No one is perfect. And we need to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all. As we go through life, challenges arise to help us keep growing. We`re human and we have layers. Just when we think we`ve learned something, life comes along and shows us there`s more. The opposite of Perfectionitis is what researchers call "healthy striving." Studies show that healthy strivers set realistic goals that are the natural next step from where they are now. You can too! Go ahead and you can work smarter, not harder.
- Don`t beat yourself up.`No matter how easy it is to say to yourself, `Why can`t you just get over this`` allow yourself the time to learn the lesson at your own pace. Challenges can hit a raw nerve within us. Sometimes we need to take it step by step and nurture ourselves in the process. Be nice and gentle to yourself!
- Observe your thoughts and emotions.`Awareness is the first step in acknowledging any life challenge. How are you responding to a particular event, circumstance, or person` What are your initial feelings` And why are you feeling this way` Asking yourself some important questions can help you understand why you are having such a profound response to something. Don`t censor yourself to sound like a good person. Be truthful. It`s the only way to find out what`s really beneath it all.
- Shift the focus back to you.`Our outer world is a reflection of what`s going on within us because we project our own thoughts and feelings onto other people and events. We give it our own meaning. Remember, we can`t change other people, the past, or circumstances out of our control. All we can change is ourselves. Shift your focus back onto yourself and realize that you have the power to change your life.
- Accept what you cannot change.`I know it`s easy to resist your circumstances, and blame other people and events. Sometimes we just have to accept it, breathe through it, and know that this is happening because it`s time for us to grow.
- Stop "Shoulding" On Yourself -`Healthy striving goes along with healthy self-esteem. And when your self-esteem is alive and well, you tend to live from the inside out. You "pick a game you can win,". You go for things that have juice for you inside and are attainable outside. You pay attention to the smarts inside of you. You let go of the "shoulds" and let the dreams of your heart have a say. When you do, you can't help but take better care of you. And, miracle of miracles, you cut yourself some slack and others. `The good news is that no one is unblemished. There isn't a single perfect person on the planet. `Everyone gets angry and disappointed.
- Just Say No. Take a look at what's on your schedule. Write down what you plan to get done today. How much time have you marked out for each item` Double it. Stuff takes longer than you think. What items on your list need to be removed` Learn to say no. Learn to let go."
- Get Real. That's not all. Where is your You Time` If you don't schedule in time for yourself, who will` As Mayor, plan a recess break of at least 15 minutes. And make sure you keep it.
- Get Really Real. Take a peep at your To Do List. Are your goals realistic` Or would you need to clone yourself to get everything done` Make a Maybe Someday List of those items you'd like to get to but can't at the moment. Check your Maybe Someday List weekly to see if the status has changed.
- Get Really, Really Real. Stop being the Lone Ranger. Pick up the phone. Ask for help or advice. You probably have a pal who excels in an area that isn't your best.
- Keep It Real. Sharing support is a sure sign of being in Perfectionitis recovery. There is nothing like pairing up with somebody to help you get real. Check in with each other. Having a buddy will help you to keep your commitment to take care of you while setting more realistic goals.
- Praise and Prize. Congratulate yourself often. Even for the silly little things. "Bravo, that was a superb meal I prepared ." The more you praise yourself, the less you will be driven to seek praise from others.
- Thank Yourself. Thank yourself for making any fabulous choice to take back your life.