Are your children silent, moody or angry` Do they zone out in front of the TV instead of engaging in family activities and conversations` The reason behind this behavior is most likely that they are experiencing emotions that they cannot identify. They don't know how to process what they are feeling. As a parent, you are not only responsible for your children's physical safety but also their emotional health. You can teach your children how to identify their emotions and how to express them in a healthy manner.
Instructions
Here's What You Do
- Spend time with your children. Try taking them on a walk, do a craft activity with them or play a fun board-game with them. This time should be fun, stress-free and comfortable. Don't try to have a deep conversation right away and don't pressure your children into opening up and spilling their guts. However, you can casually ask your child if anything is bothering her. Mention that you've noticed that she is not herself and seems unhappy. If your child does not want to talk, that's all right. Tell her that you are always ready to hear what she has to say and then go on with the activity.
- Keep talking. A few days later, during a relaxed and peaceful time, once again ask your child if anything is bothering her. You may be a little more persistent this time. Let her know that you are ready to help solve any problems that she may have and that she will not be judged or punished for expressing her emotions. Tell her that she might be confused about what she's feeling and that talking to a grown-up, who has been through the same thing, will help tremendously. Most likely, a discussion will begin.
- Listen. Really hear what she is saying. Do not get defensive or upset. You might not like what you are hearing but remain calm and, most importantly, nonjudgmental. If your children think that you will get angry or they will be punished, they will not open up to you in the future. It is very important that the lines of communication remain open.
- Respond. After you have heard what your children have to say, it's okay to put a label on what they are feeling. Say something comparable to "You're feeling frustrated about that". Or "It sounds as though you are angry". Children simply do not have the words to express what they are feeling. You need to give them the tools to use. If they know what they are feeling, and yet are having difficulty articulating it to you, they will at least have a conversation with you of some sort instead of withdrawing and being upset.
- Don't let the situation happen again. Now that you are aware of the situation that made your child upset, you can be diligent and prevent it from occurring again.