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Make forgiveness your permanent attitude.  I am a selfish person in that I always want to be very happy and less stressful. With this as my stated goal, I practice forgive and forget. It is a slow process. An eye for an eye sounds good, but it leaves everybody blind! It is worth it? In some cases, maybe, so that the mistakes are not repeated again. One can use judgement after thinking. One has to forget it too. A retentive memory is good, but to forget is also very good.

Revenge, in some cases, may be necessary but it should be taken in the rarest of cases. One has to see the intention behind the act.

Revenge is like biting a dog because the dog bit you. You should not forget it, only ensure that you are not bitten again; but instead of biting back, learn from the incident.

Now, others may not forgive you. Then why should you forgive others? Good question! Well, if you also want to boil in your own juices, very good, go ahead! In my own case, as I said earlier, I am selfish; I want to be happy and, therefore, I don’t want to fry in my own silly thinking.

If you do not forgive friends, a day will come when you will not have any friends. If you are a businessman, you will not have customers I know of such people. They carry on with the wrongs which have been done to them. Some do not even forgive and forget their parents. And some parents do not forgive and forget their children. I know of one set of parents who did not forgive and forget their son for marrying against their wishes. I know very well that a son should marry as per the wishes of his parents. But sometimes, like in this case, circumstances emerge and one cannot help it. I know it is very difficult, but then what can you do about it except to stew in your own juices. I think that for the sake of flying a kite with my grandson, I will forgive my son many times. I can go on and on, but I surely forgive and forget so as to enjoy life… the simple pleasures of life.

Let good common sense be your guide. With the help of its light, you can succeed and be happys and achieve your stated goals. Good sense is our armour and it can protect us from insults – intentional or unintentional. It can raise us to an altitude where the stones hurled at us won’t hurt us. This good common sense becomes intelligence. Do not forget that to manage those who do not have common sense, you have to have double intelligence.

Benevolence makes it possible to forgive and forget. You do not have to be rich and wealthy to forgive and forget, but you have to be benevolent and have the maturity to think that way.

A desire for revenge will harm you more quickly and surely than the habit of forgiving and forgetting.

Ingrid Bergman said that happiness lies in good health and a bad memory. A bad memory helps us to be able to forgive and forget.

Article by Promod Batra

Promod-Batra Photograph 31 Jul 14