All of a sudden, the turn of the century has brought a change in the attitude of parents and it has begun to exert a constant and negative pressure on the child. We have begun to measure our child’s worth by their academic and competitive achievements, and by that alone. The love of learning in children is so strong when they are small. We destroy it gradually by compelling them to work for marks, rewards, or A’s on report cards. We just want the satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else’s child. There is a saddening ‘parental greed’ in the way children are being brought up today.
We must look into our heart and ask if we have burdened our child’s mind with the task of fulfilling our dreams rather than held his hands to help fulfill his own dreams.
In our times the parent was like a ‘Fierce God’ but in these times it is necessary to break away from that role and become more participative, reasonable and flexible. However the olden times had its blessings. The culture of living in a joint family is now on the decline. That has increased the responsibility of parents. We have to not just ensure education for our children but also inculcate moral values, culture, social skills, and personality. These were the gifts of large families.
Positive parenting is more relevant today than ever because the pressures a child has to handle today are immense. On one hand is peer pressure, on the other hand there is academic pressure. And as if that weren’t enough, there is parental pressure. The only solace for the child is to run to the television or refrigerator. From there is the beginning of childhood depression ( to read more about depression click here ), childhood obesity, low self-esteem (to read more about low self-esteem click here ), and eventually social incompatibility.
There are many parents who do not directly pressurize the child, but there is another thing they do which is perhaps even more devastating – compare and criticize the child. This is a deadly poison which hampers the development of a child. It shakes a child’s confidence and breeds resentment toward studies, towards parents and towards his own friends who score more than him.
Encouragement and appreciation is the most important aspect of parenting. As parents we think in the best interest of the child, but in that, we find ourselves only telling the child what they cannot do.
Don’t speak to that boy. Don’t waste money. Don’t be out till so late. Don’t watch TV. These are such familiar sentences. If you were to examine them, they have no clear direction.
Instead of saying who to stay away from, it is so much simpler to say, who to invite at home for playing!
If we have not taught the child how to save money, how can we command them to not waste the money?!
It is far more effective to tell your child what time to return home than to vaguely warn about the night and darkness.
It is important to help your child to develop a hobby because children who have a hobby (to read more about hobbies click here) will naturally have less time to spare for television.
As parents if we use such limiting and negative language, is it really fair to expect the child to grow up as a positive minded individual?
Along with positive parenting, there needs to be wise parenting, which is about accepting your child’s abilities and celebrating at his achievements at every step. The parent must live each moment as a role model as an honest, sincere and responsible human being.
Children may never listen to us, but remember, they are always watching what we do, and how we do.
Tags: child parenting, children and parents, good parenting, parent and child, parent child interaction, parent child relation, parent child relationship, parent child relationships, parent pressure, parental pressure, parenting children, parenting skills, parenting tips, parents, positive parenting tips
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