Simple Ways™ to deal with Jealousy
As a part of our series on handling limiting feelings, let us explore the causes and effects of jealousy. Some amount of jealousy can be healthy as a motivator, yet if it goes unchecked, it could be very destructive. Whether someone is jealous of you or if it is you who experiences that feeling for another, in both cases, it is a matter of concern.
Here are some simple ways to deal with both of these aspects:
When you find that others are jealous of you, practice the following:
- Win their heart
The best way to win people over is by winning their heart. It is possible that your efforts and initiatives in a team may at times go unnoticed, but no one can ignore a person who has touched their heart. People like those who are kind and caring towards them, and therefore cannot be jealous of them.
- Dispel rumours
Jealous people usually rely on tools like spreading rumours about who they are jealous of. The best way to deal with it is to model a character which represents your true self so that people can note the difference in what they may have heard and what they clearly see.
People have limitations, and sometime they cannot do much about it other than accepting them. Jealousy therefore, is a very natural response of the less gifted towards the talented and successful. Under the surface of jealousy are deep feelings of inadequacy, though at times these may be mere perceptions. It reveals that the person has low self-esteem. Once you realize that, you can be more patient with them. To read on How to deal with Low Self-esteem click here
- Be reassuring in your demeanor
A very gracious way of dealing with jealousy around you is by spreading a message that – ‘even if you have a little more than others in terms of achievements and talents, it does not mean you are a better human being than others. You are aware of your vulnerability as a human and thus remain grounded at all times. As human beings, all are equal.’
- Communicate with the person
You may be enduring a person’s spiteful remarks out of jealousy, yet that may not be discouraging the person. In a very gentle tone, you can express that the words are hurting your relationship with him. This would surely prompt them to keep their emotions under check.
When you find yourself feeling jealous, think, ask and practice the following:
- Examine your role
Jealousy is not always about what the other person feels for you. There may have been unintentional actions on your part that have led others to feel that they have been crushed under the weight of your personality. Hence look within you and when you arrive at an answer, do something about it.
- Find the cause of your jealousy
Jealousy is the effect, and it is extremely important to find its root cause. The cause gives an insight to what you value. It speaks of your fears as well as desires and aspirations. It serves as a good exercise for self-discovery and subsequently, a direction for self-development.
- Use it like a motivator
Some are jealous of others talents and skills, while others may be jealous of success. If you look carefully, people experience jealousy for things which someone has achieved by virtue of their hard work. Instead of paralyzing you, let this feeling mobilize your efforts toward what you wish to achieve.
- Do your best. Always.
Most jealousies stem from the feeling of insecurities and inadequacies. When you have given your best, then it does not matter if someone else has done better than you. Doing your best means you have done everything with your capacity. It is only when your efforts are less than your best that you will fear.
- Count your blessings
Success, achievements or material possessions can never be enough. Someone will always have a little more than you do. Hence, instead of evaluating what you possess, list things that you have which money cannot buy. Be grateful for those. Then, no matter what others may have, you will not feel jealous.
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