Steps For Teaching Children Values
Teaching your children values will help them make good choices in their lives. Today’s world is ever changing and very fast paced. In years past children grew up in a small community or with just their families and their challenges were much different. As a parent your influence over your children has been diminished and so you need to try extra hard to instill good values in them.
1What are your values? Teaching values to our children must start with our selves. This is a very critical step and only you can determine what your values are. You naturally want your children to have integrity and a good character. Your values determine what kind of car you drive, how you spend your time and how you spend your money.
2 Do you want your children patterning you? Your children will take on many of your values by watching you. When you see a value your child is developing does it make you feel uncomfortable? Is this a value you have that you do not like? Now is the time to change our values into what we want our children to adopt.
3Ask yourself questions. If you found Rs.1, 000 lying on the road what would you do with it? If you had a day where you could do anything you felt like what would it be? If you could choose to spend your weekend shopping or donating your time to a NGO what would you choose? The way you answer these question reveals some of your values. Are you happy with your answers?
4 Monthly family meeting. This can be over dinner, at a park or in your home. Focus on your children. Ask them how school is going and about their friends. Discuss your values with them and get their opinions.
5One value each month. Each month focus on a single value. It can be anything from character building to goal setting. The important thing is that your children have the opportunity to tell you what they think of it. By doing this your children will feel like they are part of the process and will appreciate your willingness to hear different perspectives.
Teaching values to our children starts with our own values. First we need to understand what our values are. If we lack certain values or are unhappy with a current value then now is the time to change. Then set some time aside each month where you can meet with your children and discuss a different value each month with them.
6Pay Attention to Who Else Might Be Teaching Values to Your Kids. Get to know your child’s teachers, coaches, friends, etc. Anyone who spends time with your children may be influencing them. Know their values and beliefs as well.
7Ask Your Kids’ Questions That Will Stimulate Dialogue About Values. Telling your kids what values they should have won’t be very effective, especially when your kids get older. Asking them “curious” questions will allow discussions that will eventually lead to values. “What did you think about that fight?” will be more effective than, “He shouldn’t have started that fight!”
8Talk To Them About Values In A Relaxed And Easy Way. Nothing will turn your kids off more than preaching values to them after they’ve messed up on something! Talk to them when everyone’s relaxed, and do it in a light,conversational manner. Be aware of using the “parental tone,” which has your kids wanting to run for the door.
9Have Frequent Conversations About Values In Your Household. Don’t make the mistake of only talking about values when something goes wrong. Your kids need to hear your values reflected often in conversations. It’s another way for them to know that it’s important.
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