is not pleasant and positive. If you learnt the lesson and committed yourself to never repeat the mistake, guilt should have no place. Leave it in the past.

   
   

   The following is a very famous Zen story which teaches us a valuable lesson that would give us a perspective on handling guilt:
   

   The Burden

   Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the road sides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to her lifted her and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.

   In the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, “Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman?”

   The elder monk answered “yes, brother”.

   Then the younger monk asks again, “but then Sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside?”

   The elder monk smiled at him and told him “I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her.”

   Source: http://www.awakeblogger.com/2008/09/the-10-very-best-zen-stories/

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/how-to-deal-with-guilt/feed/ 1 http://thinklink.in/they-alone-live-who-live-for-others/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=they-alone-live-who-live-for-others http://thinklink.in/they-alone-live-who-live-for-others/#comments Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:01:34 +0000 Dr. Promod Batra http://thinklink.in/?p=5200

   

   We all have greatest of respect for Gandhijee, Mother Teresa and now Annajee. And many more since civilization started thousands of years ago.

   There is a wise saying: “when big bells are ringing, no one hears the small bells”. True! Very true!! But in my opinion, it is also true that, if each one of us, me and you, irrespective of how big we are, how old we are, what is our status and position in life, our financial position and whatever else, we will get respect of the society of whatever little we do for others. I get my inspiration from Gandhijee’s Satyagraha, during which people would contribute in whichever way they could. On one such occasion when a beggar woman came on stage and Gandhijee got up himself to receive the coin everyone was surprised and when asked Gandhijee, replied with a smile: possibly she has given her lunch money!! The point is: it is our sincerity of purpose in life when we give what we give, versus our potential!

   I also get inspiration from a saying that if a glass can hold certain amount of water and it is full to its capacity, it is doing its 100% Karma.

   Azim Premjee of Wipro; Shiv Nadar of HCL; Sunil Bharati Mittal of Airtel, Murhty of Infosys; Kiran Mazumdar Shah of Biocon, and many more have given billions and millions for good causes to promote the welfare of the society. There is a new term which has been coined in the area of philanthropy which is ART OF GIVING. We Indians are getting inspired from Buffetts and Gates of USA. And why not? What is good in USA is good for us too! And there are those who give quietly: Tatas! You will never find a Tata in India’s Richi-Rich list because most of their wealth since generations are given to their trusts which have made a huge difference to our society.

   We can go on and on an on! But my message to you is simple: YOU, my friend, do the best you can to live for others by giving your time, ideas, money and whatever else you can give, till it hurts a little, and don’t worry who is seeing you or not. But don’t forget that when you go to sleep and you THINK IT OVER, have I lived a little bit for others today? If yes, go to sleep with a smile on your lips, in your mind and heart and if not do it tomorrow! Tomorrow is always another day to do your good! “Make it living for others” as part of your attitude. Good luck.

   ]]> http://thinklink.in/they-alone-live-who-live-for-others/feed/ 0