How to Not Be a Pressuring Parent
Parents will always want the best for their children, but sometimes what they want is in conflict with what their child wants. This is an uneasy atmosphere at home for the child because they will have certain expectations to meet, some of which they are very uncomfortable doing. Here’s how you can tell your kids what you expect of them, but at the same time not make it seem like you’re demanding them to do so.
You need to decide when it is the best time to talk to your child as to not stress them out. The best time to talk to your kid is when they are in a more relaxed state. Don’t start the conversation when they have just gotten home from school or their part time job and also you shouldn’t start the conversation when your child is out having fun with friends and family. A good time to start your conversation would be at night after dinner when your child is in his/her room.
Initiate the conversation by asking your kid how their day at school/work was. Engage in the conversation with them and provide lots of insights and opinions during your conversation.
As the conversation draws to an end, you can begin to change topic over to what it is that you really wanted to tell them. Start by saying something like, “Oh by the way…” or “So have you…”, and then tell them what’s on your mind.
After you’ve said what you wanted to say, be sure to listen to what your child has to say in return. Let them finish talking and don’t interrupt them as they speak.
Once your child finish replying , simply give them your acknowledgement that you agree with what they’ve just said or give a short and quick rebuttal to their reply. If your child argues or disagrees with your rebuttal simply let them know that you understand their perspective and leave it at that. You don’t want to seem too controlling, demanding, or appear too much like a pressuring parent. Talking to your child each day and giving them some space during each conversation is the key to being a non pressuring parent
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