Parents want to know what is going on in their child`s world. To know that, they would adopt every measure they can manage. Of course it is all in good intent, yet it takes away peace of mind. We shall not discuss what to do instead. But if we could see what and how this pursuit impacts us and the children, we would be motivated to find an alternative. While this is a situation relevant to parents of teenagers, yet parents whose children are younger would realize it is an approaching concern and relevant to them as well. Are you doing something similar unknowingly` There are many mothers who have chosen to dedicate themselves entirely to responsibilities that motherhood brings. Their noble and selfless decision has however, another side to it. As children grow up from babyhood to early childhood, their dependence on parents naturally lessens. And a major shift as far as self-reliance as individuals is concerned, takes place when they enter their teens. Now they have independent thought as well. This gradual shift from dependence to self-reliance to complete independence takes a toll on the mother who has left her career to raise the child as it makes her feel less and less useful. And as a result, these mothers become vulnerable to other behavioural and psychological situations. The most commonly observed behaviour is irritability and sense of unworthiness in spite of putting in their hard work. It must be an agony to be shouldering the responsibilities of a parent and yet be full of self-doubt ` about one`s abilities and contribution. Before long, the entire energy is diverted to finding out about the child ` about their social media and cellular phone usage. Some parents do not realize that they are almost stalking their children. The children as a result learn how to outsmart and operate stealthily. And that is sad. Imagine yourself calling your child and he does not answer. Most parents will confess that they begin to think the worst has taken place and even practice ways to handle such an eventuality. The child of course, completely oblivious of the agony has no means to interpret the sudden and disproportionate reaction. Misunderstandings and discontent are born out of such experiences; consequently without either of them realizing it, the child begins to withdraw. How does it impact` We may not realize it, but when we begin to assume too much or when we become too curious, both ways we are trying to control their life. For younger children, the approach shows up little more plainly. Mothers probe, and ask compulsively about every playground, canteen and classroom detail. Of course one would understand that this does not refer general fact-finding which otherwise a necessity with younger children. Even if the child may be as young as five, he can comprehend the fact that you are running their life instead. Their free-play becomes accountable; their every movement is under supervision. When you begin to enquire about them from their friends, that generates a lot of discontent in the child and affects his self-esteem. Such an approach where you want to know everything, you want to decide everything creates a lot of problem in your relationship with the child. It has an adverse effect at the same time, on the child`s overall development. It impairs his ability to decide. In the name of being cautious, let us as parents not become obsessed with every movement and detail. A large number of such children who face this situation grow up as very resentful adults. They are completely irreverent of their parents` contribution and they harbour a lot of bitterness. How can we deal with it better` ` The better way is to build trust. Empower your child to become trustworthy. You will not need to keep check in the same way. ` Have a parallel life of your own, a world where your presence is felt and heard beyond your home. It increases your sense of self-worth and the child`s regard for you in the long run. ` Give them values they can live their life by. It is an education of the mind and soul which will not let them fall off the right path. ` Show respect to their decisions, stand by them. When they go wrong, gently correct them. Just as we adults cannot be comfortable having anyone, even our parents present all the time, it could be so for the children. As your child how can you with mutual co-operation create a design by means of which your concerns are addressed without making the child feel bitter. Such open conversations strengthen the bonding and you can truly feel the glory of being a parent and experiencing the love of your child for you.