The conversations between parent and child are very revealing of what sort of unsaid agreement they have arrived at, in a very short span of time. Children as small as seven years of age knows very well how much of what his thoughts are acceptable to his parents. They can, in spite of their limited understanding of behaviour, very well predict the reactions of the parents. Children are born with free expression. What they feel and think, they say, and exactly in the same form. They do not understand any sort of pretention that is involved in adult speech. But this gift of innocent speech is short lived as they are constantly experiencing situations where they are receiving a conditioning from the environment to not speak their mind. One may say that by the time they approach teenage, they have learnt few harsh lessons of the danger of speaking their mind openly. As a result, they begin to conceal. It begins with everyday things like not giving much details of their day in school, to more serious ones, about their feelings or about any important incident which occurs.(Read: Is your child hiding something`) What may be going wrong` One of the most priceless investments of a parent is being a patient and honest listener. At any point when children experience inconsistency in the way their parents listen to them, they begin to withdraw. Especially in a conversation where a child is expressing disagreement and dislike, the manner in which the parent listens is of utmost importance. Due to few moments of carelessness and indifference, our children may be defining the way they would speak to us for the rest of their lives. Instead of accepting and appreciating their child`s perspective, many parents look upon a child`s expression of dislike and disagreement as an act of disrespect and belligerence. As a result the parent may become loud, aggressive and even very defensive. Any such response smothers the child`s courage and openness in his sharing of thoughts forever. These tiny moments add up and over time assume and exert immense control in our relationship. When the child grows to an adult, he has much to offer in terms of knowledge and meaning. Yet they would possibly refrain themselves for how they were treated by their parents. To look at the matter from another angle, not letting the child express himself could be affecting the child`s self-esteem (Read: Cultivating your child`s Individuality). Home is the first place where the child practices his values and tries and tests his abilities. It is also the safest to begin living ones ideas and opinions. The home is where we all expect unconditional acceptance and support from. The encouragement he receives from his parents or the lack of it, may therefore build or completely destroy his sense of esteem. What can you do` As it is true for any form of feedback, it requires open-mindedness to accept it and even acknowledge the person who is delivering it. However, to actually practice that with simplicity is always a challenge. One reason why parents do not allow children to be vocal about their disagreements and dislikes is because parents feel that their authority is being questioned. They also feel that slowly and gradually his image in the child`s eyes will become less honourable. In some manner, it makes the parent feel insecure ` and that is also the reason for defensive behaviour. ` However difficult it may be, always acknowledge your child for the trust he has shown, because of which he has chosen to share his mind with you. ` At the same time, lay down rules, that disagreements need not be expressed disagreeably. Maintain decorum. For that you need to at all times respond agreeably as well. (Read: Walk the Talk with your Children) ` When you disagree with others, try not becoming resentful. This is a very natural and the most common impact on behaviour. Imagine, if our children would also take to it! ` Always discuss disagreements based on `what is now possible in the future`. Otherwise, a disagreement conversation ends up being cynical and full of criticism. ` Whatever the matter is, try to come to some sort of compromise. You need not give in, neither fully, nor every time. Rather it is important to let your child learn that things cannot go exactly their way, and they must accept few things even if they dislike. (Read: Boosting your Child`s Emotional intelligence) Human beings are born with the gift of thinking and reasoning. Hence disagreements are natural responses to another`s thought process. Children who learn to appreciate that and also make room for another person`s view definitely grow as more stable and grounded individuals. Make room for disagreements because contrasting views add balance and stability to decisions. Let our children learn to disagree agreeably!